A Mind Bending Inconvenience
by Taka
Summary: 22 year olds Naruto Uzumaki and Ino Yamanaka hardly consider each other friends, but after a not-so-friendly fight, the two are forced to get to know one another much more personally and physically.
1. Prologue: Good Day, Bad Day

Mashou Tokoshi leaned back in his chair, bobbing his head to the pulsing music. The giant of a man, 6'6 and a ton of muscle, grinned perversely as the near naked blond girl's ass shook to the rhythm. Her hips gyrated to and fro and he licked his lips lewdly at the sight. The sexy blond bent over in front of him, touching her toes, and she turned her head, winking coyly at him.

Mashou couldn't stop admiring the look of naivete and innocence the girl's pigtails, long and flowing, gave her as they brushed across her tempting heart-shaped ass. She lifted one of her long, slim legs, rubbing her inner thigh against the cool metal pole in the middle of the stage. Her leg coiled around the pole, and she bent back seductively, her breasts falling at him. He leaned forward to get a better look.

"Damn, baby! You're something else!" the missing Steam-nin exclaimed. He wore his headband proudly, a bold scratch through three curvy lines, and the rest of the clubs patrons willingly had left him alone because of it.

At the behest of the manager, he had been invited to have a private room. He had considered killing the man for talking to him, but had reconsidered and accepted the offer. The room was very impressive, sporting its own personal dancer and a pole she seemed to be very familiar with.

"If you weren't so overdressed-!"

The girl pulled herself against the pole, grinding against it. She smiled back at him, turning her head to the music, her long ponytails caressing her creamy thighs.

"What's your name?" Mashou rumbled, standing up, hands grasping the edge of the stage. "You're so good at your job."

The girl slid down to her hands and knees, and crawled toward the missing-nin. She beckoned him closer and Mashou complied, leaning in. A delicate hand slipped into his hair and his eyes scanned her slender arm down to her chest, then face, for the first time noticing three strange whisker marks on each of her cheeks.

The dainty hand seized his hair and his head was snapped back, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Name's Naruto Uzumaki," the girl whispered before she exploded into a puff of smoke.

It cleared quickly, revealing a twenty something young man, fully clothed in typical Jounin garb. Shaggy blond hair fell down around his cheeks, over a Konoha headband and his sky-blue eyes. The hand yanked on his hair, pulling his head back further.

Mushao's eyes widened.

"And yes, I'm damn good at my job," Naruto growled before slamming a kunai into man's unprotected throat.

The missing Steam-nin tried to scream, but gargled on the blood filling his throat instead. His mouth was covered by the blond Leaf Jounin's free hand, silencing him completely. He convulsed weakly, body slumping in his chair.

Naruto removed his hand, and leaned back, admiring his work. He slowly cleaned the blood from his kunai, eyes never leaving Mushao's face. Frowning, the Leaf-nin scratched lightly at the back of his neck with his newly cleaned weapon.

"Hope you're not angry, just doing my job," Naruto apologized.

The corpse didn't respond.

"I'll take your silence to say that you're not."

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"Never contend with one that is foolish, proud, positive, testy, or with a superior, or a clown, in matter of argument."  
- Thomas Fuller

A Mind Bending Inconvenience  
A Naruto Story  
By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place after the Naruto series, after Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren't dead in the Manga right now (Chapter 356) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic. Thank you for your time. Updated to include more recent events in the manga.

Also, thanks to Corwin for his help.

Prologue - Good Day, Bad Day

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki was having a good day. He'd completed his A-Rank mission all too easily and upon his return to Konoha, Tsunade had offered him a long awaited S-Rank.

His last one had been so long ago, he barely could recall what it had been about. What made the S-Rank mission all the more great was that it was in Spring Country, once known as Snow Country. He'd get to see Princess Yukie again and maybe even get another kiss. Apparently she had requested him specifically.

The blond Jounin rubbed his hands together, grinning slyly. Naruto was to leave some time in the next three days, but the sooner the better. He planned on heading next day, early in the morning.

He stretched his arms over his head before resting them on his neck. His large grin caused many pedestrians to stare, but he didn't care. They could stare all they wanted; it was a good day.

Ino Yamanaka was having a bad day. Horrible day and it was all because of a certain boy. Sai had grated on her nerves so badly over the past two weeks and today just topped it off. After spending nearly six years of training him to show his emotions, Sai was about as lively as a turtle. Any romance they may or may not have had after their first meeting was small, and Sai even now could hardly understand the concept of giving her a compliment.

He had, after a couple years of her coaching him not to, called her Ino-Pig. It stung. She hadn't been called that in a long time, and to hear it come from Sai made her feel like crap. It also pissed her off and she had punched the painter in the face before storming away, leaving him bleeding and confused.

Ino had wanted compliments, especially from her ex-boyfriend, if she could even consider Sai that. They rarely went out, they'd hardly made out, and he rarely was around in the first place, constantly on missions. She was really regretting all the time she'd spent on him. Sure he was good hearted, and occasionally sweet, but he  
seemed to really be obsessed with other guys penis', specifically Naruto Uzumaki's.

She had hounded him constantly to find out why he was so obsessed with it, but he'd just shrug and smile. Ino was surprised that her patience had lasted as long as it had, putting up with Sai's frustrating nature. Chouji and Shikamaru couldn't stand him at all, as all Sai did was insult them.

The beautiful blond sighed heavily, shoving her hands deep into her pockets as she continued her angry march through Konoha's streets.

She was the sexiest kuniochi of her age, the boys of the Rookie Nine having actually voted on it. From what she'd heard, only one of the guys hadn't voted for her: Naruto.

It always seemed to come back to that blond idiot, as if everything in Konoha revolved around him.

The blond kuniochi could admit that Naruto really had changed. He was one of the most respected Jounin in the Leaf Village, and there were whispers of his possible succession to the Hokage after Tsunade-sama's retirement.

He was much taller now, with broad shoulders and a well toned body as well as a handsome face, in a shaggy haired sort of way. It made sense considering how much he trained: Nonstop. A fan club followed him around from time to time, and it wasn't uncommon to see him with a female companion walking by his side. Not that he would ever admit to dating one of them. No, he was still saving himself for his beloved Sakura, who was so busy nowadays that she rarely ever left the hospital.

And while Shikamaru was a genius-genius, Naruto had a a complete idiot savant. He'd come up with utterly ridiculous battle plans, in the middle of being beaten to a pulp, that would miraculously work and save his ass.

Ino shook her head, long hair swishing. That didn't change the fact that he was still loud, annoying as all hell, and a pompous jerk. To her anyway.

She grunted as someone bumped into her shoulder and turned to give them an earful. 'Speak of the devil.'

Naruto grinned back at her. "Hey, Ino! Sorry about that," he said, smiling still.

Ino glared dangerously. "Just watch where you're going, idiot," she growled and spun around, making to leave.

"Such a brat," Naruto mumbled.

The blond kunoichi turned on Naruto. "What was that, idiot? What did you call me?"

"I called you a brat, because you are one!"

"I am in NO mood today, Naruto, and your loud mouth and stupid shit-eating grin aren't helping!" Ino exclaimed, pushing the other blond.

"Yeah, well I WAS in a good mood, but you sure know how to keep things upbeat! No wonder Sai's still so weird!" Naruto shot back, stepping up to Ino and towering over her. "You're such a. . . a. . . I don't know, but you suck!"

A few pedestrians eyed the two arguing blonds.

Usually soft pale blue eyes turned hard and glared up into Naruto's much darker ones. Ino grabbed the front of the taller Jounin's jacket. "Team 10's training grounds, right now. You and me."

Naruto barked out a laugh. "You're kidding! I'd cream you in a second, Yamanaka! I'm not going to waste my time fighting you!"

"You're just afraid to fight me, Uzumaki! I'll beat your ass!" Ino taunted, letting go of his jacket and turned away.

"Beat my ass? You coming onto me, Ino-chan?" Naruto teased, and grinned winningly.

Ino paused in mid-step. "Team 10's training grounds, or I'll tell Sai you want to take a bath with him." She started down the street, hips sashaying almost mockingly.

Naruto grimaced at the threat before raising an eyebrow at the blond kunoichi's backside. Sliding his hands into his pockets, he pursed his lips in thought. "She does have a nice ass, I'll give her that," he muttered to himself before stepping to follow.

* * *

Next Time: Chapter 1 - The Mind Is A Dangerous Tool  
Naruto and Ino's fight results in a dire circumstance.

A/N: Hey, another one! So, hopefully this short prologue has sorta filled you all in as to some of what's happened. Naruto and Ino are around 22 years old, both are Jounin and though Naruto has grown physically, he's still rather immature.

Spring Country/Snow Country is from the first Naruto movie.


	2. Chapter 1: The Mind Is A Dangerous Tool

Ino bent over, stretching to touch her toes, ponytail falling across her neck.

Naruto cracked his neck. "So how're we doing this, cause if it's anything goes, you don't stand a chance." He grinned broadly.

Arching her back, Ino rolled her eyes. "You've got bad luck, Uzumaki. I'm having a horrible day, and taking it out on you is gonna feel sooo good." She cracked her knuckles in response to his neck.

"You know," Naruto started, and unzipped his Jounin jacket, letting it slide off his arms and fall to the ground. He was wearing a skin tight black t-shirt, an orange swirl, his Uzumaki symbol, on the back. A sheathed katana hung from a strap, resting across the small of his back. "I think this is the first time you and I have actually fought like this."

"I suppose that makes this a special occasion," Ino replied sarcastically.

"Naw, shouldn't be too special, considering how easy I'm gonna beat you," Naruto countered, stretching his legs. "You're gonna be so scared of breaking a nail after all."

"The only thing I'm gonna break is your face," Ino growled.

Naruto chuckled. "I'll tell you what. I won't even use Kage Bushin. Give you some kind of a fighting chance. Not much though."

He stood to his full height and Ino again couldn't help but marvel at all the changes the Jinchu-riki had gone through.

'If only he wasn't such an annoying idiot,' Ino thought as she admired his upper body physique.

Naruto pulled a kunai from his belt, and flipped it into the air. He grabbed it, then flung it at Ino.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind."  
- Mahatma Gandhi

A Mind Bending Inconvenience  
A Naruto Story  
By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place after the Naruto series, after Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren't dead in the Manga at Chapter 356 (when I started this) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic. Thank you for your time and your reviews, they're greatly appreciated! I like to know what you readers are thinking!

P.S. It might get a bit confusing halfway through. You'll understand why, I suppose, and hopefully realize the change that's taken place. If you find yourself getting too confused, go to the A/N at the end of the chapter and it should clear things up.

Thanks kindly to Corwin, my far away friend, for helping again. You're input is greatly appreciated.

Chapter 1 - The Mind Is A Dangerous Tool

* * *

The kunai passed by her cheek, embedding itself deep into a tree behind her, up to its handle. "That was without my wind element."

Ino didn't bat an eye. "So? You're not actually going to use weapons on me. You don't have the balls," she said. "At least, you won't when I'm done with you." She dropped low to the ground and threw three shuriken.

The small weapons flew at him, and he simply sidestepped, allowing them to fly past his chest and face harmlessly. He sighed before tilting his head back, avoiding a fierce uppercut then ducked under a roundhouse kick. Stepping back, Naruto easily avoided another strike at his face.

He lashed out with his foot, hitting Ino in the side and knocking her back.

"Tsk, tsk, Ino-chan." Naruto smiled teasingly. "You really are trying to break my face, aren't you? You're gonna have to try much harder than that."

The kunoichi growled and charged again. Her knuckles brushed the tip of Naruto's nose, forcing him to step back. Free hand moving fast, Ino pulled a kunai from Naruto's belt and up his stomach.

Naruto grabbed her wrist, halting the kunai from disemboweling him. The girl glared up at him and he grinned back. "Much better, Ino-chan!"

"Would you stop calling me that, idiot!" Ino yelled, freeing her wrist and swiping the kunai at Naruto's head.

He stepped back, avoiding the blade before kicking it out of her hand. His chest was kicked in return and as he stumbled, he swatted her leg away. Snorting incredulously, Naruto rubbed at his chest.

"Not so untouchable now, Naruto-kun!" Ino barked mockingly

He grinned mischievously at his opponent. "That your best shot? Hinata's hit me harder than that!" he retorted.

Ino responded by pulling out four more shuriken, two in each hand. She reared back, preparing to throw.

Shaking his head at the move, Naruto reached behind his back, unsheathing a pure white katana. "Come on now, Ino-chan, if there's one thing I'm good at outside of ninjutsu, it's using and countering weaponry." A thin film of wind surrounded the blade. He raised it and pointed the tip at the on-guard kunoichi.

Ino paused at the sight of the wind covered katana. It reminded her immediately of her first sensei, Asuma Sarutobi. It only made sense; Shikamaru had told her years ago that Asuma was the one that had taught Naruto about using his wind element in such a manner.

"You gonna use your Atsuta against cute, little me?" Ino mocked, fingers tensing around her shuriken. "Don't you think that's a bit much?" she joked.

Naruto's had named his white katana Atsuta soon after receiving it. He refused to tell anyone who had given it to him, and for that reason, no one appreciated it as anything other than a katana that was white. No one had seen Naruto do anything amazing with it, so no one believed it was anything special.

"Of course not. Only for defense," Naruto replied and the wind around the blade grew fiercer. "Were I to use Atsuta otherwise, you'd end up dead, Ino-chan. . ." He frowned when she shook her head in disbelief and laughed. "You sure you don't want to give up?"

To Naruto's surprise, a slim bit of wind surrounded her shuriken. "No, I'm still pissed off and your cockiness isn't making it any better," Ino grumbled before throwing the four stars.

Naruto easily swat them away with the side of Atsuta. He crouched low as Ino appeared behind him, and kicked over his back. Rolling forward, he avoided her leg as it dropped down. Two kunai stabbed into the ground behind him as he flipped back to his feet and he spun around, just in time to deflect another with his Atsuta.

"Not bad, Yamanaka, but still not good enough. Wind against wind does nothing, you should know that."

"By the end of this fight, I'll have you punching your own nuts, Uzumaki!" Ino shot back, clenching her fists.

Naruto tapped the side of his forehead with his free hand. "I'm not gonna be letting you use your mind tricks on me."

"We'll see about that," Ino stated and leapt into the air.

Naruto jumped back, automatically and easily sheathed his Atsuta. He didn't want to accidently cut the girl in half. A kunai embedded into the ground at his feet and he blinked as Ino's hands landed on his shoulders. Glancing up, Naruto looked right into Ino's pale blue eyes.

'Shit,' he thought before a force slammed into his brain. It felt like a ton of bricks, and he found himself falling, back slamming into the ground. He grunted as Ino's body collapsed onto his, her knees driving into his stomach. Naruto's eyes opened just in time to see her forehead smash into his.

'Ino, get out!'

'What's the matter, Naruto-kun? I thought you said you weren't going to let me playing any mind tricks on you!'

'This isn't a joke, Ino, I don't want you in here! Get out!'

'Make me!'

'You can't be here! I'm serious, Ino! GET OUT!'

'Forfeit and I will!'

'No! Just get. . . out. . . NOW!'

To anyone that happened to pass by, which, bechance, was no one, the two appeared like lovers, fallen asleep together in the middle of the grass. Ino's head lay nestled in the crook of Naruto's shoulder, her knees having slid off and rested on either side of his hips. Dainty hands clung to his shoulders, and his face was buried in her ponytail.

On the inside it wasn't so sweet. The two minds wrestled with one another inside Naruto's, pushing and pulling, screaming mental obscenities only they could hear. Under Ino's hair, Naruto's face cringed, forehead furrowed. His head shook wildly as if suffering through some form of brutal torture, and his chest jerked upward.

And then he stilled, only the shallow rise and fall of their chests relayed the fact that they were still among the living.

She sat up slowly, groaning in a very unladylike manner. Weakly, her hand moved to her forehead, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "Ugh. . . can't believe I fell for that move," she muttered and glanced down . . .

Only to see herself. Or rather, who she should be. "What the fu-"

"Urgh," he mumbled and exhaled deeply. "That didn't go as well as I hoped." He looked up and saw himself, staring at his hands.

"Why are my hands so small?" she whispered. "Why are my hands so small? This isn't my voice. . . What the hell is going on?" She looked down at him. "What the hell did you do! Why do you look like me! Why am I different!"

"Wha-what?" he asked, baffled by seeing himself, leaning over him. "Am I seeing double or something? And wasn't I on top?"

"What did you do!" She grabbed his collar, shaking him roughly. "What the hell did you do! Why do I have breasts!"

His head hit the ground and he winced. "Would you stop it! Stop!" he shouted, catching hold of her arms and stopping her. "God! Would you change out of that henge, Naruto, it's weird looking at myself."

"I'm. . . not. . . IN A HENGE!" Naruto screamed furiously and stood up, albeit awkwardly, unused to her new body; Ino's body. "What did you do, Ino!"

"What're you talking about? Is this one of your stupid pranks?" Ino asked, sitting up and rubbing his forehead. He groaned softy. "And why does my head feel like shit?"

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. . ." Naruto repeated, hands on her head. "I'm in your body, and you're in mine. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God."

Ino looked at his hands, noticing for the first time how much larger they were. "Ugh, my hands are so ugly and dirty!" he exclaimed. "What'd you do to them!"

"Hey! Those are my hands you're talking about!" Naruto shouted, putting her hands on her hips.

"What? What're you talking about? What the hell is going on?" Ino demanded, glaring up at his real body.

"Oh my God, Ino! Listen to me!" Naruto exclaimed and reached down to grab Ino's broad shoulders. "You switched us! You're in my body! I'm in yours!" She shook him. "Look at me! I'm in your body!"

Ino grabbed Naruto's arms, stopping her.

"Look at yourself, Ino. You. Are in. My body." Naruto stated as calmly as she could.

Looking down, Ino's eyes widened at the sight of Naruto's black shirt and muscular chest. He jumped to his feet, releasing Naruto's arms, shocked and even more confused than before. "Where. . . are my breasts?"

"You mean THESE!" Naruto shouted, pointing at her chest. She grabbed them and squeezed. "They feel weird!" she complained bitterly.

Ino slapped her hands away. "Don't touch my chest!" He tried to grab her wrists but missed, fingers clenching around one of Naruto's breasts.

Naruto gaped at him.

He mashed it in his palm, not quite realizing what he was doing. "So weird. . ."

Blinking in realization, Naruto pushed away her body's rough hand. "Ow! Ow! Stop! What the hell! Just. . . change us back! And quick, this is too weird. I don't feel right at all." Her hand started toward her crotch but stopped at seeing Ino, with her very own eyes, glare furiously at her. She grinned nervously and raised her arms away from her body. "Sorry, sorry. . . no more touching. It's just. . ."

"What?" Ino growled.

"It's not there. . ." Naruto whispered urgently, fearfully, then glared back at Ino who was looking down at her own crotch in wonder.

"You mean. . ." Ino muttered, and his hand started downward. "I think I feel it."

Naruto smacked his hand away. "No more touching. Change us back. Right now," she growled.

Ino raised his hands placidly. "Alright, alright, just. . . calm down, Naruto and let me try."

"Try? Try? What do you mean, 'try'? There will be no 'trying', there will be doing! And you will be doing it! With me! Now!" the irate blonde woman demanded. She paused to think over her words before waving her arms frantically. "Not like that! Just fix this!"

"All right, all right!" Ino shouted, throwing his arms up, exasperated. "You think this is any easier for me?"

"Don't care, just fix this," Naruto ordered. "And then we'll never speak of this again."

"Ok," Ino nodded, shaggy hair shaking. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Naruto closed her eyes and waited.

His eyes opened slowly. . . only to still be looking at himself. "It didn't work," Ino muttered in disbelief. "Why didn't it work?"

Naruto opened her eyes. She inhaled deeply, and cracked her neck, growing angry. "Why didn't it work, Ino? Why am I still like this?" she asked, motioning to her body. She was finally starting to feel the effects of the switch. The weight on her chest from her breasts, the curves of her hips, the different muscles throughout her body. How light her arms felt compared to when she was male.

She made a fist and wondered at how small her hands had become compared to her previous ones. It was all way too weird.

He was a she. Far from any of her henge's, or Sexy-No-Jutsu this was completely real. She was a she.

Ino rubbed his forehead, trying to think. The Mind-Body Switch Jutsu hadn't worked and he didn't understand why. He should be back in his body, not still lost in Naruto's larger, muscular one. He felt out of place.

His arms felt too heavy, his chest too light. He was taller, and the shaggy, darker hair kept obstructing his sight. How did Naruto manage to fight with his hair constantly hanging in the way? He pursed his lips, tempted to find out what else was different when Naruto's lithe voice cut him off.

"So?"

"Is that what I really sound like?"

Naruto clenched her fists. "Yes, this is what you sound like. Annoying! Shrill! Brain tearing out of your head, melting out of your ears!" she cried. "Why can't you fix this!"

"You're in my body," Ino replied.

Naruto's shoulders slumped, baffled. "We've acknowledged that, Ino. Why can't you switch us back?"

"No, stupid! You're in my body!" Ino retorted, incredulous. "My body, my bloodline. My bloodline, my body. They go together. Get it? Since you're in my body, you have my bloodline."

Naruto sighed in relief. "Then all I have to do is use your Jutsu and switch us back," she replied, smiling happily.

Ino didn't respond, instead choosing to frown.

"What? What's wrong?"

"It took me three years to learn just the basics of the Mind-Body Switch Jutsu," Ino explained.

Naruto's pale blue eyes widened. "Th-three years?" she whimpered. She shook her head. "No problem! No problem! I'll just make a ton of Kage Bushin's and learn the Jutsu quick!" She snapped her fingers then blinked and admired them. "Cool snap."

"And what're we gonna do until then, huh? We need to sit down and think this out," Ino reasoned, scratching his head before brushing hair out of his face.

"It's not a problem! I'll learn your Jutsu in a matter of hours!" Naruto exclaimed and without a word, two Ino looking Kage Bushin appeared beside her. She blinked at them, and they blinked back. "What the hell?"

"What?" Ino asked, confused and surprised at suddenly seeing three of himself. And yet he wasn't himself.

"There should be more," Naruto explained. "I was trying to make more. There should be at least a hundred!" She turned on her clones, pointing accusingly. "Why are there only two of you!"

The clones stepped back and shrugged. "Don't ask us," they replied.

"Only two," Naruto muttered to herself. "Only two. . . why only two?"

"You don't have the stamina and chakra."

Naruto looked at Ino, stuck in her real body. "Huh?"

"You're in my body now, Naruto. My body doesn't have the stamina or chakra that yours does. Those two clones are. . . my max. . ." Ino explained sheepishly.

"Two? Two clones? Your max?" Naruto whispered, and glanced around, as if searching for an answer on the ground. The two clones behind her exploded into smoke, gone. "Only two. . . that'll take me forever. . ."

"We are in biiiiiiiiiiiig trouble," Ino mumbled, covering his face with his hands.

"Why're you so damn weak, Ino!" Naruto suddenly shouted and blew the hair out of her face in frustration. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault!"

"I told you to get out of my head! Look what happened!"

Ino marched up to Naruto, towering over his original body. "You still want to fight? This is your fault for trying to force me out of your head like you did!"

"Ugh!" Naruto threw her arms up, nearly smacking Ino in the face. She grimaced as her breasts jiggled uncomfortably under her shirt. "Ugh!" Her hands grabbed them, stilling them.

"Ahem. . ."

"What!" Naruto snapped, glaring up at Ino.

"Let go of the breasts. . ." Ino growled.

"Why, so you can feel me up again?" Naruto asked britterly. She removed her hands none-the-less. "You know what we have to do."

"What?"

"We have to talk to your dad."

Ino's eyes widened. "Are you NUTS?" he yelled, stepping back. "He'd kill us both! Especially you!"

"Why me? This is your fault!"

"Because you're in my body, idiot! You're. . . you're. . . in it! He'll consider you defiling my body just by being in it and he'll kill you for it! You don't know how much trouble that would be. He'd never let me use the family Jutsu's again."

"But, won't he have some reversal Jutsu? He can go into my mind and pull me out and put you in or something?" Naruto asked, eyes hopeful.

Ino shook his head, shaggy hair waving. "I don't know. If he can, he's never told me about it. He never told me that this type of situation was possible either." He scratched under his headband. "So either, we go there, and he can help us and he kills us, or we go there and he can't help us and he kills us."

Naruto pursed her lips. "Hmm."

"What?"

"Cherry lip gloss?"

Ino smacked his forehead. "How about Tsunade-sama? We can go to her-"

"No!" Naruto cut in. "No, no, no! Too embarrassing! No way!"

"If we can get her to understand, then this could be a whole lot easier," Ino explained. "Lets go, Naruto."

Naruto grabbed Ino's muscular arm. "No, no, no!"

"All we have to do is get to Hokage's tower. Shouldn't be too hard." Ino tugged, nearly pulling Naruto off her feet. "Don't worry, I'm sure Tsunade-sama will be able to help us."

Naruto shook her head forcefully, ponytail wagging. "Please, no! She'll never let me live this down!"

Ino ignored her, marching away from the training grounds. He had to admit he enjoyed the fact that he was strong enough to pull Naruto along. His real body was clinging to his arm, digging her heels into the dirt. The woman trapped in Naruto's body grinned.

"What're you smiling about!" Naruto shouted, and tugged on his arm. "This isn't funny!"

"Aw, what's the matter, Naruto-chan, don't like being all small and weak?" Ino teased.

Naruto stamped her foot. "Not at all, Ino-kun!" she retorted, sneering. "So manly, Ino-kun, with your broad chest and muscular arms! I think I see nose hairs, and is that bad smell coming from you?"

Ino stopped, and Naruto grinned. "Look at all that dirt under your fingernails!" she added.

"Uh. . ."

Blinking, Naruto looked up at his face suspiciously. "Uh what?"

"I need to go to the bathroom."

"Oh no! No, no, no, no, NO! No way! You are holding it! Holding it!" Naruto demanded, poking Ino's broad chest with her slim finger. "Don't you even think about it."

Ino blushed, embarrassed, and Naruto gaped at the sight of himself looking so red. "Don't do that either!" she shouted, pointing at Ino's burning cheeks.

"It's building up, alright!" Ino replied, squeezing his legs together.

"Can't you hold it!"

"I'm not used to your body! It's feels all different down there!"

"That's because that's my THING down there!" Naruto exclaimed, motioning to Ino's crotch. "And I don't want you going near it!"

Ino stuck his tongue out. "Ashamed, Naruto?"

She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Hardly. I'm rather proud of what I've got . . . you've got. My body's got."

"Then you shouldn't worry about me going to the bathroom," Ino replied, and winked.

"You'll burn it off by touching it, or something!" Naruto snorted. "Besides, you don't even know how to use it!"

"Can't be that hard. Aim and shoot, right?" Ino grinned wide, and Naruto stared at him for a moment. "It's not like yours will be the first one I've ever seen, Naruto-chan."

Naruto ignored the barb, instead letting her eyes widened and she slowly glanced down at her own crotch. "Ow!" she uttered as Ino smacked the back of her head.

"I'm still a virgin, thank you very much," Ino muttered angrily, crossing his arms over his chest.

Naruto sighed in pure relief.

Glaring, Ino started back toward downtown Konoha. "That's it. I'm going to the bathroom."

"Just go in the forest!" Naruto cried. "It'll be less awkward!"

"Less awkward for you, maybe, but I'm not going out here."

Naruto jumped in front of Ino, pointing a finger up at his face. "Just you wait until I have to go to the bathroom! Then you'll know how I feel!"

Ino paused, and brushed the hand away from his face, glaring down at her. "Well. . . until then, I'm going to the bathroom."

Naruto grumbled.

"Huh, I never realized. . ."

"Realized what?" Naruto asked.

"How cute I am when I'm mad," Ino replied and smiled teasingly.

Hanging her head to hide her burning cheeks, Naruto let out an audible growl. "Don't even, Ino. Lets just get this over with. And give me my katana," she demanded, pulling Atsuta off of Ino and quickly strapped it to herself.

"Don't you think people will think it's strange that I'm carrying around Atsuta?" Ino asked.

"Don't care, I'm not letting you handle my Atsuta," Naruto replied and adjusted the weapon across the small of her back.

"Protective much? It's not like it's that great of a katana."

"Lets just go," Naruto muttered.

Nodding his head, Ino and Naruto, the two mentally switched humans, made their way back into Konoha.

"Would you stop walking like such a girl?"

"I am one."

"Not in my body you're not!"

* * *

Naruto paced back and forth, frustration clear on her face. She continuously tripped over her own feet, still trying to adjust to Ino's legs and shoes. Her hands clutched desperately at her hair, and though overwhelmed by her frazzled nerves, she couldn't help but marvel at how soft it felt against her small fingers. "How does she keep it so nice?" she muttered, tugging lightly on her ponytail.

A few men passing by stopped to stare at her.

Naruto blinked, then eyed them dangerously. "What're you looking at, huh?" she growled, lifting a small, clenched fist.

The men hurried away, fearful of the beautiful, yet psycho looking kunoichi.

Ino had been in the mens restroom for over ten minutes. What guy took ten minutes to piss? Originally Ino had walked into the women's side of the public restroom, not even thinking about his body. He was chased out by an angry mob of women.

Naruto had buried her face in her hands, dismayed. Her image was being tarnished by Ino's lack of thinking. Now everyone thought Naruto Uzumaki was a restroom pervert. She had given Ino a light push in the right direction, toward the mens room.

Inhaling deeply, Naruto tried to calm herself. This was taking too damn long. People were starting to stare at her, and a few guys even looked like they wanted to come up and try their luck. If they did, she planned on hitting back with her fists. She exhaled and glared at them all, crossing her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

It had been over thirty minutes since the change, and Naruto wasn't feeling any less uncomfortable. Her breasts were hot, and felt restricted under her shirt. She did have to admit that her panties, though not as loose as her usual boxers, were very snug and comfortable. At the same time, they were a constant reminder that she was missing something down below and everything was not right.

Her hands fell to her hips and she squeezed them. Glancing left, then right to see if anyone was watching, she slowly slid her hands toward her inner thighs.

The mens room door opened and Ino stepped out. He blinked at the sight of Naruto, arms raised in the air, trying to look innocent. "What were you doing?" he asked.

"What was I doing? What the hell were you doing!" Naruto shot back, hands on her hips. "Take long enough?"

"Well excuse me, but I don't know mens bathrooms like I do a women's. It was so dirty in there, I had to clean off the toilet before I could use," Ino replied, grumpy at how hard it had been.

"Why didn't you just use a urinal?" Naruto growled quietly.

"Because I don't know how to use one of those," Ino countered knowingly.

"What happened to aim and shoot! Aim and shoot!" Naruto shouted.

"It's not that easy!"

"Yes it is! All you do is aim and shoot!"

"Well, too late now." Ino shrugged and started down the street, forcing Naruto to catch up. "And by the way, I have to say, you have a really nice one."

Naruto smacked her face, blushing brightly. "This is SO not right. . ." she muttered under her breath before regaining herself and grinning wide up at Ino. "You know, I think I need to go to the bathroom now myself."

Ino stopped and turned to his real body. "You don't," he stated and grabbed Naruto's wrist, pulling her toward the Hokage's tower. "Come on, we're almost there."

* * *

Tsunade was having a good day. Well, after getting rid of Naruto it had become a good day. Things had quieted, it was a beautiful day, and there was very little paper work to deal with. Sakura and Shizune were taking care of all the problems at the hospital, leaving her alone and with the free time to enjoy a nice bottle of sake.

The Godaime Hokage sighed, and sipped from her cup, enjoying the silence. Her doors burst open, and the cup jumped from her fingers, sake spilling down her front, into her cleavage. Left eye twitching, Tsunade gripped the edge of her desk, cracking it.

"Naruto," she hissed as he stormed into the room, dragging Ino behind him. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Do it, Naruto," the jinchu-riki stated, turning to look back at Ino.

Meekly, the girl stepped forward from behind Naruto and Tsunade's eyes narrowed, watching the two suspiciously. "Ino, why do you have Atsuta?"

"Ah. . . Tsunade-baa-chan. . ." the blonde girl started. "We have a problem."

* * *

Next Time: Chapter 2 - Troublesome Friends and Family  
Now switched and with Tsunade's advice, Naruto and Ino must hide the truth from all their friends and family.

A/N: All right, much longer than the Prologue. I wrote this in a matter of 2 days, so yay for that. Hopefully this wasn't TOO confusing. Naruto is in Ino's body, Ino is in Naruto's body. Every 'she, her, hers' is referring to Naruto, every 'he, him, his' is referring to Ino. For example:

Ino looked at his hands, noticing for the first time how much larger they were. "Ugh, my hands are so ugly and dirty!" he exclaimed. "What'd you do to them!"

"Hey! Those are my hands you're talking about!" Naruto shouted, putting her hands on her hips.

Ino, in Naruto's body is looking at his hands. Naruto, in Ino's body, is putting her hands on her hips.

The Tsunade scene at the end, it's from Tsunade's POV, so she's seeing Naruto as Naruto and Ino as Ino when that's not the case. Honestly, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it myself and I wrote it. I hope if you were confused, you made it to this.

A/N and it cleared things up. Review and let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 2: Troublesome Friends & Family

Tsunade rubbed her temples, hoping to make the headache go away. This was utterly unbelievable. They had described the fight to her in detail, even up to the inner mind battle and right up to the switch. How it was even possible was beyond the Hokage but just the fact that the two had managed to switch bodies like they did made her head hurt. It almost didn't surprise her, since Naruto was involved.

"So you think that, because Naruto tried to force you out as hard as he did, that he somehow forced himself out of his body, and into yours?" Tsunade repeated.

Ino nodded glumly. "Yes, Hokage-sama. What should we do?"

Sighing loudly, Tsunade scratched at her forehead, thinking. "Well. . . you can't go talk to Inoichi about this. He'd kill you both and we can't be having that."

Ino stuck his tongue out at Naruto. She ignored him, focused on something else.

"Henge's are out of the question since we're going to try and hide this," Tsunade added. "Sasuke and Kakashi would see right through it, along with a number of other high level ninja around Konoha and they'd all wonder why Ino is henged to look like Naruto and vice versa and Naruto if you don't stop staring at my cleavage. . ."

Naruto's eyes snapped up to Tsunade's face, and she blushed heavily. "Sorry, sorry."

It was unnerving to Tsunade, having what looked like Ino stare at her cleavage in such a lewd manner.

"Until this is fixed, if you two want to hide this from people, you're going to have to play the part. Naruto, you'll have to act like Ino, and Ino, you'll have to act like Naruto, as best you to can."

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous."  
- Alfred Adler

A Mind Bending Inconvenience  
A Naruto Story  
By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place after the Naruto series, after Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren't dead in the Manga at Chapter 356 (when I started this) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic. Thank you for your time and your reviews, they mean a lot.

Thanks kindly to Corwin, my far away friend, for helping again. You're input is greatly appreciated.

Chapter 2 - Troublesome Friends and Family

* * *

"I don't wanna act like Ino!" Naruto shouted and stomped her foot. "She's such a stuck up, annoying. . . loud. . . and. . ."

"And what?" Ino asked, glaring down at Naruto.

"And UGLY!" Naruto exclaimed and made a face of revolt.

Tsunade interrupted, "There are many reasons why you now have to act like Ino, Naruto, one being that if any of our enemies realize you're stuck in Ino's body, and Ino is in yours, they could try to take you both out, and they would most likely succeed."

Naruto pouted, and crossed her arms under her breasts, bumping them up purposely to make them appear larger. She laughed quietly to herself at the thought of Ino's breasts suddenly getting bigger.

Ino eyed her suspiciously.

"So, while you two are TRYING to act like one another. . . I'll have Shizune look into the Hokage's library for anything about your. . . type of situation. Naruto will ask Inoichi, pretending to be you, Ino, about this as well. Can you handle that, Naruto?"

Naruto gave Tsunade a thumbs up, and grinned winningly. "No prob, Tsunade-baa-chan!" she crowed.

"I think I should go with him. . . her. . . Naruto, Hokage-sama. Just to make sure he. . . uh, Naruto doesn't screw up," Ino explained, scrunching his forehead in thought.

Tsunade shook her head. "No, that'd be too suspicious. Naruto has to do this on her. . . his own."

Naruto posed sexily, sashaying her hair. "With this body, I can convince any guy to do whatever I want," she stated, and pumped her hips from side to side before winking coyly.

"We're talking about my DAD, you idiot!" Ino exclaimed, and smacked Naruto upside the head. "That's disgusting!"

Naruto grumbled under her breath, "Don't have to hit me. . . you're only beating up yourself."

"Naruto," Tsunade started, catching the girls attention. "Find out what you can from Inoichi without giving yourself away. And don't hit on her dad."

Naruto nodded.

"And give Ino Atsuta."

"What!" Naruto protested, grabbing her katana and clutched between her breasts. "I'm not giving Ino Atsuta!"

"We have to retain the image that Ino is you, and you are Ino, and you carrying around Atsuta would raise too many eyebrows," Tsunade explained calmly. "Meanwhile, if we can't get this fixed within the next three days, I'll be giving your S-Rank mission to someone else."

"No! Don't do that!" Naruto objected, slamming her palm down on Tsunade's desk. "I want that mission! It was given specifically to me!"

"Well you can't go in Ino's body, Naruto, it just wouldn't work. You'd be putting yourself, and Ino's body in extreme danger."

Naruto growled and turned her head to glare at Ino. "You and I are fixing this as fast as possible."

"I couldn't agree more," Ino replied, nodding his head.

"Then we're all settled here," Tsunade stated. "As of this moment, your mission is to find a way, and to return to your original bodies."

The two nodded simultaneously.

"Good, then get the hell out of here," the Hokage muttered, and returned to rubbing her forehead.

Naruto punched a fist into her palm. "All right then, lets get to work!" She turned to Ino, looking up at him expectantly. "Which way to your house?"

Ino smacked his forehead. "You've got to be kidding me. . . we're never gonna pull this off," he muttered.

"Naruto."

She turned to look at Tsunade.

"Atsuta. Ino. Now," the Hokage stated before throwing a sake cup into Naruto's forehead. "And stop staring at my chest!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

"You realize I'm never going to let you live this down, right?" Tsunade stated blandly.

Naruto blinked and turned away. Angrily, she pulled Atsuta from her shoulder and handed it to Ino. "Come on, the sooner we get to your house, the sooner we'll be back to normal."

Ino sighed loudly, his broad shoulders slumping in defeat. "Try not to make me look like too much of an idiot, Naruto."

"I guarantee nothing."

"Did you have to stare at Tsunade-sama like that?" Ino growled once outside of the Hokage's tower.

Naruto shook her head, ponytail waving. "Couldn't help it. She still had sake running down her cleavage. Made me thirsty," she muttered with a faraway look in her eyes. "I want some ramen." She turned and started in another direction.

"Hey, we're supposed to be going to my house!" Ino shouted. "Your house! The house!"

"To talk to your dad, my dad, the dad, yeah, yeah," Naruto replied, rolling her eyes. "We'll take care of that after I get some pork and egg ramen in my stomach."

"I refuse," Ino declared firmly, moving to stand in Naruto's way. "I don't want you polluting my body with your disgusting ramen." He tried to grab Naruto's wrist, but she skipped out of his reach.

"Yeah, well I refuse your refuse, so there," Naruto sung and stuck out her tongue.

"You really think I'm going to let you eat ramen with my body?" Ino asked, and puffed up his chest, trying to look intimidating.

Naruto paused for a second before grinning. "I think I suddenly have to go to the bathroom."

"All right, to Ichiraku's it is."

Naruto hopped onto the stool and slid right off. "Ack!" She fell to the ground, surprised. "Stupid rounder butt," she muttered and climbed back up.

"One extra large bowl of pork and egg ramen, old man!" she exclaimed, and slammed her hand down on the counter with a passion.

Ino sat down beside her, much smoother, shaking his head. He sighed once again, looking exhausted and beat.

Teuchi blinked at Naruto, lifting his ladle to his shoulder. "Yamanaka-san, you want a bowl of ramen? You never come by here, what's the occasion?"

"There never needs to be an occasion for ramen!" Naruto shouted, and Ino grit his teeth.

Teuchi laughed. "Glad to see you're coming around. What'll you have, Naruto?" he asked Ino.

Ino made a face of disgust. "Ew, I don't want any ramen."

Teuchi and Naruto froze, and Ino swore she could hear the old mans heart shatter inside his chest.

"Uh. . . what I meant to say was. . . no ramen for me today," Ino stuttered quickly, before laughing nervously. He punched himself in the side of the head. "You know me, all stupid and stuff."

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed indignantly.

Teuchi exhaled, and smiled. "You scared me for a second there, Naruto."

"Yeah, Naruto. Also that's. . ." she paused before gritting her teeth. "Not true. You're very smart, and cool! I don't know how many times you've saved Konoha, but you're amazing!" she exclaimed with gusto and smiled brightly.

Eyeing the two, Teuchi smiled somewhat knowingly. "Indeed he is, Yamanaka-san."

Naruto grinned at the old man. "Call me Ino," she replied.

"All right then, one extra large bowl of pork and egg ramen coming up!" Teuchi announced and turned back to his pots.

"Nice job at being me," Naruto drawled sarcastically.

"You too," Ino replied, rolling his eyes. "'Very smart and cool', give me a break. As if I'd ever say that about you."

Naruto smiled broadly. "Too bad you just did."

"Unbelievable," Ino muttered, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand.

"What is, Naruto?" Teuchi asked as he slid the ramen bowl in front of Naruto who he believed was Ino.

"Uh, nothing, Teuchi-san," Ino said, shaking his head.

Teuchi's eyes narrowed. "Are you okay, Naruto? You're acting. . . very unlike yourself."

Naruto looked up from her bowl of ramen, noodles hanging sloppily from her lips. Her eyes widened.

Ino laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair, messing it even more. "Yeah, I'm okay. Kinda feeling under the weather, I suppose."

Teuchi frowned. "Well then you should have some of our special vitamin ramen. Good for the body after all!"

Naruto slurped up the noodles, and burped heartily. She grinned wide at Ino who was scrunching his face up in disgust.

Teuchi laughed heartily. "I think Naruto's rubbing off on you, Ino-san."

"He only wishes he could rub off on this!" Naruto exclaimed and smiled brilliantly before turning back to her ramen.

Teuchi and Ino stared at Naruto, shocked. She blinked at them. "What?"

Ino grabbed Naruto's ponytail, yanking her from her stool. "Come with me. Now," he growled.

"Ow! Ow! Not so hard!" Naruto whined, and she reached out for her bowl of ramen. "Ramen! I'll come back for you!"

A safe distance away from Teuchi, Ino stopped. "Alright, 'Ino'," he bit out through grit teeth, "you need to get your act together."

"Did you have to pull so hard?" Naruto complained, petting her ponytail as it lay over her shoulder. "Ow. . ."

"You're really starting to piss me off with your stupidity," Ino whispered, glaring fiercely. "You're making me look like a slut."

"Like you're doing any better at being me?" Naruto retorted, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm not good at playing an idiot," Ino drawled bluntly, hands on his hips.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not good at playing a bitch."

Then came the slap heard around the World. Well, Konoha at least. It was loud and hard, and to the people on the street, it appeared that Naruto Uzumaki had slapped Ino Yamanaka soundly across the face.

Naruto's head reared back, her cheek red. Slowly, she raised her hand and softly touched it. She hissed from the sting.

"Oh my God. . ." Ino inhaled deeply, realizing too late what he had just done. Everyone would think that Naruto had just slapped her. "I'm so sorry. . ."

"You did not just do that. . ." Naruto muttered under her breath. "You stupid-!"

"I didn't-" Ino stopped, noticing at once that his body wouldn't move. He tried to lift his arms, but they stayed firmly in place. "What?"

Nara Shikamaru stood a few yards behind, shadow clinging to Ino's. He glared and crossed his arms, Ino following suit.

"That's just great," Naruto grumbled to herself and stepped forward, covering her cheek protectively. She'd been slapped as a guy by some angry dates, but this one hurt a lot more, her own hand being heavier and stronger. She hoped it didn't bruise.

"Uzumaki, I'd like to ask you what you think you just did before I make you slit your own throat," Shikamaru stated, deadly serious.

Naruto blinked at that. Shikamaru never referred to her by her last name.

Ino's eyes widened at the threat. "It's not what you think, Shikmaru!" He tried to turn his head and look at the furious Jounin but failed to move an inch.

The shadow wielder's eyes narrowed even further. "And what exactly is it?"

Naruto moved in-between Shikamaru and Ino. She calmly placed her hands on the pineapple haired boys shoulders and looked up into his glaring eyes.

Shikamaru glanced down at her, confused and worried. He let his arms dropped to his sides, unsure of what to do with them. "You okay, Ino?"

Naruto nodded and her eyes narrowed. "I'm fine, Shikamaru, now let him go," she ordered and pushed him back a step.

"But-"

"He was doing me a favor, idiot," Naruto barked and stomped back over to Ino. "I asked him to slap me."

"You asked him. . ." Shikamaru muttered, now even more confused, but slowly his shadow pulled away from Ino's. "Why would you ask him to slap you?"

"Because I wanted him to!" Naruto shouted, fists clenched at her hips. "Is that good enough for you? Don't butt into my business, pineapple head!"

Snorting, Shikamaru shook his head, now annoyed at who he believed was Ino. "Don't even know why I bothered," he muttered under his breath.

Naruto sighed and shook her head. "Sorry, Shikamaru, I didn't mean to take it out on you like that. I appreciate you wanting to kill . . . Naruto for me, but I don't want that."

"Are you sure?" Shikamaru asked, eyeing Ino darkly. "You better not do anything like this again, Naruto."

Ino shook his head. "Of. . . of course not! I was just doing what Ino asked," he replied, scratching the back of his head. He laughed as stupidly as he could.

Naruto rolled her eyes at Ino's horrible acting. She turned to her real body, glaring at it and the person trapped inside. "Just let me take care of him, Shikamaru," she growled and reached up to grab Ino's hair.

"Ow!" Ino cried as he was pulled away.

"We're gonna talk about this later, Ino," Shikamaru called after them.

Naruto ignored him, leading Ino to a more private area. She let go of his hair, steaming mad, chest heaving and she hated how it felt. With an angry breath, she blew the hair out of her face, though it fall back over her eye a second later.

Ino laughed nervously, watching the ground with interest. "Never thought I'd feel like saying this, but thanks for the save, Naruto. You really started acting like me there for a second."

Naruto didn't share her humor. "I didn't do that for you, Ino. I did that to save my own ass. That's my body you just used to slap yourself." She paused to let that sink in. "I've been trying really hard for years to get people around here to notice and like me and I have enough problems that I don't need you making me look like I beat women added to them," she explained through her anger.

"Look, I'm really-"

"I don't care," Naruto stated, raising a hand to Ino's face. "Lets just get to your house so I can talk to your dad and we can change back to normal."

"Yeah, things will be better when we switch back," Ino agreed, smiling slightly in relief.

"Cause then I'll have nothing to do with you or your body," Naruto added. She was furious at so many things, that she felt ready to burst and looking at Ino in her real body didn't help. "That'll make things a lot better."

Ino nodded. "Yeah, we'll do that. . ." he muttered, hanging his head, hair shielding his eyes. "Come on, lets get to my house." He start off again, quiet for once.

Exhaling deeply, her body shaking, Naruto followed, cheek still burning red.

"Alright, that's my house right there," Ino said, and pointed at the white, two storied building. It was covered in potted flowers, which hung from the windows, and a beautiful rose garden in the front yard. "In and out, Naruto, in and out."

Naruto glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes. "In and out, Ino? You've only been a guy for an hour and you already have your mind in the gutter," she joked sarcastically.

Ino dead panned. "Ha ha, hilarious." Placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder, he turned her to look at him. "Now there are a few things you need to know before you go in there."

Naruto crossed her arms over her chest, waiting impatiently.

"First: I call my daddy, daddy, and mom, mom," Ino explained.

"You call your dad, 'daddy' and your mom, 'mom'?" Naruto repeated incredulously. "Are you serious? That just sounds gross, calling your dad, 'daddy'. And why don't you call your mom, mommy? How come only your dad is 'daddy' and your mom isn't mommy?"

Ino's teeth clenched. "What does it matter? Just make sure you call him daddy, specially when asking for his help," she growled.

"Daddy. . ." Naruto mumbled. "And you think I'm a pervert."

"I can't wait til we change back so I can kick you in the balls, Naruto."

"Yeah, yeah, anything else I need to know?" Naruto asked, bored.

"My old bedroom is upstairs, second door on your RIGHT. Right side, Naruto," Ino explained.

"Why am I going to your room?"

"Just in case."

Naruto nodded. "Gotcha. How's my cheek?"

"Better, not very red," Ino replied, looking close at the cheek he had just recently slapped. "Sorry again, about that."

Naruto ignored him. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. Try not to screw this up."

Naruto paused. She glanced at the house, seeing Ino's mom step outside and into the garden. The woman noticed them and smiled before giving a brief wave.

"I still guarantee nothing," Naruto stated, grinning wide at Ino's anxiety ridden face. Collecting herself, she determinedly jogged toward Ino's house, smiling brightly. She waved to Ino's mom. "Hi, mom!"

"Hello, Ino-chan, so good of you to visit," Ino's mom replied and stepped up to her daughters body. She wrapped her arms around Naruto, hugging her warmly.

"Ah. . ." Naruto faltered, unused to such affection from complete strangers. She slowly started to wrap her arms around the woman when she broke off the hug.

"Is that Naruto-kun over there?" Ino's mom asked, shielding her eyes from the sun.

"No," Naruto replied quickly, not even looking.

Ino's mom waved at Ino who quickly scrambled out of sight, tripping as he did. Shaking her head, she turned back to Naruto. "He's such an odd boy. What was he doing with you?"

"Ah. . . he walked with me here," Naruto muttered. "He's a good guy," she added.

Ino's mom nodded. "I know that, Ino-chan. He's also very cute," she whispered and winked knowingly.

"Eh?" Naruto exclaimed, and suddenly blushed. "Cute?" she whispered to herself.

Ino's mom looked at Naruto's red face, mistaking her blush for something completely else. "So you agree do you?" she asked, smiling smug.

"Uh. . . well, yeah, he's good looking, definitely," Naruto said, enjoying the fact that she was building up her image. "Really cool too! We all know he kicks butt in battle."

Ino's mom laughed out loud at Naruto's proclamations. "You're not forgetting about Sai, are you, honey?"

"Ew!" Naruto exclaimed. "I mean, uh. . . naw, of course not. Naruto's just a friend, a cool, smart, strong friend that you shouldn't judge."

"You know I don't judge Naruto, Ino-chan," Ino's mom stated and knelt down to deadhead a rose bush.

"I thought you hated me," Naruto breathed, elated that another adult accepted him.

Ino's mom blinked and looked up at her. "What?"

"I thought you hated him," Naruto corrected, eyes wide. "I mean. . . he trashed your rose garden really badly all those years ago," she added, and laughed nervously at the memory. She realized a long time ago how cruel a prank it had been, but had never built up the courage to apologize.

"He was just a silly boy back then, Ino-chan, you know that. He's grown up a lot, as you seem to have noticed," Ino's mom stated.

Naruto shook her head. "Ah, just friends, mom," she replied. "Nothing more."

"Are you sure? He seems to be interested," Ino's mom said.

"Eh? Why do you say that? All he did was walk me here," Naruto asked, and scratched her head in confusion.

"Because he's back," Ino's mom whispered and discreetly pointed down the street.

Naruto snuck a glance, noticing Ino ducking behind a bush at the end of the block. She smacked her forehead. "You've got to be kidding me," she muttered and turned back to Ino's mom.

"It's not like that. Trust me. He's just. . . being odd, like you said. He's an odd, silly boy," Naruto explained and frowned. She didn't like putting herself down.

Ino's mom smiled up at Naruto's frowning face, and clipped a lively red rose from the bush. She stood and held the rose up to Naruto.

Slowly, Naruto reached out and plucked the flower from the older woman's delicate fingers.

Winking, Ino's mom bent down again, returning to the rose bush. "Whatever you say, Ino-chan. Your father is inside, he'll be happy to see you."

Naruto nodded dumbly.

"Unless you want to go and talk to Naruto-kun first," she added.

Shaking her head, ponytail flowing, Naruto stepped up to the front door, opening it. "It's not like that. You don't understand," she muttered and entered the house.

* * *

Inoichi Yamanaka was a loving husband and father. When he first married his wife, he had craved a large family, with many boys to carry on the Yamanaka name and mind bending Jutsu's his family was so famous for. They had been blessed with Ino and only Ino, and though she wasn't one of the many boys he had wanted, he couldn't have been more delighted in her birth.

He and his wife had attempted many times after Ino to get pregnant again, but it never happened. So he doted on her, as she was all that he had to dote on. Though now twenty-two years old, she was still his princess, and he would protect her from anyone who hurt her.

That was why he was so content when Ino had told him that she and the emotionless Sai were dating. The boy was too stupid in the ways of things to hurt Ino badly, or ever do anything perverted to her. Inoichi felt he could trust Sai, to some degree anyway. No boy was fully trustworthy around his daughter.

Being an expert at killing helped to stem the problem of boys knocking on their door. When Ino was younger, many used to come by, wanting to go out, alone, with his only daughter. It had slowed over the years, something he was very happy about. And though his daughter was fully capable of protecting herself, that didn't mean he wouldn't castrate any boy that tried anything.

Sitting behind his large work desk, cluttered with a couple of family scrolls, Inoichi Yamanaka smiled. He might not have had the big family he always wanted, but Ino had definitely made up every bit of what he ever wanted. The door to his office opened slowly, and the focus of his thoughts peeked her head inside, looking frazzled and unnerved. She grinned at him nervously and he smiled pridefully in return.

Standing, Inoichi moved toward his daughter, arms open for a hug. "Ino-chan! To what do we owe this visit? Everything's okay at the apartment, right?" he asked and wrapped Naruto into his arms. "Because if you need to move back home, it's quite alright with your mom and I."

Naruto froze, afraid for her life. "Uh. . ." The rose in her hands pressed against her chest and she winced as a thorn poked her left breast. "No, no, that's not it."

Inoichi leaned away, holding Naruto by her arms. He noticed the rose. "Is that for me?"

"Uh. . . yeah, from, uh, mom," Naruto stuttered. She looked up into Ino's fathers eyes as he gazed down at her fondly.

Inoichi took the flower from Naruto's fingers. "What a sweetie," he said and stepped back, placing the flower on his desk. "So what can I help you with, honey?"

"Er. . . Jutsu. Mind Jutsu's," Naruto replied. "Family Jutsu's," she corrected, and grinned nervously.

Inoichi raised an eyebrow and leaned against his desk. "What do you want to know?"

"Well. . ." Naruto palmed her forehead, trying to figure out what to say. "You know how we're always. . . shooting our minds out of our bodies and going into other people?"

Blinking, Inoichi regarded his only daughter curiously. "Yes. . . that's one way to put it. Is everything okay, Ino-chan?"

"Yeah, yeah! It's all great!" Naruto exclaimed and smiled brightly. "It's just. . . the last time I used my Mind-Switch Jutsu I got worried that, uh, Iwouldswitchbodies," she mumbled and looked away.

"What was that?"

"I got scared that I was going to. . . switch bodies," Naruto repeated and scratched her cheek with her slim pointer finger. She refused to make eye contact.

"Switch bodies, you say?" Inoichi asked then pressed his hand to his mouth in thought. "It has been known to happen on very, very rare occasions. It's not something that can be done on purpose, it's only done by mistake or by accident."

Naruto faked a sigh of relief. "That's good to know," she said and smiled. "If it did happen, how would it be fixed?"

"Well, if it ever DOES happen, we'll deal with it then," Inoichi replied.

"NO!" Naruto shouted, startling Inoichi.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Sorry, sorry, dad. . . dy. . ." Naruto muttered hesitantly. She made a face in disgust. "Please, daddy? What do you think would work?"

Inoichi scratched his head, confused. "Uh. . . I guess just doing the Mind-Switch Jutsu would work, but the main problem would be that since the Mind-Switch is a bloodline-"

"The person in this body would have to preform the Jutsu," Naruto finished, and sighed heavily in defeat. She ran a hand through her hair, getting it tangled in her ponytail. Frowning, she tugged, yanking her head to the side. "Damnit, stupid hair."

Blinking at his daughters antics, Inoichi stepped forward. "Need help?"

"No, no, I got it," Naruto replied and tugged harder. "So the person in this body would have to preform the Jutsu to make the switch back?" She winced as she finally freed her hand.

"Yes, that would be how it would have to be done," Inoichi agreed.

"What about the person in the other body. Rather me, that is. When the person does the Jutsu, and they get put back into their body, what would happen to me? How would I get back to my body?"

"Finding the way back to your body wouldn't be hard, Ino-chan, you've done it so many times before."

Naruto laughed. "Oh yeah, duh."

"Is that why you came by, to ask about the possibility of switching bodies?" Inoichi asked, frowning a little.

"Uh. . . yeah, pretty much. . ." Naruto replied lamely. "Though. . . thinking about it. . . you think I could get a copy of the Mind-Switch Jutsu scroll?"

"Wh-"

"To keep in my apartment," Naruto quickly added, wringing her hands together. "So I can look it over and improve myself."

Inoichi narrowed his eyes. "You know how I am about keeping the family scrolls at this house," he replied. "They aren't things to just be tossed around or used and left on the floor. They're priceless."

Naruto swallowed at Inoichi's suddenly serious demeanor. "Yeah, of-of course, da. . . uh, daddy," she stuttered. "But, uh. . ."

"But what?"

"But I love you?" Naruto asked and smiled sheepishly. "And you uh. . . love me?"

Inoichi's eyes hardened into a glare, and Naruto paled. She nearly passed out when the old man burst into laughter.

"Wha-what's so funny, old man!" Naruto demanded, stomping her foot. She covered her mouth, eyes wide.

Inoichi blinked before breaking down into hysterics again. He slid from his leaning position, placing his hands on his knees as he laughed.

Naruto stood dumbly, watching and waiting until Inoichi stopped and wiped at his eyes.

"It's been so long, I was wondering when you'd finally find the courage to try and talk me into letting you have the family scrolls." He placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "I'm proud of you for it."

Naruto laughed. "Does that mean I can stop calling you daddy?"

"No."

Turning away, Naruto exhaled, her chest falling. She raised a hand and wiped away a small bit of sweat that had started to show.

"I'll tell you what," Inoichi started and Naruto looked back to him. "I'll make you a copy of the scroll, if. . ."

"If?"

"If you stay for dinner," Ino's dad replied and smiled kindly.

"Dinner?" Naruto repeated. "You're gonna make me dinner?"

"Well, your mother and I will be eating too," Inoichi laughed.

"Um, yeah, definitely! Dinner sounds great!" Naruto enthused, raising a fist in celebration.

"Lets go tell your mother." Inoichi moved to exit his office, but stopped in the doorway. He glanced at Naruto. "You know, you seem a lot happier. I'm glad."

"Me too," Naruto replied and nodded her head.

"Things must be working out with Sai," Inoichi stated as they moved through the house.

Naruto scrunched up her face in disgust. "Gross. Me and Sai? That's just nasty."

Ino's dad stopped at the front door. "What? I thought things with Sai were doing really well?"

"No way! He's too obsessed with penises!" Naruto exclaimed. "And he's still pretty rude, and, honestly I think he's a little gay. . ."

"Wha-what? Ino-chan, don't say that!" Inoichi admonished, frowning.

"But it's true!" Naruto exclaimed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I totally think he's gay!"

Inoichi shook his head, surprised and confused. "Does that mean you've broken up?"

Naruto's eyes rolled upward in thought. She pursed her lips and tapped a finger against them. "Um. . . I suppose  
so. . ."

"There's something. . . definitely different about you, Ino-chan." Inoichi looked her up and down. "I can't really put my finger on it, but if it isn't Sai. . ."

Naruto shrugged and opened the front door. "What can I say? Things are looking up," she replied and stepped outside.

"Ino-chan! Look who I managed to drag over!" Ino's mom shouted.

Eyes widening, Naruto felt her life suddenly drain from her body. "Wh-wh-what are you doing here!" she cried, pointing at an extremely embarrassed Ino. "Get lost!"

"Ino-chan! That is so impolite!"

"I'm inclined to agree with my daughter," Inoichi grumbled, glaring at Ino. "What are you doing here, Uzumaki?"

Ino shrunk back from his fathers fierce gaze, surprised. "Uh. . . I'm, um, I don't really know what I'm doing here," he muttered, sweating bullets. He tugged at his collar.

"I invited him over here to talk, Inoichi," Ino's mom growled. "Don't be so rude to the young man."

Inoichi crossed his arms, and looked away. He had long past gotten over the fact that Naruto contained the Kyuubi, and didn't hate the boy for it. It was the many horrible pranks the blonde brat had played that still grated the father Yamanaka. He had never forgiven the boy for ruining their garden so many years before. Ino had also relayed a number of horror stories from the few missions they had worked together.

And if Ino didn't like Naruto, he didn't like Naruto.

"Well, honey, Ino-chan is going to be staying for dinner," he mumbled, trying not to look too defeated.

"Oh, good!"

Ino stared at Naruto.

Naruto returned the gaze, replying to Ino's silent question. 'I need to stay to get the scroll.'

"Naruto will join us!" Ino's mom proclaimed and everyone's eyes turned to her.

"What!"  
"What!"  
"What!"

Naruto, Ino and Inoichi spun on one another.

"No!"  
"No!"  
"No!"

"Yes, and that's final!" Ino's mom shouted, and stomped her foot, nearly crushing one of her flowers. "Now you three march inside this instant!"

Inoichi muttered a weak protest before marching back into the house.

"Uh. . . mom, I'd really prefer if, um, Naruto didn't join us for dinner," Naruto squeaked, twiddling her fingers. She avoided meeting Ino's mom's gaze.

"Yeah, Yamanaka-san, I got other things I need to be doing. Like, uh, eating ramen." Ino grimaced at the idea.

Naruto glared at her expression.

"Nonsense!" Ino's mom announced and placed a hand on Ino's shoulder. "You eat too much ramen as it is. You need to eat other things. You're still a growing boy, Naruto-kun."

Naruto gaped at Ino's mom. "I-He doesn't eat too much ramen!" she exclaimed, and pouted.

Ignoring Naruto's outburst, Ino's mom lead Ino to the front door. "Ino-chan, don't pout like that, you're a big girl now."

Naruto looked to Ino and the two shared a similar thought. 'Kill me now.'

In the house again, Naruto grabbed Ino's elbow, her fingers failing to wrap around it completely. "You and me need to talk," she stated and the two hurried upstairs.

Ino's mom smiled after them before heading to the kitchen.

Upstairs, Naruto released Ino's arm, turning on him angrily. "What the hell are you doing!" she whispered fiercely.

"What am I doing? What're you doing?" Ino shot back just as soft. "What happened to 'In and Out'! 'In and Out!'"

"Just like 'Aim and Shoot', it's apparently not that easy!" Naruto growled. "But approaching your mom? What the hell, Ino! What're you thinking?"

"She wouldn't leave me alone," Ino replied, shaking his head. "She literally left the garden and dragged me by force! I never knew my mom was so pushy. . ."

"Yeah, now I know where you get it from," Naruto dead panned.

"Oh yeah, and why was my mom asking me about what I thought about myself? She wanted to know if I thought I was cute, and funny, and all this other stuff," Ino whispered. "It was too weird."

"She thinks you, or rather I have a crush on me, or rather you," Naruto muttered.

"Say that again?"

"She thinks Naruto has a crush on Ino," Naruto reiterated and palmed her face. "She saw you spying on us, and I told her you walked me home and now she thinks that you and I are, I don't know, liking each other or some crap! I couldn't convince her otherwise!"

"She thinks I like you? Oh, gag me. . ." Ino mumbled, feeling sick and started chewing on his fingernails.

Naruto slapped his hand away from his mouth. "Look, to get the Mind-Switch Jutsu scroll from your dad, I have to stay for dinner. He said he'd make a copy of it for me after," she explained steadily.

"Why do we need the scroll, I know the Jutsu by heart," Ino replied, exhausted. He sighed, heavy shoulders slumping.

"But I don't, and I'd have an easier time learning it if it's written down," Naruto said.

Ino rubbed his chin, bright blue eyes narrowing in thought. "Unfortunately I don't think I could write it down from memory . . . at least not as well as daddy," he muttered.

Naruto gagged slightly. "Oh my God, never do that again. Seeing myself say 'daddy' about another man is way too unnerving."

"We have to get through dinner, and then we're out of here, so keep it together down there," Ino stated.

"You keep it together!" Naruto retorted.

"You keep it together!"

"I am keeping it together! You keep it together!"

Ino marched back to the stairs before turning his head and glaring at Naruto. "Keep it together!"

Naruto, Ino and Inoichi sat in silence, waiting for dinner to be served. The father Yamanaka tapped his fingers on the armrest of his couch, staring pointedly at Ino.

Naruto and Ino looked at everything but each other, focusing on the walls, ceiling, pictures, and specifically the door leading to the kitchen. They wanted nothing more than to disappear, to change back to normal, and never look at each other again. Naruto was struggling not to poke her breasts out of boredom.

Fiddling with her top, Naruto glanced down, inadvertently right into the little cleavage it showed. She hmm'd at the sight. 'Interesting view,' she thought before looking away and smiling innocently at no one.

Ino was focused elsewhere, an old picture of him and his parents when he first joined the Ninja Academy. He smiled bitterly at the picture, missing his real body. Sneaking a glance to his right at his true body, Ino sighed longingly. It surprised him just how much he missed his breasts. His hands lay placidly on his lap, trying desperately to hide the unwanted erection that had sprung upon him minutes before. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing and his pants were pinching him in an awkward way.

"Inoichi, dear, can you come and help me for a moment?" Ino's mom called from the kitchen.

Standing slowly, Inoichi's eyes hardened at Ino. "I've got my eyes on you," he growled before quickly leaving the room.

Ino turned to Naruto. "I've got an erection," he stated.

Naruto scooted further away. "And you want me to do what exactly?"

"How can I make it go away? I don't like it, it's bugging me," Ino muttered, hands still covering his lap. "I can't have an erection while we're eating."

"Yeah, well, it happens," Naruto whispered obscurely, keeping her eyes on the kitchen door. "Just stop thinking perverted thoughts."

"I'm not thinking perverted thoughts!" Ino replied through grit teeth. "It's just hard! Now make it go down!"

"Stop talking about my boner," Naruto grumbled, crossing her arms and turned away from Ino. "It's just disturbing."

Inoichi's head poked back into the room, scanning the two. His eyes narrowed. "Come help set the table, will you?"

Naruto stood up and stretched like a cat, arms raised above her head. "Yeah, yeah, sure, okay." She scratched her left breast but stopped when she felt how sensitive it was becoming. Blushing lightly, she started for the kitchen.

"Uh. . . I think I'll just sit here for a bit?" Ino replied nervously. He smiled as innocently as he could at his father.

"Don't be so rude, Naruto," Naruto stated, hands on her hips. She smiled sweetly at the distressed boy. "Get UP and give us a HAND. It won't be that HARD nor should it take too LONG. You won't be UNCOMFORTABLE or something."

Ino glared hard at Naruto.

"Are you coming or not?" Inoichi asked.

Turning his gaze to his father, Ino gaped in horror.

"Yeah, you coming or what?" Naruto added, still smiling.

Ino raised an eyebrow at Naruto. "You really want me to?" he asked, the threat in his voice clear.

"You know what, lets just do it without him, daddy," Naruto declared and paused. "I mean set the table without him," she reiterated and put her hand on Inoichi's forehead, pushing him back into the kitchen. She turned back to Ino. "Get it together!"

"You get it together!" Ino shot back.

"Get it down!"

"You get it down!"

". . . that's not right on so many levels," Naruto muttered and exited the room.

Ino watched as the door closed on Naruto's ponytail and shook his head at her cry of pain that followed. The door opened again and Naruto stuck her head into the room, cradling the base of her ponytail gently.

"Get it together!" the girl ordered and turned back into the kitchen.

"So, Uzumaki, what have you been up to lately?" Inoichi asked as politely as he could before taking a bite of his pork.

"Just got back from a mission," Naruto replied before raising her soup bowl and taking a loud sip.

Ino glanced at Naruto, shaking his head. "Uh, yeah, I just got back from a mission."

"A-Rank, wasn't it?" Naruto muttered through slurps.

"Yeah, A-Rank," Ino agreed readily and grinned nervously. He quickly shoved some pork into his mouth.

Naruto set down her bowl and wiped her lips. "Naruto told me all about it on the way here," she lied.

"It was to kill some Missing Steam-nin. He took that guy out with no problems," she bragged and leaned back in her chair, resting her hands behind her head.

Ino scratched the top of his head. "Yeah, I guess I'm pretty good," he mumbled, blushing slightly.

"An A-Rank, eh? How many does that make now?" Inoichi wondered.

"Uh. . . well. . . I think. . . around 15, maybe?" Ino guessed and glanced at Naruto.

"Really? I could've sworn you've done more than that. Around 30 or so," Naruto grumbled around the rice in her mouth.

"Oh yeah, around 30," Ino corrected and laughed. He bonked the side of his head. "Silly me. Always forgetting things."

"30 A-Rank and you're only 22? That's pretty impressive, Naruto-kun," Ino's mom gushed and piled more rice onto Ino's plate.

Naruto looked on jealously.

Inoichi rubbed his chin. "What about S-Rank?" he asked, actually curious.

"16," Ino replied without a second thought.

Blinking at him, Naruto smiled in disbelief. Ino had been spot on.

"16," Inoichi repeated, clearly impressed. "I never would have imagined."

"What do you think of children, Naruto-kun?" Ino's mom asked pleasantly. She dropped another scoop of rice on the plate.

Ino, Naruto and Inoichi all started coughing, pounding their chests with their fists. "Children?" they squeaked.

"Why would I think of children?" Naruto exclaimed, staring at Ino's mom as if she were mad.

"I wasn't talking to you, Ino-chan, I was talking to Naruto-kun."

"Uh, uh, of course," Naruto replied, and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Me?" Ino coughed and glanced quickly around the table. He brushed the hair out of his eyes, as without his headband tied around his forehead it fell down his face even further. "Children? Well, I don't really know what to think about them. What should I be thinking? Nothing inappropriate, of course!"

Naruto gaped at Ino.

Inoichi eyed his wife dangerously. He didn't like the direction the conversation was going.

"How many would you want?"

"Oh, well, I don't really want-" Naruto kicked Ino's shin under the table. "Ow! A lot? Ow! Few! Ow! I want a lot of kids!" he cried fearfully.

"That's wonderful! Ino-chan used to say all the time how she wanted a lot of children," Ino's mom announced joyfully. She dropped yet another spoonful of rice onto Ino's plate.

Naruto slowly turned her head to look at Ino, eyes wide. 'Are you kidding me?' her eyes screamed.

"Well, uh, I'm sure that whoever Ino marries will provide her with the many kids she wants," Ino replied as honestly as he could and lightly patted Naruto on the back. "She and Sai seem to be doing pretty well," he added.

Inoichi blinked. "That's funny, Ino-chan just told me that she and Sai had broken up," he stated, glancing at Ino curiously. He looked at Naruto right after. "That's what you said, right?"

"Well, yeah, sorta, maybe . . . that is to say, it's a possibility that I did. I-I could be wrong," Naruto stuttered under the fierce glare from Ino.

"You broke up with Sai, did you?" Ino asked, his teeth grinding together. His fists were so tight that his knuckles started cracking on their own, and the chopsticks in his hand snapped. "And when did this happen, pray tell?"

As Ino visibly fumed, Inoichi and his mom observed his expression curiously. "Why're you so upset, Naruto-kun?" Ino's mom asked, tilting her head to the side.

Ino glanced at his mom. "Sai's my friend, and here . . . Ino is breaking his heart. I really thought you two were doing really well?" he growled at Naruto.

"The thing is. . ." Naruto started slowly and brushed the hair out of her face. She coughed, swept the bits of rice from her shirt, and blushed heavily. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"No, you don't," Ino ordered, blunt and serious.

"Yes, I do."

"You're lying," Ino stated.

"Am not!" Naruto shot back.

"Are too!"

"Uzumaki." The arguing halted and both Naruto and Ino glanced at Inoichi. He looked very upset. "Why are you trying to stop my daughter from going to the bathroom?"

"No reason," Ino replied quickly and Naruto took the opportunity to stand up and hurry from the room. Ino spun around at her departure, worried. "FRONT TO BACK! FRONT TO BACK!" he yelled desperately, confusing both of his parents. He stood up suddenly, face going pale.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go check. . . on. . . Ino?" Ino replied lamely. He sat back down, and laid his hands on his lap placidly. "Or not." Nervous, he glanced at his two parents.

"Ino's a good girl," he stated numbly. "You should be very proud."

"We are," Inoichi returned, just as bluntly. "And we'll continue to be proud of her as long as she stays away from you."

Ino looked down at his lap, feeling insulted. Why couldn't he hang out with Naruto? Naruto wasn't that bad of a person, was he?

"Honey, that's horrible," Ino's mom chided, frowning at her husband. "You're making poor Naruto-kun feel bad."

Inoichi ignored her, glancing at the clock on the wall. "What's taking Ino so long?"

Ino slouched in her seat, dread welling up in his stomach. He glanced over to where Atsuta rested, wishing he could grab it and gut himself. Naruto was in the bathroom, alone, with his body, seeing his privates and doing lord knew what. "Maybe I should go check on her?" he suggested once again, only to be shot down by a glare from Inoichi.

"Worried, Naruto-kun?" Ino's mom asked, smiling happily.

"You have no idea. . ." Ino muttered to himself, head drooping.

"What're your intentions with my daughter, Uzumaki?" Inoichi demanded, and shoved some rice into his mouth in a rather threatening manner.

"No-no-no intentions. I have none," Ino stuttered, shaking his head. "I don't even know how to have intentions! She's too pretty and smart for someone as ugly and dumb as me anyway."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Naruto-kun. You're a very handsome boy," Ino's mom stated and reached across the table, brushing some of Ino's hair out of his face. "You could do with a haircut though."

Ino blushed at the gesture, but shook his head. "No, you don't have to worry, Yamanaka-san, Ino and I are just friends, if barely even that."

"I can agree with that," Naruto stated as she walked back into the dining room. She retook her place beside Ino, suddenly feeling small next to the larger body. "We're hardly friends."

Ino stared blankly at Naruto and inhaled deeply.

Naruto smiled in return and winked. She raised a hand and patted Ino's cheek. "You look good clean shaven, Naruto," she announced, and grinned wide, showing her teeth.

Ino turned red, embarrassed and angry. He exhaled a shuddering breath and licked his lips. "I'm . . . glad you like it that way, Ino" he muttered through a forced smile.

Popping a piece of pork into her mouth, Naruto grinned back at him. "This was delicious, mom."

"Why thank you, Ino-chan, I'm glad you liked it."

"Yeah, thanks for making dinner. It was really good," Ino added, nodding his head and trying to forget about Naruto as best he could.

"You're quite welcome, Naruto-kun," Ino's mom replied, smiling, and stood to clear the table. She picked up her plate and Inoichi's.

"I'll help you with those, mom," Ino said and rose to his feet.

Everyone blinked. Everyone looked at Ino. Naruto whimpered, Inoichi frowned, and Ino's mom smiled wide, her eyes shining in pure elation.

"I mean mom!" Ino exclaimed, raising his hands and waving them in denial. "I mean Yamanaka-san!"

"You called me mom," the mother Yamanaka stated, still smiling. She put down the plates, clapping her hands together in delight. "Twice!"

Inoichi was on his feet now, glaring daggers at Ino. He pointed at him. "You!" He pointed to the door. "Out now!"

"It's not what you think!" Ino shouted, backing away from his enraged father.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us, Ino-chan?" Ino's mom asked. "Something about you and Naruto?"

"What? No! Nothing!" Naruto cried, and started waving her arms in protest.

"Do I hear wedding bells?"

"NO!" Naruto and Ino screamed in unison.

Inoichi was still pointing at the door.

Ino's mom shook her head at the two. "How long have you two been hiding this?"

"We're haven't been hiding anything!" Ino stated.

"We're not together!" Naruto added just as forceful.

"Out!"

Ino turned to his father, scared. "Yamanaka-san, it's not what you think."

"It's not what you think, mom!" Naruto shouted, raising her hands.

"Oh my!" Ino's mom exclaimed in shock, pointing at Ino's crotch with one hand and covering her chest with her other.

Ino covered his erection, blushing like mad. "It's not what you think!"

Naruto gaped at Ino, horrified. She turned to Inoichi, fearful for her body. "It's not what you think!"

Ino's father was frozen, staring blankly at Ino, his finger still pointed at the door.

Twisting, Naruto rounded on Ino. "Are you kidding me? I told you to get it down!"

"I tried!"

"Oh my!" Ino's mom repeated, her cheeks a light shade of pink.

"It's not that hard!" Naruto shouted, red with anger.

"It gets harder?" Ino exclaimed, glancing down.

"Oh my!"

Naruto smacked her forehead. "Oh my God, no! To get it down!"

"Well if you had just helped me with it when I asked you to," Ino retorted, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"OH MY!"

Ino immediately recovered himself. "I'm sorry!"

Inoichi's mouth fell open.

"It's not what you think!" Naruto cried to Ino's mom, frightened. "He didn't mean it like that!"

"I think . . . I should be going . . ." Ino muttered and slowly backed away, toward the door. "So, uh, thank you, again, for dinner. It was great, and . . . uh, so was the company. Um, sorry about all this, and I am leaving." He turned and rushed from the room, hands never leaving his crotch, forgetting his hitai-ate and Atsuta behind.

Naruto sighed and slumped to the ground. Her life as she knew it was over.

"He wanted you to WHAT!" Inoichi screamed.

* * *

Naruto shoved the Leaf hitai-ate and Atsuta into Ino's hands, breathing heavily. Her chest rose and fell, and were she in her normal body, she would've found the sight to be extremely attractive. Instead it was aggravating, the feel of her breasts moving in a particularly painful way, and her heart was still pounding.

"That went pretty well," Naruto bit out sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I mean, your parents only think that I'm a total pervert, your dad wants to cut off my dick, your mom thinks we're getting married, that you're possibly pregnant, and she won't stop referring to me as a big boy.

"'Oh, that Naruto sure is a big boy'," Naruto mimicked Ino's mom, clapping her hands together and gazing happily upward, a big smile on her face.

Ino retied the hitai-ate to his forehead after slinging Atsuta over his shoulder. "Did you at least get the scroll?"

"Surprisingly, yes, even though your dad was so pissed off that he refused to speak to me," Naruto replied, and crossed her arms under her breasts. They weighed heavily on her forearms, but she ignored it. "So tonight wasn't a total failure thanks to you and your inability to get rid of a simple boner."

"I'm sorry, I've never had a BONER before," Ino retorted.

"But to have it all through dinner!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing her arms up. "That's just ridiculous!"

Ino sighed and shook his head. "I'll practice at making it go down the next time I get one," he muttered plainly and rolled his eyes.

"And on that note, I'm going home," Naruto grumbled, and shoved her hands into her pockets. She turned to go.

Ino grabbed her arm, stopping her. "You're coming to my apartment."

"Are you propositioning me? Again?" Naruto replied, lips curving into a mocking grin.

"First of all, I'm not letting you take my body to your place alone. No telling what you'd do to it."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I suppose that's a good argument since I wasn't lying when I said you looked good clean shaven," she stated. "I'm curious about the rest of your body now."

"My apartment. You're sleeping on the couch," Ino growled and started to pull Naruto along.

"Why am I sleeping on the couch? Technically, it's my apartment so you should sleep on the couch," Naruto retorted, and grinned.

"You're on the couch and there will be no touching of my body."

"Same goes to you," Naruto said. "I know what's been going through that head of yours."

"Shut up, idiot," Ino grumbled, cheeks turning red.

The two continued down the street, drawing the attention of a few late night patrons. They watched as Naruto lead Ino down the street by the arm. Or so they believed anyway.

Naruto's eyes narrowed at the idea of touching herself. She had been so preoccupied earlier when she had gone to the bathroom, mainly with trying to figure out what the hell she was doing, that she didn't find the chance to even look at her body let alone touch any part of it. Outside of that certain area anyway. She was quite curious about Ino's breasts and what they looked like uncovered. The perverted grin that grew on her face betrayed her thoughts.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Ino said, cutting off Naruto's thoughts.

"My mind wasn't anywhere near a gutter!" Naruto announced innocently, shaking her head. "You're the one taking me to your place, and I don't know what you expect, but you're not getting any from me," she mocked, sticking her tongue out at the back of Ino's head.

Sighing in defeat, Ino shook his head. Naruto was impossible. "Tomorrow I'll start teaching you the Mind-Switch Jutsu."

"Okay, but if we sleep together, you have to make me breakfast in the morning," Naruto stated in all seriousness, nodding her head.

Ino's hand tightened around Naruto's arm. "I'm going to grind that Jutsu into your head as fast as I can," he growled.

"I bet that's not the only thing you want to grind into me as fast as you can," Naruto joked, and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I really do hate you."

* * *

Next Time: Chapter 3 - 'The Training Begins' or 'We're Totally Screwed'  
Ino and Naruto begin the training, with less than positive results.

A/N: I wrote this chapter very fast, but now I'm just exhausted. A lot of bad things have been happening, don't know when I'll get the energy to work on Chapter 3. Hopefully soon, but. . . it's been bad. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Review and tell me what you thought. Lots of talking in this chapter, should be more action coming up.


	4. Chapter 3: ‘The Training Begins’ or ‘We

"So this is your place, eh?" Naruto asked as she stepped into Ino's apartment. The first thing she noticed was a small brown couch, big enough for just two people sitting in the middle of the wide living room. She frowned at it. Her eyes moved on, scanning the rest of the room: a regular tv, a desk against the end wall, a sliding glass doorway beside it, leading to the outside deck. There were three more doors, and Naruto assumed one lead to the kitchen, one to the bedroom, and the other was likely the bathroom. "It's cozy," she concluded.

"Thanks," Ino muttered sarcastically and stepped past Naruto. He pulled off Atsuta and leaned it against the wall.

Naruto shut the door behind her. "What can I change into?" she asked as she followed Ino into the bedroom.

Stopping and turning, Ino blocked Naruto's way, and raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about changing?"

"I just did," Naruto replied and looked at Ino in confusion. "Who else would say anything? It's only us here."

Ino rubbed his forehead and sighed. "That's not what I-you know what, forget about it. Just go and sleep on the couch," he ordered and pointed at said furniture.

"I don't want to sleep in this," Naruto countered, motioning to Ino's typical outfit. "Don't you have some boxers I could wear? I'm used to just sleeping in boxers," she explained.

Ino stared at her blankly, and he paused for a moment. "You plan. . . on sleeping in just boxers?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Naruto replied, and blinked at Ino's expression.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!" Ino exclaimed. "I'm not letting you sleep like that! No way!"

"What's wrong with the way I sleep!" Naruto retorted, crossing her arms. She raised a slim eyebrow questioningly.

"I don't want YOU sleeping half nude in MY body!" Ino exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It's just. . . wrong! Keep my clothes on!"

Naruto rubbed her chin. "Keep your clothes on, or keep my clothes on?"

Ino blinked. "What?"

Naruto blinked. "What?"

Shaking his head, Ino turned toward his bedroom. "Just stay right there, and don't touch anything."

"Yeah, yeah. . . I won't touch anything," Naruto muttered, rolling her eyes.

"ANYTHING," Ino restated and eyed his old body pointedly.

Naruto glanced at him innocently. "What? I wouldn't dream of it!" she replied and smiled brightly, holding her hands away at her sides.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late."  
- Lee Iacocca

A Mind Bending Inconvenience  
A Naruto Story  
By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place after the Naruto series, after Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren't dead in the Manga at Chapter 356 (when I started this) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic. Thank you for your time and your reviews, they mean a lot. Has been updated to current events in the manga, people dead and what not.

Thanks kindly to Corwin, my far away friend, for helping again. Your input and corrections are greatly appreciated.

Chapter 3 - 'The Training Begins' or 'We're Totally Screwed'

* * *

Ino hurried into his room and out of sight, leaving Naruto to her own devices. The mentally switched human moved to the couch and frowned at it. Eyeballing Ino's bedroom door, she kicked the brown piece of furniture firmly. "That's what I think of sleeping on you," she muttered to the couch which didn't give her a reply.

As he reentered the room, Ino's hands clutched a long white t-shirt and a pair of old plaid boxers. He walked up to Naruto, and shoved the clothing at her. "You can use these for tonight," he stated.

"And what about you, huh? What're you gonna be sleeping in?" Naruto asked, shirt and boxers hanging from her hands.

Ino shrugged. "Shirt and underwear," he replied simply. "I won't see anything of yours that way, all right?"

Naruto 'hmph'ed and looked away. "Fine, fine, whatever," she mumbled and headed to the bathroom.

Ino moved to follow, trailing Naruto's steps. He stopped as Naruto did, and the small girl turned on him, eyeing him incredulously.

"Where are you going?" Naruto asked suspiciously as she stood in the doorway to the bathroom.

"Going in there with you," Ino replied.

"Look, you watching me change would be too weird," Naruto explained uneasily.

"It's not like you have anything I haven't seen before," Ino countered and leaned against the wall beside the  
bathroom door.

"Yeah, but it's still weird and wrong!" Naruto exclaimed. "I'd feel violated or something," she added and crossed  
her arms over her chest protectively.

"Are you kidding me?" Ino mumbled and ran a hand over his face in exasperation.

"Wouldn't you feel weird if I watched you undress in that body with this body?" Naruto asked and frowned.

Ino paused at the suggestion, imagining undressing and being watched by herself. It was unnerving to think about and she sighed. "Go change in the bathroom. I'm giving you 2 minutes and that's it," she bargained.

"But I want time to look at your breasts!" Naruto whined, and pouted.

"Look at my breasts, you say?" Ino drawled, raising an eyebrow dangerously.

"No," Naruto replied.

"I could've sworn that's what you said," Ino countered, his eyes narrowing and Naruto suddenly knew just how frightening his glare could be.

"All right, jeez, I didn't get a chance earlier when I was going to the bathroom," Naruto explained guiltily. "I was too busy trying to figure out what to do."

"I think you've seen enough then," Ino growled, and palmed Naruto's face with his hand before forcing the girl into the bathroom. "You have one minute."

Naruto grumbled as the bathroom door slammed behind her. She glanced at the clothes in her hands, long white t-shirt and green boxers, before dropping them to the floor. Her pale eyes spied the door in the mirrors reflection and she quickly went about undoing the belt and ties on her pants. They slid from her thighs and down to her ankles. She once again had the chance to marveled at the shapeliness and creamy skin color of Ino's legs.

"You have nice legs, Ino!" Naruto exclaimed and stretched out her leg to get a better look.

"30 seconds," Ino called back, through the door, impatiently.

"That's not enough time!" Naruto shouted and tripped over the pants around her ankles. She hurriedly pulled them off, followed by her top, leaving her in nothing but her underwear. The long t-shirt was yanked over her head, backwards, and she quickly righted it.

The door opened and Ino stuck his head in, cerulean eyes finding Naruto immediately. "You done?"

"Still wearing bra and panties," Naruto muttered, embarrassed. Her cheeks suddenly burn at the thought of Ino's body in what she'd just said. She shook her head at the thought. Sure, Ino had an amazing body, beautiful face and stunning eyes, but the baggage and personality that came with it made her a total turn off to Naruto. She had never found herself that attracted to Ino because of it. Maybe it was because she was seeing Ino's body from a whole other perspective.

Ino sighed and entered the room. "Well get up," he ordered and Naruto did as told, the long shirt falling close to her knees.

"Whose shirt is this?" she asked, looking down at it, and the nice amount of cleavage it revealed.

"None of your business," Ino grumbled, and handed Naruto the boxers.

"Well it's way too long to be yours, and I doubt Sai gave it to you," Naruto continued as she pulled off her panties from under the shirt. She slipped the boxers on swiftly, never once revealing herself.

"Don't worry about it," Ino muttered, frowning, but nodded at Naruto's display of changing. She was even more impressed when the bra fell from underneath the shirt and to the floor.

Naruto grinned. "Experience," she said and shrugged.

Ino shook his head. "You pervert."

If Naruto heard the comment, she paid no mind, shrugging her shoulders rapidly. She smiled gleefully as her breasts bounced freely up and down beneath the loose shirt. "I feel so free!"

Ino grabbed Naruto's shoulders, halting her bouncing. "No more of that."

"You don't let me have any fun."

"Not with my body."

"What about Sakura's?" Naruto asked, her eyes glazed over from the thought of making out with Sakura while in Ino's body.

Ino restrained himself from smacking Naruto upside the head. For some reason he was okay with Naruto having that vision. There was something flattering, in a perverted sense, about Naruto involving his real body in a fantasy. He shook his head nonetheless.

"Pervert."

* * *

Her eyes snapped open and she groaned, wondering why she felt so uncomfortable. Raising a hand to rub her forehead, Naruto groaned again at the sight of her dainty fingers, realizing that she hadn't just had the weirdest dream in her life.

Sighing, Naruto sat up from the couch, her long shirt having ridden up her body and exposing her midriff. She poked her belly button in depression before sliding her legs off the couch and placing her bare feet on the chilly carpet. Her toes curled into it as she stretched her body gracefully, yawning.

Her shirt unfurled, tumbling to her thighs, and her shoulders slumped. Naruto grimaced as her bare breasts rubbed against the inside of her shirt and her nipples hardened abruptly. Glancing down at them, she raised an eyebrow as they pointed through the clothe. Pale blue eyes scanned the silent apartment quickly and thoroughly before Naruto lifted her shirt, exposing her chest to herself. The man turned woman grinned to herself at the sight of the small, cute nipples.

"Very nice, Ino," Naruto whispered and moved to poke one of the hard nubs.

* * *

"Who's there?"

Naruto paused at the sound of her real voice coming from Ino's bedroom. The shirt dropped again, covering her chest. "Ino?" she muttered nervously.

"Where am I?" Ino asked quietly as she wandered down the dark and damp corridor. Loud drops of water fell from the ceiling and echoed throughout the halls. Something's loud breathing responded to her question. She was lost in the strange maze, but she was herself. At least in her dreams she was still female. "Is someone down there?"

"Who is this . . .?" a deep voice, full of death, growled, its question echoing through the halls.

Ino shuddered heavily at the sound, the hairs on her arms rising along with goose bumps. She continued forward still, her hand running over the worn and weathered all for balance, her legs unsteady beneath her.

"Hey?" another voice called; her own voice, as if out of her body. "Wake up! Now!"

"What?" Ino replied. "Where am I?"

"Don't ask questions, just wake up, damnit!" her voice demanded, and she felt herself suddenly shaking.

His eyes snapped open to see his body leaning over him, her pale blue eyes wide with worry. Tired, Ino scanned his real body and exhaled. "Not a dream?" he asked.

"The body switch thing? No," Naruto stated. "The watery corridors? Yes."

Ino paused as he spied the braless cleavage Naruto was revealing in the long t-shirt. "I can't believe I let you wear that to sleep," he muttered and covered his face in embarrassment.

"That's hardly important at this time," Naruto replied and sat on Ino's bed. "Where you were. . . the dark hallways. . . you have to stay away from there."

Licking his lips, Ino exhaled deeply. "That's where he is, isn't it?" he asked blankly, staring at the wall across the room. He slowly met Naruto's beaten and depressed eyes.

"Yes, Kyuubi is down there," Naruto muttered, not using Kurama's given name. "He's always there and he would not be happy to see you."

Ino laid back down, the bed beneath him creaking from the weight, and stared at the ceiling. "That's why you're always training, isn't it?"

"I have to stay strong, physically and mentally because of him," she explained. "He and I are on pretty good terms now a days, but he's still not a fan of strangers, so seeing you instead of me probably wouldn't go over well.

"If he sees that you're in control of my body and mind, he'll attempt to escape and most likely succeed," Naruto continued. "You have to stay away from him. He can't know you're in control."

Ino sighed. "I didn't know. That's what it's like . . . It could tear you apart . . ."

"Not many people do. Only four now," Naruto muttered and stood. "Tsunade-oba-chan, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi."

"Jiraiya and Yamato?"

"They knew. Kinda hard for them not to," Naruto replied with a weak grin. "Every day a bit of his chakra becomes mine. Every day I have to train to support the increase or it'll tear me apart from the inside. We've already fought once for control and I won, and he accepted me, but if I don't keep up with his chakra entering my body, he'll break out again. When that happens, I doubt he'll be very friendly with the rest of Konoha."

Ino sat up. "I need coffee," he groaned. "This is a lot to absorb so early in the morning."

Nodding, Naruto moved for the door. "I'll make you some. How do you take it?"

Surprised, Ino sat for a moment, taking in Naruto's act of kindness. "Uh. . . two cubes of sugar," he muttered. "Thanks. . ."

"No problem," she replied and exited, her hair swishing behind her.

Ino pursed her lips and her eyes narrowed. "Why are your nipples hard?"

Purposefully ignoring Ino's outcry, Naruto entered the kitchen. She gracefully went about making the coffee, and grabbed a couple piece of bread, dropping them into the toaster. Eyes closed, Naruto leaned back against the countered, hands resting behind her. After a moment, she went about finding the sugar cubes.

A few minutes later she exited the kitchen, coffee cup in one hand, plate of buttered toast in the other. As Naruto crossed the hallway back to Ino's room, a soft knock came from the front door. Yawning, the t-shirt and boxer clad Naruto padded softly over to the door.

"One second!" Naruto called out. She swiftly and gracefully lifted her smooth leg, unlocking the door with her toes, keeping a firm hold on the coffee cup and plate. "Okay, come in," she announced. The door opened as Naruto turned away.

"Hey, Ino," Shikamaru said as he stepped inside. "Sorry about coming by . . . so . . . early?" he faltered over his words as he stared at Naruto's attire. He gaped stupidly at her long, bare legs. "Uh . . . um . . ."

Naruto looked back over her shoulder, confused. "Hey, Shikamaru, what's up?" she asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh . . . well . . . I came to talk to you about yesterday, but since when do you wear that?" he blurted and pulled at the collar of his shirt.

Glancing down at her cloths, Naruto blinked curiously. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing? It's very comfy," she stated.

"Well, I'm uh . . . sure it is," Shikamaru mumbled.

"Who was that at the door?" Ino asked as he entered the room, clad in a white undershirt and black and orange boxers.

"What . . . the . . . hell?" Shikamaru muttered as he stared at Ino, then Naruto.

Naruto spun around, nearly spilling the coffee. "It's not what you think!"

"Nothing happened!" Ino added frantically.

His eyes traveled back and forth between Naruto and Ino, his massive intelligence failing him for the first time in years. "What is . . . going on!? What the hell, Ino!?"

"Nothing's going on, Shikamaru!" Ino exclaimed, though he wasn't the one Shikamaru was questioning.

"Nothing!" Naruto shouted, feeling handicapped by the cup and plate in her hands. She tried to think fast, not usually Naruto's forte. "Have a piece of toast!" she cried and shoved the plate at Shikamaru's face.

The shadow wielder stepped back as if threatened by the bread. "This is not normal," Shikamaru said, staring at the two in incomprehension.

"You're telling me," Naruto muttered under her breath, toast still offered.

"I think I'll go," Shikamaru stated.

"Don't go!" Ino cried, reaching out for him, but Shikamaru only gave a strangled look at the gesture. There was something wrong with the sight of Uzumaki Naruto acting so desperate toward him.

"I'll let you two be," Shikamaru said and stepped back again, watching Ino cautiously.

Sensing a lost battle, Naruto exclaimed, "Don't tell anyone!"

Both Ino and Shikamaru turned to her, surprised. Ino gaped stupidly and Shikamaru blinked, his brain already processing and analyzing the words and their meaning. Was the outcry an admission to an affair? Was this more than an affair? Were they dating?

"Shikamaru?" Naruto muttered, eyeing the young man questioningly. She waved the plate of toast in front of his face. "I think I fried his brain . . ."

"I won't," the genius said. "I won't tell anyone." And with that, he turned and exited, leaving the switched Naruto and Ino alone once again.

After a moment, Naruto spoke, "Well, that went pretty well," she said and grinned, smug. She swiped the imaginary sweat from her forehead with the back of her arm.

"'Went pretty well'?" Ino repeated. "'Pretty well', did it!"

Naruto flinched as Ino knocked the plate of toast out of her hand, the food flying across the room. She turned to protect the cup of coffee, lest it was hit next and splashed, scalding, all over her.

"That was horrible!" Ino raged, throwing his hands up. "Shikamaru thinks we've been doing it!"

"It?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of her head.

"SEX!" Ino screamed.

"Oh." Naruto blinked and shrugged. "He said he wouldn't tell," she retorted feebly.

"Shikamaru's almost as bad as me when it comes to keeping his mouth shut! He's probably off to tell Choji about us and how troublesome it all is!

"If you weren't in my body, I would kick your ass," Ino finished with a growl. He turned and stormed back into his bedroom, slamming the door.

"Women," Naruto muttered and she held up the cup of coffee. "So. . . uh. . . do you still want your coffee?"

"I'm going to take a shower!" Ino shouted in return.

"Hey, whoa!" Naruto exclaimed and moved toward Ino's room. "That's full frontal nudity right there! You can't just do that!"

"You going to stop me?"

"If I have to!" Naruto replied and set the cup of coffee down.

"Well you're too late! I'm already naked in here!" Ino proclaimed.

"Hey!" Naruto screamed, almost girlishly and rammed her shoulder into the door. She found out it was unlocked when she tumbled through and fell face first to the floor, her breasts smashing beneath her unpleasantly. Exhaling heavily, she looked up, finding a fully clothed Ino, dressed in the cloths he had worn the day before. He looked down at her with a raised eyebrow and an amused smirk.

"Very graceful," Ino taunted.

Laughing sarcastically, Naruto pushed herself to her feet. "Ha! Ha! That was so funny, Ino," she bit out and rubbed her sore chest.

"You're the one busting in here wanting to see yourself naked," Ino teased, hands on his hips.

"I was not!"

"Get dressed. We're going to go out training right away, and hopefully have this solved before any shower drama can commence," Ino explained, ignoring Naruto's outburst.

"Fine by me," Naruto stated. "What should I wear?"

Ino turned, revealing a purple training outfit laid out on her bed.

Naruto grimaced. "Do you have anything in orange?"

* * *

Rubbing his forehead, Ino sighed. "Try harder! Focus!"

"I am!" Naruto snapped. Her clone nodded in agreement, as frustrated as the original.

"You're whining more than you're trying!" Ino stated harshly. "Now go over the hand signs again!"

Grumbling a few choice words under her breath, Naruto and her sole clone, which appeared as Ino, attempted to mimic the hand signs the real Ino, in Naruto's body, had shown them. The two had poured over the scroll for a number of minutes early that morning, but they still were producing no visible or mental results.

"Damnit!" she swore and pulled at her ponytail in frustration. "Why is this so damn hard!"

"You've gotten too used to training with hundreds of clones," Ino said and signed again as he watched Naruto stomp her foot. "You're not going to master this in a matter of minutes."

"Well damnit, I can't stay like this for too long! I need to go on that mission," Naruto replied.

"You may have to give it up," Ino said and crossed his arms.

Naruto responded by going through the motions again, this time more fervently.

Ino smiled.

"I'm going to master your stupid jutsu, switch us back, and go on my mission," she growled.

Ino frowned.

Seven hours later, one lunch of cold sandwiches, much to Naruto's displeasure, and nonstop training had yielded still little results.

"There's something you haven't shown me, or something I missed in the scroll," Naruto muttered and slumped to the ground, beside the Mind-Switch Jutsu scroll. She picked it up and scanned it again.

Ino yawned from where he balanced on his head, legs crossed Indian style over his body. A small bird had perched on his shoe and had stayed for the last couple of minute. Spooked by its resting spots sudden movement, the bird twittered away. Rolling back to his feet, Ino stepped over to Naruto.

"I've shown you over fifty times already," he muttered. He had spent most of his time, under Naruto's fierce instructions, training his body. Every type of push up, sit up, jogging, sprinting, jumping, crawling. Naruto had even made him carry her over his shoulder while she practiced the hand signs. Ino was worn out and bored. He couldn't believe Naruto did stuff like this every day.

"Well show me another fifty times, then," Naruto demanded and dropped the scroll to the side. "Cause I'm missing something."

Sighing, Ino went over the motions again; Naruto staring at his hands, refused to blink. When Ino finished, Naruto stated, "Again," and Ino went through them once more.

"Again."

Ino's hands went into motion.

"Again."

He did the signs again, slower this time, tired and annoyed.

"Again," Naruto ordered.

"I'm tired and hungry," Ino said instead, appearing weary.

Naruto met Ino's heavy lidded eyes, uncaring. "Again."

Closing his eyes, Ino went through the signs again, almost as if in slow motion, not because he chose to, but because he didn't feel up to do them at the speed they had to be performed.

"Wait."

He stopped his hands and opened his eyes. "What?" Ino asked, looking down at the sign his hands were doing.

"Your pinkie," Naruto stated, peering at the finger.

"What about it?" Ino said, and lifted his hands to see.

"It's curved back instead of forward," Naruto muttered. "Do that sign completely. Slowly."

Ino nodded and obliged, suddenly full of excited energy.

"Yes!" Naruto crowed and raised a fist in celebration. "When you do that sign, you curve your pinkie back then forward for a second instead of just forward from the start!" she explained and Ino felt his excitement continue to boil.

"Why didn't I see that in the scroll?" Naruto wondered and picked up the parchment, eyes scanning it immediately.

Ino sighed, this time in relief. They were getting somewhere. "There must be little quarks in the hand signs that I never realized I was doing before. My dad helped me learn so many years ago, that I barely used the scroll anyway," he said and smacked his forehead lightly. "So stupid!"

"No time for that, Ino, my bra is making my breasts itchy and hot, I'm sweaty and I need to go to the bathroom," Naruto announced firmly, then added, "I wouldn't mind stripping down and running around naked right now."

Ino blinked at Naruto. "Excuse me?"

"That's not the point though," Naruto continued, ignoring his question. "You have to go over the signs slowly and in order so we can find whatever else is different about the hand signs."

Ino nodded, trying not to imagine Naruto running through the streets naked in his body.

"All right then," Naruto started.

"Ino!" a voice cried and Naruto and Ino turned at the sound.

Sakura was hurrying toward them, white medical garb swaying slightly at her ankles.

Ino smacked his forehead again. "I forgot. . ."

"I've been looking for you all over! We're going to be late!" Sakura said and blinked as she took note of a worried Ino. "Naruto?"

"Yeah?" Naruto and Ino replied simultaneously. Ino jabbed Naruto in the side.

"What're you doing here?" Sakura asked.

"Training," Ino stated and grinned. "Ino was training with me."

Naruto nodded, rubbing her side.

"You two were training. . . together?" Sakura's forehead furrowed in disbelief.

"Yup!"  
"Yeah."

Naruto slung an arm around Ino's neck and over his broad shoulder. "We've become good friends," she added though Ino was quick to brush the arm away.

"Not that good of friends," Ino declared, eyeing Naruto with a glare.

"Well, okay. . . either way, we have to go," Sakura muttered, confused by the sudden, budding, friendship.

"Yeah, I really do need to go," Naruto said, thinking more about the bathroom.

Sakura grabbed Naruto's arm. "Well, come on then. The others probably won't wait for us." She easily pulled Naruto to her feet, who squawked in surprise.

"Others? There are going to be others in the bathroom?" Naruto marveled, looking from Sakura to Ino in confusion.

Ino smacked his forehead one last time and shook his head.

"Bathroom?" Sakura repeated. "You can go to the bathroom when we get to the restaurant."

"Restaurant?" Naruto asked. "Why am I going to a restaurant?"

Sakura blinked and looked at Ino who quickly shrugged and looked as dumb as he could.

"I think I hit her head a little hard when we were practicing."

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed and glared at Ino.

Sighing, Sakura tugged in Naruto's arm. "Come on, Ino," she muttered.

Naruto look to Ino desperately, scared for her life and bladder. She chose to remain silent as Sakura quickly led them away. Glancing back, she lost sight of Ino and her dread mounted.

"So what were you and Naruto working on, Ino-pig?" Sakura asked as they made their way down a busy Konoha street.

"Uh. . . just. . . getting me into better shape. . ." Naruto muttered and rubbed the back of her head with her free hand.

Sakura smiled. "That's good. I was afraid you were getting kinda lazy," she replied.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Naruto muttered in annoyance. She hated being suddenly so weak, when she was just a couple days ago so strong. She flexed her free arm, frowning at the small bulge that appeared, representing her muscles. "So what're we doing?"

Sakura shook her head, dumbfounded by who she thought was Ino. "We have the weekly Kunoichi meeting tonight," she explained. "The one we go to every week?"

Naruto scratched the back of her head nervously. "Kunoichi meeting?" she mumbled and looked about for an escape. Sakura's grip was too tight around her wrist though, and she was not letting go.

They entered a quant looking restaurant, and Naruto nearly peed her pants at the sight that awaited them. Every Kunoichi and a few she didn't recognize, all Chuunin and up, were sitting around a large round table against the far wall. Tsunade's eyes widened at the sight of them approaching and Naruto grinned weakly in return.

"Sorry we're late," Sakura announced as she let go of Naruto.

Wincing, Naruto grabbed her wrist, holding it gently.

"We've only ordered drinks," Tenten replied, setting down her menu.

"Drinks?" Naruto muttered. "No drinks, bathroom!" she exclaimed and made a mad dash for the restroom.

The table of girls all watched her run, staring in confusion.

"What's up with Yamanaka?" Anko asked.

"If you'll excuse me a moment," Tsunade stated and made her way from the table, following after Naruto. She pushed the door open, immediately taking note of two young girls standing at the sink, washing their hands and chatting amicably.

Upon noticing the Hokage, the most powerful female Kuniochi alive, the two girls stopped and stared. "Ho-Hokage-sama!"

"Get out."

The girls nodded dumbly and hurried from the bathroom.

"If there's anyone else in here, I suggest you leave now before I get angry," Tsunade added.

A stall burst open and a woman stumbled out, hurriedly pulling up her pants as she rushed from the room.

Tsunade turned and locked the door, preventing anyone else from entering. "Naruto?"

"Maybe?" a voice answer meekly from behind another stall door.

Tsunade rubbed her forehead. "Where's Ino?"

"I don't know."

"Shouldn't you two be training?"

"Do you mind, I'm trying to go to the bathroom here!"

"Well hurry up," Tsunade snapped. She listened to the grumbling that followed and soon Naruto was exiting the stall, looking exactly like Ino to her eyes. She rubbed the back of her neck, still unused to see Ino's body with Naruto inside of it. The smaller blonde walked over to the sink and quickly washed her hands.

"So?"

"We were getting somewhere, but Sakura came and interrupted us and dragged me here," Naruto explained as she dried her hands. "I'm sure Ino's on her . . . the way here right now."

"Well, we can't have you be here at the Kunoichi Meeting," Tsunade stated.

"Pfft, why would I want to sit around with a bunch of girls, probably talking about stupid women things?" Naruto asked, rolling her eyes.

Tsunade swung at Naruto but stopped, her hand an inch away from the other girls head. "You're lucky you're in Ino's body, otherwise I'd hit you."

Naruto grinned cheekily. "Is that a fact?"

"Don't push your luck, that won't stop me from making your life a living hell," the Hokage stated. "Now, when we go back out there, I'm going to tell them that you have an assignment with Morino that you have to go to right away. Ino's worked with him before."

"The torture, psycho, nut-job, wacko, crazy, looney, cold-hearted, weirdo?" Naruto muttered, eyes wide. "You actually make Ino do assignments with that guy!"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "You sound as if you're concerned for Ino, Naruto," she replied with a smirk.

"Well, no, that's not it," Naruto said nervously, wringing her hands. "It's just . . . Morino is crazy! And . . . making Ino work with him . . . that's just mean!"

Tsunade's other eyebrow rose. "Is it now? She seems to work rather well with him."

"Well then she's crazy too! I don't want to work with Morino!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing her hands up, eyes wide. "All you women are crazy! I'm going crazy and I've only been a woman for less than two days! I miss my penis! I miss being able to stand up and pee! I keep forgetting I'm a girl and try standing and it gets all over the place when I do instead of in the toilet like it should!"

"As a guy?" Tsunade muttered in confusion, having lost herself in Naruto's rant.

"AS A GIRL!"

This time Tsunade did hit Naruto, as lightly as she could, which still resulted in Naruto falling to the ground. "Calm down, Naruto," she ordered and Naruto immediately quieted. "You're right, you've been a woman for less than two days, so it's too soon to be losing your mind already, and I'm not going to make you work with Ibiki, and from now on remember to sit down when using the toilet."

"I don't want to be stuck like this," Naruto whispered, suddenly sounding utterly defeated. She stared blankly at her hands before clenching them into tight fists. "I hate this."

Tsunade placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "You're not going to be stuck like this, Naruto. You and Ino will fix this, I have no doubt. Every time you get yourself into a messy situation, and apparently it's been messy, you somehow find a way out. It's in your nature to get out of problems like this. You just have to be patient right now."

Nodding weakly, Naruto raised her head and smiled. "I need to get back to Ino, we need to keep training."

Tsunade turned and unlocked the door. "Then lets get you out of here," she stated.

Ino stood, arms crossed, eyes wide, and foot tapping. Immediately his hand reached out and grabbed Naruto's arm. "Took you long enough!" he exclaimed, pulling Naruto from the bathroom.

"Ino!" Naruto shouted, surprised, drawing the attention of the surrounding tables. The table of Kunoichi stared at the two as well. Naruto froze for a moment. "Uh . . . is my name!" she quickly added.

"That's your damn name all right!" Ino supplied loudly.

Tsunade smacked her forehead.

"So come on, 'Ino', lets get back to training," Ino growled through grit teeth, tugging on Naruto's arm.

"Why does everyone keep dragging me places?" Naruto whined. She hastily grabbed a piece of bread off of a couple's table, who squawked in surprised and anger at the blatant thievery of their food. Popping the bread into her mouth, Naruto chewed fast before sticking her tongue out, covered in food, at the couple. She widened her eyes crazily, daring them to challenge her.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?" Sakura demanded, standing from the table.

Naruto turned to the pink haired girl and swallowed heavily.

"Ino and I need to get back to training," Ino stated, nodding his head. "So we're going now."

"Ino needs to be here for the Kunoichi meeting," Sakura stated and moved to approach the two but was immediately cut off by Tsunade.

"Not tonight," the Hokage said, blocking her apprentice. "Those two need to train."

Naruto tore her arm free of Ino's grip, glaring at him in annoyance. She grabbed three more rolls of bread from another table, stuffing two into her pockets and the other in her mouth. "Comfh on!" she garbled and marched for the exit.

Ino hurried after, ignoring the stares of confusion. The thought of Naruto and Ino training together, and with the Hokage's backing. Something strange was going on.

"Something strange is going on," Anko announced.

"Thanks for stating the obvious," Kurenai replied dully. The red-eyed Kunoichi turned to Tsunade. "What's going on between those two? Everyone here knows that Ino hates Naruto and Naruto can barely stand Ino."

Sakura retook her seat, shaking her head. "When I found them, they were acting all buddy-buddy. It doesn't make sense to me."

"And you shouldn't dwell on it any longer. I've ordered Naruto to train Ino as I felt she was growing lax," Tsunade lied. "I suppose that during the training they've gotten used to each other and are starting to get along."

The Kunoichi around the table eyed one another, finding it hard to believe that two people as stubborn, loud and short tempered as Naruto and Ino could get along.

* * *

"How come I've never heard about these Kunoichi meetings?" Naruto asked as she and Ino walked back to the training grounds.

"Are you a Kunoichi?" Ino replied.

"I am right now. . ." Naruto muttered in annoyance.

"Yeah, well, typically you're not and so the meetings are none of your concern, thus you're never told about them."

"What do you guys talk about?"

"We 'guys', talk about girl stuff." Ino rolled his eyes, annoyed.

Naruto made a face. "I was right. How lame. You don't talk about training methods or missions and stuff?"

Ino sighed. "Lets just get back to training," he replied, shaking his head in disbelief.

Setting her jaw, Naruto looked up to Ino as they walked. "Don't worry, I'll fix this. It's in my nature to get out of problems like this," she stated.

Ino half grinned at Naruto's sudden confidence. "I know."

Nodding, Naruto pulled out the two pieces of bread she had pocketed. She took a bite out of one while wordlessly offering the other to Ino.

Blinking at Naruto's gesture, Ino took the roll. Smiling silently at the girl scarfing down the bread, Ino took a bite of his own. The two continued down the street, eating their rolls in silence, content for the time being.

The rest of the night was spent training and going over the finer details of Ino's hand signs. They discovered a few more twists and bends in the motions before giving up for the night and returning to Ino's apartment.

Changing into the nightwear was still an awkward event, with Naruto at one point walking around completely topless, flaunting her chest, and teasing Ino. Ino had screamed bloody murdered, prompting a few neighbors to come and knocked on the door and see if everything was okay.

"Is everything all right, Yamanak-san?" an elderly woman asked after Naruto had opened the door a crack to peer outside.

"Everything's fine! Why do you ask?"

"We thought we heard a man yelling," an older man replied, brow furrowed.

Naruto nodded again. "Yeah, it was just the tv. Sorry to concern you."

The older man frowned, not believing. Very rudely he pushed the door open, revealing a still half naked Naruto.

Covering her chest reactively, Naruto slapped the man across the face, his nose having already begun to bleed. "Pervert!" she screamed and slammed the door literally into the mans face.

The man fell backward and the door swung open from the rebound, revealing herself to the five other people standing outside. "All of you are perverts!" she cried as she noticed the elderly woman sporting a nosebleed of her own.

She slammed the door again before throwing her arms up in the air in frustration.

Ino's head appeared from his bedroom. "You handled that well," he stated dryly before walking out and approaching Naruto. "Thanks for flashing my neighbors."

"That old man pushed the door open," Naruto grumbled and grabbed the large t-shirt she had worn the night before, tugging it over her head. "Dirty old man!" she spat. "I'll be happy if you never see that guy again!"

Ino raised an eyebrow at Naruto's reaction. "He saw my body, not yours, Naruto," he said. "I don't see why you're getting so upset."

"Because I feel violated and now that pervert's seen you half naked and that's not right! He shouldn't have seen that!" Naruto explained through her anger.

"You're pretty upset about something you've been doing to my body yourself," Ino stated dryly.

"But that's different," Naruto mumbled under her breath.

"How so?" Ino asked.

"I don't know, it just is." Naruto crossed her arms over her chest, still upset. "It's just different."

Ino shook his head, not understanding the reasoning. Here Naruto was, looking at his real body, and yet when someone else saw it, she was pissed about it?

"You don't make any sense," Ino muttered and headed back to his room. "Go to sleep. We have a lot more training to do tomorrow."

Naruto shook her head, confused herself by her own reaction. "Yeah, sleep."

"I'm surprised at how little upset you are about that old guy seeing your body topless like that," Naruto said the next day, as she rested her head on her hand. They had dressed in the same clothes as the day before, and to Naruto's surprise, Ino didn't complain about the smell. Again, no showers were taken, another thing Ino didn't complain about, and something else that surprised Naruto.

"He's seen me topless before. He barges in all the time," Ino replied, frowning slightly. "He didn't see anything new so stop dwelling on it."

"Why don't you pound him for it though?" Naruto retorted.

"He's an old man, Naruto, I'm not going to beat up an old man," Ino replied, sighing at Naruto's attitude.

Naruto snorted and rolled her eyes. "Just not right," she muttered, flopped to the ground, and stared up at the slow moving clouds. She rested her hands behind her head. "So what do we need to go over today."

"I think we should just go over the entire thing again and make sure we didn't miss anything and you know it all before we start trying to do it faster," Ino suggested.

"We'll never get this done before my mission," Naruto muttered and sighed.

Ino dropped the scroll onto Naruto's stomach, catching her by surprise. "Sit up, we need to get to work."

Rubbing her stomach and glaring at Ino, Naruto sat up. She didn't like how slow things were progressing. "Today is day two . . . and if by tomorrow we haven't switched back, Tsunade's gonna give my mission away."

"Why does this mission mean so much to you? It's just one mission?" Ino asked curiously.

"Because I did a mission there before, a number of years ago. . . I made a. . . friend there, and I want to go back and see them," Naruto explained. "It's been nearly ten years."

"So stop being so Shikamaru like and get to work!" Ino demanded, stomping his foot. He normally would've kicked Naruto, but that would only damage his real body and that wasn't something he wanted.

Naruto pushed herself to her feet, standing across from Ino. A cool breeze swept past and she closed her eyes, relishing in the feeling, her long hair swaying to the side. "All right, time to get to work."

"All right. . . time to go to bed," Ino groaned, rubbing his side to sooth an ache.

They had spent the rest of the day training in solitude, still getting little accomplished. Upon trying to speed up her hands, Naruto had fumbled over the different hand signs. The sun had gone down three hours earlier, making the moon lit training much more difficult.

"ARGH!" Naruto shouted in frustration, clutching her hair in her hands. "This is ridiculous! How have we not gotten any closer?"

"I told you, it took me about three years to learn it," Ino muttered. "I'm sorry, Naruto, but you've got to forget about that mission."

Naruto growled loudly, clenching her fists. "I'm going to fix this! Going to fix this, fix me, and fix you!" she stated fiercely. She exhaled, relaxing and whispered, "And then I'm going to take a bath."

Ino sighed, scratching his forehead. "Bath sounds nice right now," he said. "If we don't change back by twelve tomorrow, then we'll have to go to Tsunade again."

Glaring at Ino, Naruto crossed her arms over her chest. "We'll see about that," she growled defiantly.

"Come on, you stubborn idiot," Ino muttered. "Lets get some sleep, we'll start again early in the morning."

"You're a stubborn idiot." Naruto pouted and yawned. She was sapped and couldn't wait to go to sleep. It was truly annoying how little stamina Ino had. Her clone shook its head before popping out of existence. The extinction of her clone overwhelmed her with exhaustion and she found herself dropping to her knees, her head swimming with dizziness.

Ino was at her side in a second. "You all right, Naruto?" he asked, placing a hand on her back gently.

Shaking her head, Naruto tried to grin. "Yeah, just using that clone all day really wore me out," she explained. She inhaled deeply, trying to calm the swirling in her head. "You really need to train more, Ino."

"Yeah, yeah, you keep saying that," Ino groused and sniffed at clothes he was wearing. He grimaced. "I get the point."

"I think I'm good," Naruto mumbled and pushed herself to her feet. She stood still for a moment before crumpling to the ground, her knees having given out beneath her. Her eye sight darkened and she was suddenly unconscious.

Ino sighed and hurried over to his real body. Kneeling beside Naruto, he shook the sleeping girl lightly, receiving no response. He checked her pulse in her neck, finding it stable. Snorting in annoyance, Ino easily lifted Naruto into his arms, and began the walk back to his apartment.

* * *

Naruto woke slowly and rubbed her forehead as she sat up. She was back on Ino's couch, still fully dressed. "Ino?" she called out.

Ino entered from the kitchen, glass of water in his hand. Tired, he held the glass out for Naruto. "We need to go over to your place and pick up some clothes. I can't keep wearing this training outfit," he said.

Naruto nodded and started to drink.

"And then I'm taking a shower," Ino added.

Naruto spat out the water, spraying her legs. "Whoa! I thought we went over the whole shower thing?"

"It's been nearly three days without one. I'm sweaty, I'm dirty, I stink. I want a shower," Ino stated with all the seriousness that he could muster.

"I don't want you seeing me fully naked!" Naruto burst, and swung her legs off the couch. She attempted to stand, but failed and crumpled abruptly to the floor, exhausted.

"A small price to pay," Ino intoned.

"FOR YOU!"

"Look, it's not like I haven't seen your thing by now," Ino replied. "Me taking a shower will be no different."

"Yes it will! You'll be alone with it! And wet! And nude! And wet!"

"You said wet already," Ino mumbled.

"I don't care!" Naruto shouted as she tried to pull herself back onto the couch. "I don't want you violating my body!"

"What makes you think I'm going to violate your body!" Ino retorted angrily, large fists clenching. "If anyone's going to violate a body, it'll probably be you violating mine!"

"Hey, that's not fair!" Naruto countered. "I'm a guy! I can't help those things!"

"Sicko pervert," Ino muttered. "Of all the people to end up in my body."

"It could've been worse. Could've been Kakashi or Lee."

Ino shuddered at the thought. "Lets. . . not talk about that possibility anymore and just go to your apartment," he said, and extended a hand to Naruto.

Groaning, Naruto reached out and took the offered hand. She was easily lifted to her feet, though her legs still wobbled beneath her. She grabbed Ino's arm with her other hand to stable herself. "I'll just hold onto you til I get my leg strength back," she suggested.

Ino raised an eyebrow at her. "People are gonna get the wrong idea seeing you latched onto me like this."

Naruto looked up at Ino coyly. "And you have a problem with that?" she asked sweetly. "Girls will be jealous of you, clinging to my arm like this." She squeezed her real body's arm for emphasis. "Wow, my arms are huge!" she exclaimed, surprised by how big her real arms were. She squeezed them again.

Ino hung his head, yanking his arm free.

Naruto collapsed to the floor under the weight of her body once again. "Ow. . ." she mumbled as she crawled back onto the couch as best she could.

"How about you just tell me where your apartment is and I go get clothes by myself?" Ino suggested in exasperation.

Naruto slumped into the couch, exhaling in exhaustion. "That sounds like a good idea," she breathed, arms and legs aching.

* * *

Ino walked down a street of Konoha, In the direction of Naruto's apartment. He had left the girl on his couch, groaning and moaning like a baby.

His clothes were covered in dirt, and reeked of women's deodorant to cover up the three day without a shower smell. He ignored the looks he was receiving as best he could; some were cold, some where friendly, and quite a few were hungry. Ino wrinkled her nose at a pair of girls in skimpy clothing as they walked past, the two eyeing him like starving beasts.

Were girls really this attracted to Naruto, Ino wondered. Did they not know how much of an idiot he really was, or how annoying he could be? Swiping the hair out of his face, Ino moved quickly away from the two girls. He was used to guys looking at him in that way, but to have girls suddenly giving him the hungry, horny look, made Ino feel rather uncomfortable.

"Naruto."

Ino recognized the cool, near emotionless voice immediately. He tried to remain calm. It wasn't every day that Sasuke Uchiha chose to spoke to anyone, and typically if he did, it was to either Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, or the Hokage. Sure, he wasn't talking to him as Ino, but still, to be able to talk to Sasuke was a treat to anyone.

Grinning widely, Ino spun around to face the last Uchiha. Black hair longer than Naruto's, his Konoha headband kept it out of his eyes and to the sides of his face. A black cloak covered his entire body, the fan symbol of the Uchiha family centered on the back. It hid his body, outfit and the dangerous weapons underneath, specifically his chokuto: Kusanagi(1).

Ino tried not to blush, thinking about what Sasuke's body looked like beneath the cloak. It had been many years since he'd gotten over his crush, but it still was tucked in the back of his mind how good Sasuke had looked. It didn't feel right to be attracted to the Uchiha while in a guys body though, especially Naruto's.

Sasuke met Ino's eyes with his own pure black ones.

"Sasuke," Ino acknowledged as cooly as he could.

The last Uchiha brushed past Ino, who gaped in amazement. Was that all there was? Sasuke didn't have anything else to say except 'Naruto'?

Sasuke stopped and looked back, meeting Ino's eyes once more and Ino understood that he should follow.

Catching up, Ino fell into step beside the quiet Jonin. The two walked in silence for a couple of minutes, through the night life civilians of Konoha. They garnered many amazed and awed looks from people; two of the most famous and powerful ninja in the entire world, casually walking down the street was always a sight to behold.

Naruto was always easily recognizable to the crowds, his blonde hair sticking out like a sore thumb. Sasuke was much harder to notice, usually hidden under his cloak and avoiding large crowds. He stayed in the abandoned Uchiha neighborhood, preferring to live alone.

The two walked until they reached the bridge leading to training area eight. Sasuke stopped, prompting Ino to do the same.

In the dark of the night, Ino tried desperately not to wring his hands together in anxiety. He took a deep breath, relishing the cool air.

"Where's Atsuta?"

Ino blinked and reached behind his back, realizing the blade wasn't there. "I guess I left it at home," he muttered.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Ino. "It's not like you to leave it behind so carelessly, Naruto," he replied.

Inhaling deeply, Ino said nothing, unsure of what he should, and trying desperately not to stare into his dark eyes. He blushed uncomfortably.

"I've been told that you've been given a mission in Spring Country," Sasuke said and for the first time his hands exited the cloak to rest on the bridges railing.

Ino's eyes immediately found the ruby red ring Sasuke worn around his right ring finger. The kanji for 'bloody' was written in the middle.

Scratching the back of his neck, Ino coughed nervously. "Yeah, Spring Country."

Sasuke nodded. "I had a mission in the surrounding area recently. Things are not as peaceful as we would hope. There are rumors of war. The surrounding nations, particularly the Land of Thunder, don't want Princess Yukie to become the Queen. At the moment they view Spring Country as an extension of their own land. They believe Yukie's ascension will further forestall any attempts to fully acquire the land as one of their own countries."

Ino nodded, listening carefully. He didn't want to interrupt Sasuke.

"In addition, Spring Country has become very valuable since the snows melted away, their technology something to be desired. When Yukie becomes Queen, she, of course, intends to give that technology to our country."

"Another reason the Land of Thunder wouldn't want her to become Queen," Ino added.

Sasuke's hands disappeared beneath his cloak again. "Strange weather as well," he muttered.

"What do you mean?" Ino asked, glancing at the sky. It had been typical Konoha weather that day.

The Sharingan user was suddenly walking away. "Take warm clothes."

"To Spring Country?"

"You'll understand when you see," Sasuke said before vanishing into the shadows. The last thing to disappear was the fan symbol on his back.

Ino sighed deeply, not liking what he had just heard. Being in Naruto's body was getting more and more complicated by the minute.

* * *

Next Time: Chapter 4 - Playing The Part  
Mission to Spring Country in danger of being given away, Naruto must convince Ino to go along with her new plan.

A/N: This chapter was a bit more serious than the last, more about the troubles and how hard learning the technique is. Sorry this took so long for me to do, I just got caught in a funk for about a week before churning out the last 5 pages of this in a matter of a day. Hope you guys enjoyed it! Tell me what you thought!

In the first Naruto movie, when they were going to Snow/Spring Country, they had to take a boat, so I'm assuming that Snow/Spring Country is an island and that it's somewhere North, above Thunder Country.

1. Sasuke calls his Chukotu 'Kusanagi' though it's not the original one. Orochimaru had the original one in his mouth . . . apparently.


	5. Chapter 4: Playing The Part

Ino stepped into Naruto's apartment, reeking of women's deodorant. He paused in disbelief. The place was . . . immaculate.

To say Ino was surprised would be an understatement. Naruto had lived alone his, now her, entire life; no adults around to order her to clean her room, so to see the apartment so clean was, of course, unexpected. It was bigger than Ino expected as well. He was impressed with its size, two times as large as his own, it was clear to see that Naruto was making a whole lot more money than him. The living room alone was almost as big as his entire place.

Ino sighed. "Must be all the A and S Ranked missions . . ." he muttered and made his way into the kitchen. He gaped at it as well. It was near spotless and full of everything a master chef would dream of. A full stove, two ovens, a professional knife rack, and a massive refrigerator, no doubt crammed with ingredients and other assorted goodies.

Ino smiled at the adorable ninja magnets covering the refrigerator doors. He fiddled with a magnet shaped like a katana, turning it over as if it were ready to stab downward. Pulling open the fridge, Ino was shocked to find it almost empty. A lone carton of milk, a small block of cheese, and a couple bottles of water made up the contents. There was no meat, no vegetables. It was pathetic; a waste of space.

Shaking his head and closing the fridge, Ino made his way back through the living room, back to what had to be Naruto's bedroom. It was definitely bigger than the one at his apartment, and there even appeared to be a walk-in closet. Rubbing his hands together, Ino moved to check it out. He slid open the closet doors, and immediately marveled at how large it was. And how empty. Naruto had used only half of the walk-in closet, clearly made for two. Ino sighed wistfully, knowing he could fill the entire thing with all his clothes.

"Black, orange, black, orange, orange, orange, black, dark blue," Ino muttered as he looked through Naruto's clothes selection. He snorted in annoyance. "What a great selection you have here, Naruto," he added sarcastically.

"Purple, purple, purple, black, blue, purple," Naruto grumbled, searching Ino's closet. "What a crappy selection . . ."

She was wearing a large towel around her midsection, her long, wet hair clinging to her shoulders and dripping water onto the floor. Immediately upon Ino's departure, Naruto had slowly dragged herself to the shower. After painstakingly stripping herself, she had posed in front of the mirror, checking Ino's body out completely. To say she was impressed would have been an understatement. Ino's body was a near picture of perfection. It was no wonder that every guy, outside of Sasuke, Shino, and herself, were so into the Yamanaka girl.

"Brown? Really, Ino?" she asked, incredulously, to an Ino that wasn't there. She sighed, sliding all the outfits aside on their hangers, intending to look deeper inside the closet.

She stopped, eyes widening, breath caught in her throat. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen and to find it in Ino's closet of all places was a miracle in itself. Its existence in this place had to be a mistake. It wasn't in Ino's style at all to own something that looked so good to Naruto. Sure, Ino was sexy in the typical colors and clothes, but this was . . . this was as if seeing her father, the Yondaime, come back to life before her very eyes yet again. (1)

Naruto blinked though, brow furrowing in thought. It looked familiar suddenly and her shoulders slumped at the realization. It was something she had given to Sakura as a birthday present, and here it was in Ino's closet, hidden away. Angrily, Naruto slammed the hanging clothes back together, once again hiding it from view.

She tore the one blue outfit off it's hanger and smashed the closet door closed.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I  
wouldn't be writing this fic.

"Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the  
most difficult thing in the world."

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A Mind Bending Inconvenience

A Naruto Story

By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place AFTER the Naruto series, AFTER Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren't dead in the Manga at CHAPTER 356 (when I started this) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic. Thank you for reading and your reviews, they mean a lot.

Thanks kindly to Corwin, my far away friend, for helping again. Your input and corrections are greatly appreciated.

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Playing The Part**

"I'm back," Ino announced as he entered his apartment. He was wearing one of Naruto's blacker outfits, with only the sleeves orange.

Naruto sat-up from where she had been laying on Ino's couch. She looked refreshed, clean, wearing one of Ino's blue ninja garbs.

"Everything go okay?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, Naruto, everything went fine. I survived the great ordeal of going to your apartment and coming back without you. It was tough at some points, not blurting out to the village that I've been in your body for the past two days," Ino bit out sarcastically. "I thought about taking advantage of a couple guys as well, made some passes at them, but they apparently weren't into you that much."

". . . I hate you so much right now."

Ino brushed Naruto's comment off with a girlish wave of his hand. "I did run into Sasuke-kun though. Or more he ran into me. Well, we didn't really run into each other so much as-"

Naruto shook her head, long hair swinging. "You're rambling, Ino. What did Sasuke say? If that bastard said anything that is."

Coughing, Ino nodded. "Right, sorry." He looked around the room briefly. "Where's Atsuta? He was wondering why I wasn't carrying it. Why would that matter?"

Naruto palmed her face. "Idiot . . . Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

"What's the big deal with not having Atsuta?" Ino asked again.

"Just . . . from now on . . . don't leave this place without it," Naruto ordered.

"You act as if you'll die without it, Naruto."

"Die? No . . . but I'd definitely lose something very important . . ."

Ino blinked. "Riiiiight . . . whatever . . . Anyway, Sasuke-kun just told me something about Spring Country and the Lightening Country butting heads . . . Princess Yukie becoming Queen, and to bring warm clothes when I go?"

Naruto nodded to herself and allowed herself a moment of silence to think. She looked up at Ino, a pure realization formed in her eyes.

"You listen really poorly."

"I'm sorry! It's just, how often does Sasuke-kun talk to me!" Ino exclaimed.

"He wasn't talking to YOU, he was talking to ME, who is YOU, but still ME," Naruto retorted and slumped further into the couch.

"Now allow me to show you how my mind works," she continued. "Obviously, from what you've said, Lightening Country wants Spring Country to be a part of their land, along with Spring Country's superior technology. Princess Yukie, a good friend of ours, intends to give that technology to us once she becomes Queen, thus Lightening Country intends to stop this."

Ino gaped, eyes wide. "Ho-how'd you know? I mea-yeah, that's-that's pretty much what Sasuke-kun said," he mumbled. Did Naruto and Sasuke really think so much alike?

Naruto closed her eyes and inhaled, looking far more wise than usual. She nodded. "Hmm . . ." She opened her eyes and looked at Ino seriously. "Because that's what  
they said in the MISSION BRIEFING I had two days ago!"

Gritting his teeth, Ino fought the urge to punch Naruto in the face. "Can't do it . . . not to my body . . ." he muttered.

Rubbing her forehead, Naruto sighed. "It's likely he figured that my report didn't have some of that information, but what I don't understand is the 'bring warm clothes' comment." She snuck a glance at Ino. "Why bring warm clothes to Spring Country?"

Ino said nothing, looking Naruto up and down. He sniffed the air before crossing his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes, and pursing his lips. "You took a shower, didn't you?"

Standing up, Naruto looked Ino up and down as well. "So did you," she retorted, copying Ino's gesture.

Ino faltered, suddenly turning red. "Uh . . . well then . . ."

"I think we'll just leave things left unsaid," Naruto stated coolly. "Agreed?"

"Agreed."

They stood in silence for a moment before Naruto broke it, saying bluntly, "You've got a really nice ass."

Ino coughed, trying not to blush or get angry. "So do you."

"Thanks! I grabbed yours a couple times."

"What?" Ino exclaimed angrily, fists clenching.

Naruto grinned and gave a thumbs up. She flopped back onto the couch, putting her hands behind her head. "Let's hurry up and hit the sack then, yeah?"

Ino blinked, still peeved but taking note of Naruto's suddenly more subdued demeanor. "Uh . . . yeah," he mumbled suspiciously. He would figure out a way to get back at Naruto.

"I gotta get your technique down before noon tomorrow," Naruto stated. "Unless . . ." she trailed off, lost in thought once again.

"All right then," Ino mutter nervously. He didn't want to know what Naruto was thinking. "I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, Naruto."

"Wait."

Ino winced at the command, almost knowing that nothing good could come of what Naruto was about to say.

"I've got . . ." Naruto was sitting up now, eyes wide, as if searching. ". . . a plan"

Ino's shoulders slumped, face disheartened. "A plan? A plan for what, exactly?"

"If we can't switch back in time tomorrow, Tsunade's going to give my mission away, right?" She was pacing in front of the couch, ticking a delicate finger against her chin.

"Yes, we've gone over that," Ino replied dully. "What's this idiotic plan of yours?"

"You pretend to be me, obviously," Naruto declared as if it were the most intelligible thing in the world. "If we can't switch back, you and I go into Tsunade's office and convince her that we have."

"Goodnight, Naruto," Ino stated blandly and made for his bedroom.

"Hey, wait!" Naruto exclaimed.

"No, Naruto! I'm NOT doing that for you! It's stupid! There's no way that would work! Just forget about that mission!" Ino shouted, still leaving.

Naruto dropped back onto the couch, crossing her arms over her chest. "If you don't do this, I'll tell your father that we slept together."

Ino stopped, turned around, and trotted back to the couch. "I'll cut off your dick if you do."

Naruto stopped. "Touché . . ."

"We done here?" Ino asked. "Cause I'd like to go to sleep."

"It's an S-Ranked mission, Ino."

Ino paused, only briefly, but just enough that Naruto took notice. "So?"

And Naruto knew that she had him. "What was the last S-Ranked mission you had?" she asked curiously, though she pretty much knew when it was.

Ino said nothing. The last official S-Rank mission he'd been a part of was back during the Akatsuki attacks, against Hidan and Kakuzu. It hurt him to think that he had done pretty much nothing on that mission. Sure she had taken part in the Great War, but so had everyone else. It made it hardly anything worth bragging about.

"Hmm . . . but yeah, I guess you're not ready for another S-Rank," Naruto declared and shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well. You're right, my idea was stupid."

"I so too am ready for a S-Rank mission!" Ino snarled and she leaned over the back of the couch, glaring at the standing Naruto.

Naruto rolled her eyes and sat back down. "Whatever, Ino, it's probably for the best that you don't go on this mission. You'd only end up damaging my body. And that's the last thing I want, obviously. My body is very precious. That's what all the ladies always say.

"It was stupid of me to even think of us going on that mission like this," he concluded with bravado.

Still leaning over the couch, Ino grinned dangerously. "Tell me . . . how exactly do you act around Tsunade-sama? What all do I need to know? I'm gonna prove to you I can handle this!"

Naruto couldn't hide her own grin. "If I know that Baba as well as I do, and I know her pretty well, I know exactly what she'll do."

* * *

"Oy! Tsunade-obachan!"

Said woman blinked in surprise at the sound of Naruto's voice proclaiming her a grandmother. Her eyes narrowed as the doors to her office burst open. "Naruto?"

"You got it!" Ino exclaimed, grinning as stupidly as he could.

Tsunade raised a slim eyebrow at the boy. She rose from her chair. "Guards, if you'll give us a moment alone," the Hokage order to the two ANBU men standing at the sides of the door.

They nodded, and immediately vanished in dual puffs of smoke.

Ino kept grinning before stretching his arms and placing them behind his head. "Ino and I got it fixed, Obachan! I'm back to being me! Was there ever any doubt?"

"Is that so? I'm glad to hear that," Tsunade stated and walked around her desk, approaching Ino. "But I have to ask . . ."

"E-eh, ask . . . uh, ask what? If it's about . . . uh, about my mission, I'm more than ready to go!" Ino stuttered, nervous at Tsunade's imposing figure.

The Fifth Hokage put her hand on Ino's shoulder, causing the boy to almost collapse under the strength. "I wanted to ask if you'd want to get some ramen to celebrate."

"Yosh! Ramen!" Ino yelled as enthusiastically as he could, hoping it would force Tsunade to back away. "The perfect pre-mission meal!"

"You're never too tired for ramen, Naruto," Tsunade stated with a smile. "Or should I say Ino?"

"Huh? No!" Ino snapped. "I'm me!" He laughed stupidly and punched the side of his head. Wincing, Ino rubbed the spot.

"What's your favorite bowl of ramen then? Tsunade asked, putting more pressure on Ino's shoulder.

Ino grit his teeth against the strength. "I can't pick a favorite bowl of ramen, Obachan! They're all too good!"

Silently, Tsunade removed her hand from Ino's shoulder. "Good answer. It was a trick question," she intoned. "But Naruto could have told you to say that."

Ino frowned. "I AM Naruto," he replied and grabbed the First Hokage's necklace.

"I took this from you after I won the bet we had the first time we met."

Tsunade inhaled silently through her nose.

"I was gonna die because of Kabuto, but you saved me, and I took it," Ino finished in all seriousness. He was finding himself growing more into the part. It wasn't  
uncommon for Ino to play the role of another person. In many missions, using his Mind-Body Switch, he would have to act exactly like the person he inhabited. Acting  
was a major part of Ino's life and playing the part of Naruto wasn't as hard as he had initially feared.

"You saved my life first," Tsunade replied, returning to her chair.

Ino grinned.

"Where's Ino then?"

"At her house, reuniting with her parents in her real body," Ino replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. He cracked his neck with a simple turn of his head, relaxing  
as much as he could.

Tsunade nodded. "Soichiro."

An ANBU appeared immediately, kneeling before the Hokage's desk. "Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Check out the Yamanaka house and see if Ino Yamanaka is there," Tsunade ordered, staring straight into Ino's eyes for any sign of fear.

The ANBU nodded and disappeared.

Ino only smiled as Naruto like as he could. The idiot was smarter than he appeared.

Naruto rubbed her forehead. "Yes, mom . . ."

"And after you're done with that, you can help me prepare lunch," Ino's mom directed. "You're visiting again so soon. It's so nice to see you more often!"

"Yes, mom . . ." Naruto mumbled as she snipped a dead rose from its bush.

"And how's big Naruto-kun?"

"Yes, mom . . ." Naruto blinked then blushed. "I mean he's fine, mom." She viciously cut off another dead rose.

"He's such a big boy," Ino's mom gushed, clapping her gloved hands together.

Naruto grinned broadly. "Damn right he is!" she boasted loudly, raising her arms in a cheer. She coughed nervously and slowly lowered her arms. "Uh . . . I mean, 'Yes, mom.'"

Ino's mom smiled brightly at her 'daughter'. "I'm happy you agree, Ino-chan."

Shaking her head, Naruto brushed her ponytail over her shoulder. She could sense an ANBU appear on the roof and ignored him accordingly. Instead she looked to Ino's mom, a sudden question in mind. "Hey, uh, mom?"

"Yes, Ino-chan?"

"What does it mean if . . . let's say, someone gives someone a gift and that person gives that gift to someone else?" Naruto mumbled nervously.

Ino's mom raised an eyebrow. "Does the person who got the gift last still have it?" Naruto nodded.

"Well, that only means that the first person who got the gift didn't like it and the second person does," Ino's mom explained logically. "Otherwise the second person would've gotten rid of it as well, right?"

Scratching her head, Naruto suddenly looked skyward, lost in thought. The sun beat down on her face, warming it. Could Ino really like the present she, Naruto, had gotten Sakura?

"Not possible," Naruto muttered. "Or is it? Could Ino really like-"

"Stop talking to yourself, dear," Ino's mom intoned. "No wonder you have so many problems keeping a boyfriend," she added.

Naruto scratched the back of her head again, this time in embarrassment. "Uh, yeah, that's it, mom," she replied. "It's not cause I'm spoiled or bitchy or anything."

"Of course not," Ino's mom stated. "You're sweet, and smart, and beautiful."

Rolling her eyes, Naruto snipped another withered rose. "Yeah, sweet as acid," she muttered. "Burn your face off with sweetness."

* * *

Soichiro appeared in a puff of smoke, kneeling again. "Ino Yamanaka is tending the garden with her mother, as Uzumaki-san stated."

Tsunade nodded and Soichiro disappeared once again. The Hokage moved back to her desk. "I'd like to put you and Ino under surveillance for the next couple days," she stated.

"What! No!" Ino shouted and slammed his hands on the Hokage's desk. "What about my mission! I have to leave tomorrow! The whole point of me fixing this mess with Ino by today was so that I could go!"

"I'm sorry, Naruto, but I can't let you go," Tsunade stated and reached for a couple papers on her desk.

Ino's fist slammed down on the desk, pinning the papers in place. He glared vehemently into Tsunade's eyes. "I want this mission."

Tsunade smiled abruptly. "Now I know that you're Naruto."

Ino blinked, suddenly confused. "Huh? Of course I'm me!"

Shaking her head, Tsunade leaned back in her chair. AOnly Naruto would have the balls to angrily demand his own mission." She pulled the papers out from under Ino's fist and held them up to the blonde. "You're mission information."

Ino numbly pulled the papers from Tsunade's hand. A huge grin appeared on his face. "Yosh! I won't let you down, Tsunade-obachan!" he shouted and jumped over the Hokage, out the window behind her.

Tsunade raised her head, having ducked under Ino's jump, frowning slightly. "That boy . . ."

* * *

"Hiyah!" Naruto shouted and brought the knife down quickly. It cut through the sandwich easily, splitting it in half.

Ino's mom raised an eyebrow, amused by her daughter's action.

"Lunch is served!"

"You only made a sandwich, Ino-chan," Ino's mom stated.

"Is that not enough for lunch?" Naruto asked, holding up the two halves of the sandwich.

"Usually we make a little more than just a sandwich for lunch," Ino's mom.

Naruto took a bite out of her sandwich and chewed slowly, nodding her head. "Well, I'm good with my sandwich," she replied and took another bite. "Goooood sandwich," Naruto added and walked out of the kitchen while sticking her tongue out at Ino's mom. She tripped unceremoniously over the table and the two halves of her sandwich went airborne.

They were snatched out of midair as Naruto shouted in surprise and hit the floor with a heavy thud. "Ow . . . my breasts . . ."

"Yeah, be careful with those, would you?" Ino stated and took a bite of the sandwich. He offered the already bitten into half back to Naruto.

"InnnnnNaruto!" Naruto exclaimed and then cleared her throat uncomfortably as she climbed to her feet. She took back the offered half of the sandwich. "What're you doing here?" she asked through gritted teeth before taking a violent bite.

Chewing, Ino spoke around the food, "I'm leaving tomorrow for my mission. Just thought I'd stop by and tell you." He found himself suddenly dragged upstairs, away from the prying ears of Ino's mom.

"You did it?" Naruto asked anxiously. "You actually tricked Tsunade-obachan?"

"Yup! I leave tomorrow morning to make my way to the Northern seas and catch a ship to Spring Country," Ino explained.

"You mean 'WE' leave tomorrow morning . . ." Naruto stated and grinned.

Ino grinned a Naruto-like grin of his own.

* * *

Ino snapped awake and turned his head to see Naruto standing over him. "Get up. We're going."

Ino yawned and stretched. "What times is it?"

"Four A.M."

"FIVE!" Ino shouted and sat up in bed.

"I said 'four', Ino . . ."

"FOUR!"

"The quicker and earlier we get out of Konoha, the easier it will be for both of us to get away unnoticed," Naruto explained and tossed a heavy backpack onto Ino's stomach. "I've already packed for you, go shower and get dressed. We're leaving in 30 minutes."

Ino groaned and slumped back into the soft sheets of his bed. He realized then, that he might have bitten off more than he could chew with this mission.

* * *

Naruto and Ino raced through the treetops, their feet barely touching branches before leaping away. They were hurrying as fast they could toward the Northern seas and had been running the entire day since their speedy departure from Konoha. It was nearly three P.M.

"How much further would you say?" Ino shouted as he dove over a crooked tree branch. Atsuta was strapped to his back, bouncing with every leap he made.

"Maybe three more hours!" Naruto called back. "We've made good time!"

"I can't believe we just up and ran away from Konoha like we did!" Ino exclaimed. "People will wonder where I am!"

"I told your parents that you had a A-Rank mission and would be gone for a week!" Naruto replied and used a weak tree limb to swing. She landed gracefully on another branch before jumping away.

"You LIED to my parents?" Ino screamed and stopped abruptly.

Naruto halted as well and turned to Ino, arms crossed over her chest. "You LIED to the Hokage?" she mock exclaimed.

"That's different!" Ino jumped over to the branch Naruto was standing on. "My parents are my parents! They'll kill me!"

"And the Hokage won't?" Naruto retorted and shook her head, long blonde hair swishing. "We'd already been lying to your parents anyway; this is just one more  
on top of the rest. It's better that you have some kind of alibi instead of just disappearing, right?"

"Well, yeah, but . . . after a couple days, someone's going to figure out that I'm not actually on a A-Rank mission," Ino replied.

"Well then, I guess we should stop standing around and get moving if we only have a couple of days head start," Naruto said and jumped away. "Let's GO!"

Ino palmed his forehead, suddenly regretting ever agreeing to listen to Naruto's plans and worst of all follow them. He considered turning around and going back, but figured it was too late. He had made his bed, might as well sleep in it. "This isn't going to end well," he muttered and followed after his true body.

They arrived at the outskirts of a city by the Northern shores known as Hokugan. On the other side of the city were the docks and the ship which would take them to Spring Country. It wasn't a large city, but it was one of the bigger ports in the Northern countries. Plenty of trading ships passed by the docks, particularly between the countries of Earth and Lightening. It wouldn't be safe for two ninja from Leaf Country to try and simply make their way through.

Naruto stooped and lowered her pack to the ground. Unzipping it, she quickly rifled through its contents before pulling out two folded cloaks. She tossed one to Ino, who caught it easily. "Put it on and henge."

Ino nodded and quickly threw the cloak over his shoulders. He closed his eyes and henged away the whiskers on his face, turned his hair and eyes a dark brown. His  
Konoha headband vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Not bad," Naruto commented and slid her cloak on. In a puff of smoke, her entire body changed. She shrunk several inches, her hair turned a vibrant red, eyes an emerald green. Her breasts grew a little bigger and ass slightly rounder. "But THIS is a henge."

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Ino picked up Naruto's pack and heaved it to the newly made redhead. "Try not to get distracted by your new breasts."

Naruto grunted as she caught the pack, and zipped it closed again before sliding it over her shoulders underneath her cloak. "Don't be jealous, Ino. You know I'll only  
ever be distracted by yours . . . and Sakura's. And sometimes Kurenai-sensei's."

Ino's hand stopped inches away from Naruto's face. "When we're back in our normal bodies . . . I swear . . ."

Naruto smiled cheekily. "Alright, we move quickly and straight for the docks. No distractions. This city is ripe with Cloud and Frost ninja and the last thing we want to do is piss any of them off," she explained. Things might have been a little better between the larger countries, but the fact that they separated after the war had put tensions back to their usual high state. Akatsuki and Madara might be dead, but new Kage's were stepping up, or insurgents rebelling.

Ino nodded in agreement. He understood the risks. Two Leaf ninja caught sneaking through wouldn't be taken kindly, instead be taken as something of a suspicious nature.

The two quickly dashed down the hillside and toward the city limits.

"And occasionally Hinata's."

* * *

Naruto yawned, squeezing between a couple of pedestrians. They were hurriedly making their way through the city to the ports, where their ship hopefully waited. "You're tired? Ino asked, dodging around someone himself.

Hmm . . . yeah, I don't know how you sleep with these things," Naruto replied and yawned again. "I keep rolling over onto them and it woke me up every time."

Ino sighed and shook his head. You really are pathetic as a girl," he muttered. "When we get on the boat, we're resuming the training

"Of course," Naruto stated. "You think I want to stay in your body any longer than I already have?" she whispered.

"Yeah, well I can't wait to get rid of your penis," Ino shot back quietly.

"Why're you always threatening my penis? Can't you threaten something else?"

"How about your balls?" Ino suggested.

"You don't see me threatening to cut off your boobs, do you?" Naruto countered.

"That's because you like them too much."

Naruto nodded sagely. "That is true . . . it would be a crime to cut up your breasts," she said and looked down at her henged cleavage in admiration.

"Hi there."

Naruto and Ino ignored the speaker, moving steadily in the direction of the docks.

"I said, 'Hi there'," the man repeated, stepping in front of Naruto.

Naruto stopped and looked at the man, peeved. "What?"

"What's a perdy little lady like yerrself doin' wanderin' these parts 'lone?" he asked and grinned, showing dirty yellow teeth.

"I'm not alone, jackass," Naruto retorted. "I'm with this idiot, she added and jerked her thumb at Ino.

"What idiot?" the man sneered.

Naruto spun around, Ino suddenly nowhere to be found. "What!"

The man grabbed Naruto's arm suddenly and attempted to drag her off her feet.

Naruto leaned back, pulling the man off balance instead. Her hand snapped to his throat, clenching it tightly, cutting off all the air. "Where is he?" she snapped.

"I ain't tellin' you nothin'," the man gargled.

Naruto squeezed tighter and lifted the man off the ground, much to his surprise. "Where is he?"

The man weakly lifted a hand and pointed in the direction his friends had apparently taken Naruto's body.

"Good boy," Naruto replied and dropped the man abruptly. He clutched at his throat, gasping for air.

"Bitch!" he exclaimed before Naruto's foot slammed into his face, knocking him out cold.

Without warning, a hand covered Naruto's eyes and she found herself falling backwards. When the hand left, she blinked at the invading sunlight. "What's going on?"

"Who are you?"

Naruto spun around, coming face to face with a tall man. He had dark hair, a scar running across his chin, and was dressed in standard ninja garb. A Cloud headband  
was tied around his right forearm. They were on the roof of a building along the street Naruto had just kicked the man.

"Who I am doesn't matter. My friend's been kidnapped," Naruto explained.

"If he has any skill like you do, he should be just fine," the Cloud ninja replied. "They're nothing but common street thugs who grabbed your friend," he explained. "Now, who are you?"

"What do you care?" Naruto asked, eyes narrowing.

"Because I don't recognize you and you're clearly a ninja," the Cloud ninja replied. "From what village do you hail?"

"We're outcasts from Crescent Moon," Ino stated as he walked up to the ninja from behind. "What's left of it."

The Hidden Village of Crescent Moon, a little known and very small village, had been wiped out the previous year by Earth Country. Crescent Moon had attempted to claim a part of Earth Country's territory through an underhanded means and the Hidden Rock Village made an immediate response. No other country interfered in the offsetting war, even as Crescent Moon was completely wiped off the map and Earth Country took their land as their own. It had been like a man crushing an ant beneath his thumb.

"You're alright?" Naruto asked, looking her body up and down for any damage.

"Perfectly fine," Ino replied. "Two guys grabbed me from behind. Surprised me for a moment, but they were complete weaklings."

"Where are you Moon ninja headed?"

"The docks, we have a ship to catch," Naruto explained and stepped toward the edge of the roof. She looked down over the street. "We can't be late."

"Where are you headed?"

"Far away," Ino said and walked to Naruto. "Don't worry about us. We'll be out of your hair shortly."

"You Moon ninja were foolish to attack Earth Country . . ." the Cloud ninja stated. "Though it's too bad you failed."

Naruto looked over her shoulder at the Cloud ninja. "It was dumb of us to try," she lied, though it was still her honest opinion.

"My name is Sakuma."

"Good for you," Naruto replied and leapt from the roof, followed closely by Ino.

Sakuma remained and crossed his arms over his chest. "I have a feeling this won't be the last time we meet," he whispered to himself and grinned.

* * *

"The sooner we're on that boat and away from this city, the better," Naruto muttered. "That Cloud ninja was far stronger than he appeared. That was good thinking, telling him we were from Crescent Moon."

"I figured Cloud would be sympathetic with Moon since they hate Earth Country so much."

"So much for not attracting any attention," Naruto said.

"That's what you get for transforming into such a big breasted woman," Ino replied.

"Yeah, I suppose I should've just kept your normal body. That would've attracted no attention since you're so ugly," Naruto retorted and made a sloppy face at Ino.

"You're going to regret that one, Uzumaki . . ." Ino growled as they stepped onto the dock that lead to their ship. It wasn't large, but big enough to fit at least 15. It bumped against the pier it was tied to. "Not today... but soon."

Naruto grinned and approached the man tending to the boats deck. "Hello?"

The man turned and looked down at the small redhead. "Well hello there! May I help you, ma'am?"

"You're the ship heading to Spring Country, right?" Naruto asked.

"No, ma'am, Spring Country ships don't come 'round Hokugan ports," the man replied and grin, showing a couple of missing teeth.

Naruto smiled in return. "Sounds like this is our boat then."

"What?" Ino asked, looking utterly bewildered.

"This is our boat," Naruto repeated and gave Ino a very subtle wink.

"I'm confused though," the man stated. "I was told there'd only be one of you."

"Change of plans," Ino replied, and jumped onto ship's deck in a single bound.

Naruto shook her head and walked up the ramp that had been obviously laid out for them. She nodded at the man and looked off in the direction of the sea that separated them and Spring Country. A curious chilled wind swept through the air and she narrowed her eyes from the cold.

Ino stepped up behind her. "There's no turning back now."

"Nope," Naruto exhaled. Something didn't feel right and that didn't include the fact that she was in a girl body. "No turning back now."

"WE SET SAIL!" the man who had greeted them exclaimed and suddenly the ship deck was flooded with sailors, each performing a different task in order to get them on their way.

He stepped up to Naruto and Ino. "I'm Cap'ain Yasaku. Welcome aboard, Uzumaki-san," he said, and nodded at Ino then looked at Naruto. "But who might you be?"

"I'm Ino. Ino Yamanaka," she replied.

"It's a 'onor ta meet you both. Queen Yukie 'as always spoken very 'ighly of you, Uzumaki-san," the Captain said. "She'll be very 'appy ta see you." He frowned at Ino's  
silence.

Naruto crammed her elbow into Ino's side.

"Eh? Oh! Oh, yes. I'm looking forward to seeing her as well!" he exclaimed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

Naruto frowned. She was having a hard time not blurting out that she was Naruto and that she was the one looking forward to seeing Yukie. Ino had never actually met Yukie.

Naruto grabbed Ino's hand. "Come on. Let's go get settled in our rooms," she ordered and forcefully dragged Ino away.

"Uh . . ." Ino managed.

Naruto stopped at the doorway leading to the inside of the ship. "You have a point." The diminutive redhead spun around, giving the Captain a stern look. "Where's our room?"

Captain Yasaku grinned. "Will you two be sharing a room then?"

"It would make things easier, yes," Naruto stated and nodded.

Yasaku grinned wider, even more gaps in his teeth showing than before. "Of course. I'll 'ave one of my crew show you ta yer room," he replied. "We'll get on our way immediately."

Ino sat down on the creaky bed and sighed. The room was spacious enough, but consisted solely of a double bed, a small desk, an old wooden chair, and small dresser. It was hardly a fancy arrangement.

"Well, these are lovely accommodations. Not only that, but now the Captain thinks we're having sex. First Shikamaru, now the Captain. Who's next?"

"Who cares?" Naruto replied as she dropped her pack in the corner.

"I do!" Ino snapped. "I'd prefer it if people didn't think we were having sex, Naruto!"

"It's only one Captain! It's not like it's going to be spread all over Konoha or something. Shikamaru said he wouldn't tell."

"That's not the point!"

"The point is that we share a room so we can work on getting back to our normal bodies!" Naruto shot back.

"We didn't have to share the same room . . ." Ino muttered. "You're sleeping on the floor."

"You're gonna make your own delicate, fragile, body sleep on the floor?" Naruto remarked, with mock shock. "I hope your body doesn't get a bad back because of it."

"You're such a bastard, Naruto," Ino fumed. Naruto had already used that excuse before and he hadn't given into it then.

Grinning, Naruto removed her henge, her appearance returning to that of Ino Yamanaka. "And you're not as ugly as I said," she replied and posed provocatively.

Ino transformed back to Naruto's real body to hide the slight blush on his cheeks. "Bastard," he mumbled.

"All right," Naruto announced. "Let's get back to training."

Ino nodded, blush completely gone. "Right, let's go over the hand signals."

* * *

Sakuma looked down at the ship as it cast off and headed North. He stood upon the roof of a nearby warehouse, arms crossed over his chest. "Leaf ninja . . . what business do you have to the North?" he muttered to himself. He wasn't surprised when he was able to see his breath. The air around him was suddenly growing cold.

"Why didn't you kill them?"

"I was going to kill the girl before the guy showed up," Sakuma replied. "There was something about him . . . He was stronger than he appeared. Together they may have been able to take me."

"They're heading to Spring Country."

"I guess you'll be following them then there," Sakuma stated without looking at the speaker. His breath remained visible in the biting cold air.

"What makes you think I'm not there already?" the chilling voice whispered and suddenly the temperature began to warm.

Sakuma smiled to himself as the ship carrying the two Konoha ninja raced for the horizon.

* * *

Next Time: Chapter 5 Spring Country's Reception

Naruto and Ino are received by the soon Queen of Spring Country, and Naruto is amazed at what she finds has occurred since last she was there.

A/N: So, I'm not a big fan of this chapter. Didn't feel it was up to par with previous ones and really just wanted to get it out of the way so I could get the story moving along. The chapter moves really fast, which for me, is very uncommon. I tend to have slow paces to my stories. It's shorter than previous ones as well by about 10 pages. I suppose I should apologize for the reaaaaally long wait . . . so, sorry about that. This has been done for a long time, I just didn't get around to reading it over to typos and such.

In the first Naruto movie, when they were going to Snow/Spring Country, they had to take a boat, so I'm assuming that Snow/Spring Country is an island and that it's somewhere North, above Thunder Country.

Since right now in the manga (spoilers) there's the giant war going on, I've added a little bit about that and a little info about the aftermath, the villages splitting apart again.

(1) Everyone should know by now that Naruto is in fact the 4th Hokage's son. If you don't . . . I don't even know how that's not possible, but I'm sorry for spoiling it for you.


	6. Chapter 5: Spring Country's Reception

"Move the pinky up a little. Yeah, like that."

"This doesn't feel right at all. Is it supposed to bend like that?"

"Would you just stop complaining and do it already?"

"Hey, close your eyes and pay attention to what you're supposed to be doing! Let me take care of this!"

"If I don't watch, you're going to do it wrong! You're hands are all over the place! Here, give me your hands and I'll do it for you."

"Ugh, just sit down and let me do it. I'll never get it if you don't let me practice and get used to your hands."

"There's nothing wrong with my hands."

"They are really nice. I bet you can do a lot of great things with them."

"Yeah, you should feel privileged to experience them like you have."

"Whatever, you know I enjoy your body more than your hands."

"Yeah, if only your body was as nice."

"Hey, my body is great! I mean, just look at it!"

"I've seen it enough, can we just get back to your fingers. You need to curl them more and then hold it for a second."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, that's good, but pay attention to the pinky, it should be higher. And don't put your fingers there!"

"Okay, okay, geez, would you close your eyes already and let me work on this."

"Fine, fine."

Captain Yasaku stepped back from the door, shaking his head in amusement. "Ta be young and sexually active." Though he didn't understand how the young man didn't find the woman attractive. She was quite stunning, the dark red hair and quite large assets, though he knew it was a disguise. Perhaps she wasn't as sexy as she made herself to appear, which was too bad, as Yasaku was a great fan of that type of woman. He started up the stairs, heading for the deck.

"Hey," Naruto said and Ino opened his eyes from where he was sitting crossed legs, trying to meditate. They had unhinged, returning to their current real bodies .

"This hand signal kinda looks like I'm giving a hand job," she said and laughed at her curled fingers. She moved her hand up and down then ducked a thrown pillow.

"Pervert," Ino muttered. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Pssh, if my mind ever crawled out of the gutter, it would die of exposure!"

Ino groaned in exasperation, collapsing onto his back. It was going to be a long trip.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd have frozen to death."

- Mark Twain

A Mind Bending Inconvenience

A Naruto Story

By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place AFTER the Naruto series, AFTER Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren=t dead in the Manga at CHAPTER 356 (when I started this) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic.

Thank you for reading and your reviews, they mean a lot! If you enjoy the fic, please leave a review, even if it's a a two worded one, they're appreciated!

* * *

Chapter 5 – Spring Country's Reception

Naruto stretched her back, bending like a cat, and it popped softly. "Ah, man, this has been a pain."

"You? I'm the one sitting non-stop," Ino replied, stretching as well. He had been forced to meditate for the past two hours, something Naruto demanded he do. It was a part of the daily training Naruto had to put his body through in order to keep the Kyuubi under control.

"Well, next you're gonna do some physical training so that'll get you moving." There was a sly smile on Naruto's lips.

"What kind of physical training?" Ino asked warily.

"Swimming, of course."

"This is . . .!" Ino exclaimed before his head disappeared underwater, ". . . bullshit!" he finished once it popped up again.

"Swim faster, the boat's gonna leave you behind!" Naruto shouted. She was straddling the rail, trying hard not to laugh.

"The water . . ." head underwater, ". . . is freezing!"  
He was pumping his arms as fast as he could, diving beneath the glassy surface, vanishing for seconds before exploding out, absent of breath.

"I won't let you drown!" Naruto called, playfully kicking her legs. She could feel the eyes of most of the crew on her, some thinking she was crazy, the rest hoping she'd fall into the ocean and need rescuing.

"Damn straight . . ." head underwater, ". . . you won't!" Ino's words were as bitter as the air, which Naruto had noticed was steadily growing colder. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked off into the distance, hoping to catch a glimpse of Spring Country but knowing they weren't anywhere close.

"Only thirty more minutes!"

"Thirty . . . more minutes . . . my ass . . .!"

Why was it getting colder the closer their approached Spring Country? Naruto recalled the previous time she had sailed there, when it was Snow Country and how it felt like the air was going to freeze his lungs. This had that same feeling. She exhaled and watched wisps of her own breath appear in the air.

Sasuke had thrown out the warning to bring warm clothes. He must have known that things had changed, but what could've have done it? What could turn Spring Country back into its winter nightmare?

This wasn't just a protection mission, Naruto resolved. It was also to discover the truth. Yukie's happiness came with the snow melted and if it had returned, Naruto could only imagine how cold her heart might have become with it.

"Protect the Princess, save the Country . . . done it before, I think I can manage doing it again," she muttered darkly to herself. Wincing, Naruto covered her nipples with her hands, the cold air doing them no favors.

"So much for the serious mood I was going for," she said, hopping from the rail and hurrying back to the cabin, hands guarding her breasts from prying eyes.

"Hey . . .! Where are . . . you going . . .!"

* * *

"Iceberg, dead ahead!"

"Where have I heard that before," Naruto mused, rubbing her chin.

"I think the better question is, 'Why is there an iceberg close to Spring Country'?" Ino said and from where the two stood on deck, they could see the giant block of ice floating a short distance away. The ship easily avoided it, Captain Yasaku cackling with laughter as it did.

"No ice cube's gonna sink my ship!" he crowed.

"Well . . . it is a really small ship. Getting it to avoid anything that big isn't that hard . . ." Ino whispered to Naruto. After dragging himself out of the ocean, Ino had found Naruto putting on warmer clothes in their cabin. He had followed suit, drying off and hurriedly pulling on the pants, a long sleeve shirt, and heavy jacket.

Naruto crossed her arms, humming to herself. "I think it's safe to say that Spring Country isn't Spring Country anymore," she said, ignoring Ino's second comment.

"What do you mean?" Ino asked. The iceberg was broadside the ship, and it towered over them, blocking out the sun, easily five stories high. The ice was sheen and clear, freshly formed it seemed.

"Before it was Spring Country, this place was called Snow Country. The last time I was here, there was this dick dictator who was controlling the place and keeping it covered in snow and ice," Naruto explained then breathed hotly on her knuckles before rubbing them on her jacket, as if polishing them. "I kicked his ass, saved the Princess, saved the country. That's something you need to know about, actually. Wouldn't be good for you to show up not remembering how 'you' saved the day."

"Yeah, that's true," Ino said. The iceberg was behind them, but in the distance, a dozen smaller ones were floating along their course. "Looks like we're gonna be a little late, so we've got some extra time." She nodded at the impending blocks of ice.

"Okay, so, it all started with a movie . . ."

For the next thirty minutes, Naruto told Ino the story, explaining in detail everything as she remembered it. The people, the fights, everything, how Princess Yukie's name was actually Koyuki Kazahana, but she went by Yukie for short; that she was a famous movie star back then, and they had been hired to protect her from her uncle, who ruled Snow Country and wanted Yukie dead to cement his power. Yukie also had a special key that her uncle believed would reveal some hidden treasure when in fact; the treasure was a machine that would melt all of the snow.

"So after Sasuke jumped in, without my asking, and hit him with his Chidori, I managed to finish Doto off with my Rasengan. He got knocked him into this giant mirror thing, which broke and suddenly the machine turned on and all the snow started melting. Yukie decided to stay there and become their Princess but didn't give up acting."

"Yeah, I know! I love her movies!" Ino exclaimed, clapping his hands together gleefully.

"Could you do that a little more girly next time . . ." Naruto muttered sarcastically, though she was glad that Ino was also a fan of Yukie's films. She blinked, thinking for a second and realizing that being fans Yukie's films was the first thing she and Ino had in common.

"I'll act less girly when you stop reaching down to my crotch," Ino retorted and Naruto quickly removed her hand from her groin.

"I can't help it! It's so . . . empty there . . ." she mumbled, blushing embarrassingly.

"You don't have to tell me that. I keep wanting to adjust myself," Ino replied grumpily. "But it's a lot more awkward for you to be caught with your hands on your groin right now than it is me."

Naruto huffed in annoyance. She didn't like how Ino's body was reacting to the cold, especially the new parts she wasn't fully accustomed to. Glancing over at Ino, she could tell he was having the same problems, namely in the region of his groin.

"Got a cold boner?" Naruto asked, amused by Ino's growing predicament.

"Seriously, why is it doing this?" Ino growled, trying to stand in a way that didn't show off the bulge in his pants.

"Yeah, they're pretty 'hard' to control," Naruto joked with a toothy smile.

"You just keep chalking them up, Naruto, 'cause when we're back to normal I'm going to give you such a beating."

Naruto pressed her hands together, lifting them to her lips in mock thought. "Would that be a . . . 'long' and 'hard' beating?"

Ino grit his teeth. "And there's another."

"Geez, you don't have to be so 'hard up', Ino."

* * *

Night fall came fast, and with it, a halt to their travels. The captain wouldn't risk moving in the dark with so much ice in the waters, so the ship floated peacefully on the freezing ocean, bobbing with the gentle waves.

"Look, I should get the bed because I'm the girl."

Ino scoffed. "You couldn't be any less of a girl!"

"I'm a delicate flower!" Naruto snapped. "And of the two of us, I have the vagina in this room!"

"Oh, don't give me that!" Ino retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. He was standing in front of the bed, blocking Naruto from it. They had dressed down for bed, but quickly redressed, as the cold air had been too much to handle. Ino was wearing a white, long sleeve t-shirt and black orange sweats (a pair he had unhappily taken from Naruto's place), while Naruto was covered warmly with a thick purple sweater and plaid pajama bottoms.

They had surprised each other with how easily changing clothes had become. No longer was it an embarrassment (that they would admit), as both of them had seen everything the other had to offer more than enough already. There wasn't any misdirected anger toward one another when shirts and pants were removed, only a sense of priority, like a job to be done and tolerated.

Sharing a bed was another matter. While Naruto had little problem with it, Ino flat out refused. It was bad enough sharing a body with Naruto, he didn't want to have to share a bed as well. Naruto was still Naruto, there was no telling what kind of dirty things she might start doing while Ino slept.

"I can't sleep on the floor, I'll freeze to death!" Naruto bit out and to prove her point, she exhaled heavily. A thin mist appeared in its place, revealing how cold the room had become. Her teeth started chattering, almost comically, to help prove her point. "I think my nipples might freeze and break off! They might cut through the floor while I sleep, thereby creating a massive holes in the bottom of the ship, sinking us, and sending us to a freezing cold, watery death!"

Ino rolled his eyes at the absurdity, but he had to agree that the room was starting to freeze. He sighed in defeat, and before he could say a word, Naruto was dashing by, throwing herself into the bed. His lips pushed together in annoyance as he watched Naruto snuggle into the bed, wrapping the covers around her body.

"You can still sleep on the floor, if you don't want to share," she said blissfully.

"Move over," Ino ordered, lifting the cover so he could climb under. When he had, he rolled over, his back to Naruto, and curled up for warmth.

"Stop hogging the covers," Naruto said and pulled on them. "When you roll over like that, you're pulling them off of me."

"Yeah, well, that's just how I sleep," Ino replied and yanked on the blanket.

"Fine, then I'll just have to curl up next to you to keep myself warm!"

Ino sighed in frustration. "You have got to be the most annoying person I've ever met." Turning over to face Naruto, Ino blinked in surprise. There, not inches away, was her face. Her eyes were closed, Naruto having magically fallen asleep in a matter of seconds.

Ino blushed brightly as Naruto's warm breath softly hit his face. She was so peaceful, for once; it seemed a miracle she could be this calm. Ino had almost expected Naruto to sleep like she lived: chaotically.

If Naruto had been in her own body at that moment, Ino would have head butted her. Instead, Ino rolled over again, shaking his head in disbelief. How had he let this happen?

His tongue ran over his lips. The sight of Naruto's, his real lips, gently puckered, had made him wonder about the ones he currently had. They felt rough, dry, and bigger than his actual lips. He puckered them, and then pulled them in, as if fastening his mouth shut. His tongue dragged across them and he suddenly felt like a complete idiot. Raising a hand to his face, Ino rubbed away his embarrassment, replacing it with frustration.

This was all Naruto's fault.

* * *

Ino's eyes snapped open as he felt the boat absorb a strong wave. His vision tossed with it, and for a moment he was off kilter. Yawning loudly, he brought both hands to his face, massaging away the exhaustion and cold. It was with great horror that he felt morning's affect on his body, and immediately pressed his legs together in mortification. He started to rise, but stopped when he found a hand, not his own, resting on his shoulder.

Naruto was strewn out on her stomach, head lying on Ino's chest, right arm shoved under his shirt and through the neck hole. She was breathing as softly as the night before and seemingly dead to the world. In the middle of the night, Naruto must have woken; the sweater she had fallen asleep wearing was gone, leaving her in a slim white sleeveless undershirt. Her breasts were mashed against Ino's side and Ino let out a shuddering breath. This was too much.

"Naruto, wake up," he growled anxiously.

"I'll . . . never let you . . . go," she sleepily mumbled in return.

"What?" Ino snapped, confused. He sat up quickly, pushing Naruto away and scrambling from the bed. His blush increased tenfold and he stood over the bed, annoyed and humiliated. "Wake up, idiot!"

Naruto slowly made her way into the real word, blinking heavily and licking her lips. She scanned the bed, then the room, eyes finally landing on Ino. "I was dreaming about ramen . . ." she groaned and slumped back into her pillow.

Ino put his hands on his hips, not caring about Naruto's food fetish. "You were all over me! And where's your sweater, you're practically falling out of that shirt!"

Turning her head to Ino, Naruto tiredly looked up at him. "You should do something about that," she murmured after a moment, lifting a weary hand to point at Ino's crotch. "Don't expect me to help."

With a yell of frustration, Ino stormed off, leaving Naruto smiling pleasantly in bed.

* * *

"Twenty minutes!"

Naruto glanced up from where she was practicing hand signs. Having memorized how every sign looked, she was still having problems doing them in proper order, and making her fingers curve and bend the way they should. She was too used to her own hands, that adjusting to Ino's was becoming an issue. Her right pinky was the biggest problem, as she couldn't make it fully curl, something she attributed to an old injury Ino must have sustained.

She started working on bending the finger, seeing how far she could get it to go, but eventually gave up. Grasping her pinky, she rubbed it gently, as it had become sore in her trials.

Ino entered the room, dressed for the cold weather outside. His jacket was entirely black with a more formal appearance; he was to meet a future queen after all. While made to look formal, his outfit was still practical for ninja. Secret pockets lined the inside of his jacket's vest, filled with blades and shuriken. At a moment's notice he could be fully armed and ready to strike.

Naruto wasn't dressed as nice, bundling herself in a large blue coat, though Ino had helped apply dashes of make up to her face (much to her displeasure). They had to hold the appearance of two people from a higher class as the pre-coronation events were for the wealthy only. As such, they had created pseudo-characters for themselves to play.

Naruto had chosen the name Haruko(1), while Ino finally settled on Satoshi(2). They were the daughter and son of the Motou(3) clan, a noble family from a small village in the Land of Wind. It had taken a long time for Ino to pick a name, due to Naruto's constant refusal. His first choice had been Mamoru(3), but Naruto had shot it down, explaining that she once knew someone by that name; a real ladies man, overly cocky, and like to talk big while rarely backing it up. Other names Ino had picked, but Naruto had immediately approved. Kenta and Shouta had put Naruto into a giggling fit. That alone was enough to make Ino change his mind.

They had also chosen the Land of Wind, knowing that Gaara wouldn't mind the creation of a fake village. In order to look more like siblings, Ino henged away the whiskers on his face and lightened the color of his hair to match Naruto's, before slicking it back so it was flat and clean. When they walked out onto the deck, Captain Yasaku gave them a once over, nodding appreciatively at how they looked. He knew what they were, having been hired personally be Princess Yukie's security team.

As Naruto had begun to fear, Spring Country was no longer that. As the ship docked, she anxiously took in the island she had once saved. Every building, street, and home was blanketed in ice and snow; each tree was dead, bare of any leaves or anything resembling the color green. The air was shockingly cold, colder than Naruto remembered from her first visit, and she pulled her coat tighter around her body. Her nose was already cold and turning red, so she pumped a little chakra through her body to help keep it warm.

As they stepped off the boat, bags in hand, they were greeted by a pair of men, dressed in pure white cloaks; dark colored caps keeping their heads warm. Their expressions were solemn, business-like, and as Naruto and Ino stepped up to them, they nodded in greeting.

"Uzumaki-san?" the larger of the two asked. He was nearly twice as tall as Ino's body, which made Naruto's eye twitch in annoyance.

"Yeah," both Naruto and Ino replied in unison. They  
shared a glance.

"That's me," Ino said, and nodded at the man.

The giant of a man extended a hand which Ino quickly took and shook once. "My name is Ryouta Yamada," he said and Naruto giggled, "Second-in-command of Yukie-sama's security detail. It's an honor to finally meet you. Yukie-sama is very excited to see you."

Naruto frowned, annoyed that she wasn't the one receiving the kind Ryouta's kind words.

"We were expecting you to come alone, though; who is this lovely lady?" Ryouta asked, turned his attention to Naruto.

Naruto's mouth fell open, an uncontrollable blush rising in her cheeks. 'Lovely lady', what the hell? She wanted the 'honor to finally meet you' greeting! "Ino Yamanaka, it's a pleasure to meet you, Yamada-san."

"You as well, Yamanaka-san," Ryouta said and bowed his head. "Come, we must escort you to the castle. It's where all the nobles are staying. While we go, we'll inform you of what's happened and what we know."

"Sounds good, Yamada-san" Naruto replied and the group of four started away from the docks. "We need to tell you about us."

"Good, I will start," Ryouta started before they stepped onto snowy street. The fresh snow crunched loudly beneath their boots. "A couple weeks ago everything was as it should be. The sun was out, the weather was warm; this was Spring Country. And then, suddenly, it started getting cold."

"Are you saying that all of this," Ino gestured to the winter wonderland in disbelief, "happened in a couple of weeks?"

Ryouta nodded. "Yes, after the first week every plant on the island was dead and the snow was starting the stick. We searched daily for a reason for the snow's return, but couldn't find anything. The machine responsible for keeping our island warm was still functioning, nothing made sense. The next week was worse, it got so cold, the machine shutdown. There was nothing stopping it and . . . well, as you can see, Spring Country's been snowed in . . .

"After that, we started receiving threats to Yukie-sama. They said that if she became Queen, she would die. That's when we sent the request to Konoha, specifically for you, Uzumaki-san. We believe that the cold weather and continuing threats aren't some coincidence, but instead deeply connected. Yukie-sama's coronation is in four days and the closer it gets, the more threats arrive.

"Soon there will be an attack."

Naruto nodded to herself, her earlier suspicious confirmed. This was more than a protection job.

"Then we arrived not a moment too soon," Ino said.

The group was approaching the ice covered train station, a large locomotive was parked, steam pouring out of its smoke stack. It would take them up the long tracks, through the mountains sides, and to the castle, which sat at the summit of the island's giant plateau.

"I see your train's still working," Naruto noted, though she knew the truth before Ryouta explained.

"Our trains were built when the land was like it is now, so they're made for this kind of weather," Ryouta said, confirming Naruto's thoughts. "We'll have our own cabin so we can finish discussing things in private."

As they stepped onto the train, Naruto and Ino were surprised by its lavish interior. Clearly it had been made for high class passengers. Spacious hallways with cushiony rugs, the heat was on full blast, and Naruto suddenly felt like she was melting. Moving down the hallway, she unzipped her coat, seeing Ino was doing the same with his jacket. Ryouta and the other guard had unbuttoned their cloaks, revealing light blue armor underneath.

A couple of passengers poked their head out of their cubby. The man, blonde hair pulled back into a long braid, stared at them, visibly annoyed by having to wait. His company, a woman with light brown hair, cut neatly at her shoulders, was also frowning. As Naruto and Ino passed, they ducked back inside, recognizing that security was walking with them, though Naruto swore the man's eyes had lingered on her longer than necessary.

Ryouta ushered them into an empty cabin, and the four took seats, Naruto and Ino shedding their coat and jacket completely. Ino looked over at Naruto, afraid she might start sweating and ruin her makeup. Ryouta and his partner removed their caps, both of their heads covered in short, messy black hair.

When the door was shut, Naruto leaned forward. "So, do you have any suspects?"

"Unfortunately, we don't. Since the snow started over two weeks ago, we have reason to believe it's someone that has already been inside our country for some time and has perhaps made a name for themselves among our people. The arriving nobles are also suspects, as in the coming days, they will be the ones who will be having the most contact with Yukie-sama. Of course, the coronation is a public celebration, so if the enemy is hiding among the citizens, that would be their time to strike. Time is short, and the suspects many."

"I see," said Naruto, taking control of the conversation. It was her mission after all; Ino could follow along. "Well, In – " And she paused, catching herself from saying something stupid. Taking a breath, she started again, "Naruto and I will be uncover, as I'm sure you've already surmised by our appearance."

"Yes, had we not been expecting you on Captain Yasaku's ship, we would have never known who you were," Ryouta stated, leaning back in his seat. The entire train jarred for a moment, and they all shifted with its momentum as it began to move. "And we will be the ONLY ones to know of your nature, outside of Yukie-sama and Hayato Hiyashin, Head of Security, of course."

"Then perhaps your partner should give us his name," Ino said, looking purposefully at the guard that had said nothing.

Pulling his gaze away from the window and the moving scenery outside, the second guard gave Ino a condescending smile. "My name is Ryou Yamada, Ryouta's younger brother."

"And that is why I trust him," Ryouta stated coolly, slapping a hand on his brother's shoulder. His brother returned his attention to the window. "Now, what names are you to be announced as? Yukie-sama is awaiting each noble on this train, and they will be announced to the assembled crowd and her majesty before she greets them. She will know it is you because you will be escorted by us."

"I think she may recognize him," Naruto said, jutting a thumb toward Ino. "He doesn't look too different, but she won't know me."

Ino blinked and his dark blue eyes were instantly lighter. It didn't hurt to make smaller changes while he had the chance. "Our names are Satoshi and Haruko Motou.  
We're siblings of the richest family in our village, which is very small, but well guarded and respected in the Land of Wind," he explained.

"The name of your village?"

"Kansou(5)."

"Alright then, when we arrive, you will greet Yukie-sama as though you were nobles. You know what that entails?" Ryouta asked, then steepled his fingers.

"Bow, shake her hand softly, say a short hello, and step aside," Ino said with a confident grin.

"Good. Any sign that you aren't nobility and your cover maybe blown."

"Don't have to tell us that," Naruto said. "Don't worry, we're professionals."

"Some of us," Ino muttered.

Naruto rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "You keep thinking that."

"After the introduction, we'll show you to your rooms – " Naruto and Ino's attention perked at the prospect of separate rooms " – and then you must prepare yourselves for the night's dinner party. I hope I don't have to tell you that it's formal wear only. If you don't have clothes, we can provide some for you."

"What about our things?" Naruto eyed Ino's bag, which held Atsuta inside. Losing the sword wasn't something she or Konoha could afford.

"Your accoutrements will be brought to your rooms by castle attendants."

"Sounds good, Ta-san," Naruto said, branding the commander with a nickname that made her giggle to herself.

The two guards stood in and Ryou moved to the door. As he slid it open, his older brother addressed Ino and Naruto one final time. "We have to visit the other cabins and take down passenger names for security reasons. When we arrive at the castle, we will return and escort you out, as planned."

Naruto gave him a thumbs up and toothy grin, causing Ryouta to pause, momentarily confused. The giant commander finally nodded, stepped out of the cabin, and shut the door.

Exhaling heavily, Ino slumped in his seat. "Are you sure we can do this, Naruto?"

"Don't worry . . . we're professionals, remember?"

Despite his worry, Ino smiled. "Yeah, we are."

"So start acting like one and call me Haruko from now on, geez. Not even off the train and you're calling me the wrong name."

"Just practice the hand seals, idiot," Ino growled.

Naruto smiled and lifted her hands, starting the Mind-Switch Jutsu's signs. The smile never left her face.

* * *

"God, you're STILL doing it wrong! How can you be such an idiot?" Ino shouted, throwing his hands up in frustration. "How many times do I have to tell you? Boar, Bird, Boar, Dragon, Rat, Horse – "

" – Ram, Hare, Ox, Boar! Yeah, Yeah, I know the order, 'Satoshi-otouto(6)'!" Naruto bit out angrily. "Your hands are just weird! They won't let me perform the Rat correctly!"

"How did you ever become a ninja?" Ino demanded.

"Through hard work!" Naruto snapped.

Ino froze, regretting his words. He knew how hard Naruto had struggled when they were younger, to be a ninja, and how often he had failed. Naruto never seemed to have any talent as a kid and was always made fun of for it by the other students, Ino included. Naruto was 'worst in class,' 'the class idiot,' 'useless,' 'a failure,' 'a complete nobody.'

"Sorry, Na . . . Haruko-ane(6)," he said softly. "I didn't mean it like that."

Ino and Naruto had decided that she should be the older of the two, as technically, Ino's body was a couple weeks older. So Naruto while became Haruko-ane, Ino had in turn become Satoshi-otouto.

"Yeah, yeah, just get off my back. I'm trying as hard as I can," Naruto grumbled, practicing the Rat seal. Damn pinky wouldn't curl.

The train's whistle sounded and the two glanced out the window, seeing the outer wall of the castle coming into view over the horizon. It was so much different than Naruto recalled; hundreds of buildings and homes had been constructed outside the massive wall for citizens to inhabit. As the train past through the large village, Naruto scowled at all the snow and ice that coated the world. It was hurting the people, their lives; the nearby streets were almost bare of human life. Only a few people braved the weather, trudging through the deep snow.

When the train passed through the castle's wall, Naruto and Ino stared up in awe. It towered high in the sky, beautifully designed and built with stone and metal, and would have been almost impossible for an army to successfully assault. The backside of the castle had been built at the edge of the plateau, so attacking from behind was unfeasible, as the drop was over thirty stories.

The train started to slow and Naruto rose to her feet, pulling on her coat. "You ready?"

Exhaling noisily, Ino nodded. "As I'll ever be," he replied, sliding his arms into his formal jacket.

"Ok then, keep it together out there," Naruto said as she adjusted her hair, pulling the ponytail over her shoulder. The train came to a complete stop, jolting them off balance. "You keep it together," Ino retorted.

"I won't have a problem keeping it together, so you keep it together!"

"I am keeping it together!"

Naruto slid open the door to their cabin, sticking her head out to look down the hallway. Ryouta and Ryou were heading their way. She looked back at Ino, glaring. "Keep it together!"

Ino shook his head. "I feel like we've done this before . . ."

Ryouta and Ryou stepped up to the door and Naruto backed up, allowing them to enter. "You'll be announced fifth," the older brother said. They picked up their white cloaks and caps, having left them in the cabin with Naruto and Ino, swiftly putting them back on. After buttoning their cloaks, Ryouta nodded at his brother, who stepped out.

Naruto and Ino followed, and Ryouta fell into step behind them. They moved down the hallway until they were blocked, another couple of nobles standing in their way. It was the end of the line until another couple stopped behind them. Naruto wondered how many nobles had piled into the train and was suddenly grateful they were only fifth. Any further back and she might have started pushing people out of her way.

As they moved closer to the exit, they began to hear a voice bellowing over a microphone. It was a royal attendant, announcing the nobles' names for everyone to hear. Ryouta had mentioned that there would be a crowd, other nobles and castle attendants no doubt.

Glancing over at Ino, Naruto noticed his hands nervously sliding in and out of his pockets, as if trying to figure out what to do with them. With an exasperated sigh, Naruto reached over and grabbed Ino's hand, holding it tightly in her own.

Ino looked at the hand that had grabbed his, and then at Naruto, who was staring straight ahead, as though nothing had happened. She was focused on the task at hand, resolved.

The speaker was getting louder, only two more couples stood in front of them. Music was booming in the background.

"Keep it together," Naruto whispered.

Nodding, Ino gripped Naruto's hand firmly and swallowed.

The couple in front of them, the same nobles that had stuck their heads out earlier to glare, was stepping off the train. Ryou held out a hand, stopping Naruto and Ino from following.

The man with the long braid and blonde hair was announced as Takehiko Mino, the son of a noble from the Land of Lightening. He smiled and waved to the crowd in such a way that Naruto wanted to throw up. The woman with him, a beautiful creature with all the right curses and shapes was called next: Izumi Nakata. She too smiled and waved, but Naruto found her to be much more captivating.

Looking past them, Naruto finally spotted her. Princess Koyuki 'Yukie' Kazahana was even more spectacular than the last time she had seen her, which had been when her last movie had come out three years prior. Her hair was as dark blue and silky as always, now falling across her forehead and down to her shoulders, tied off into two short ponytails. Her blue eyes were filled with joy, matched only by the stunning smile she was giving Takehiko and Izumi. She was dressed in white, gold and blue, a ceremonial robe, and a richly crafted crown was secure around her head.

Naruto felt her breath stop and suddenly her confidence was shot.

Takehiko and Izumi bowed to the princess, and then extended their hands, shaking Yukie's briefly. A few words were exchanged and they stepped aside, joining the group of nobles that had also just arrived.

Ryou's arm moved and Ryouta was herding them out the door and into the cold. Ino stepped out first, pulling Naruto with him, their hands still joined, fingers tangled. As they strode across the platform, Ryouta and Ryou fell in behind them, and to Naruto's amazement, the happiness in Yukie's eyes and smile increased three times.

She could melt all this snow with that smile alone, Naruto had thought.

"Nobles Haruko and Satoshi Motou of Kansou Village!" the attendant's voice boomed through the speakers and the gather crowd of local and foreign nobles politely applauded. The music was blaring louder, muffling their applause.

Ino made the first move, lifting a hand and waving confidently at the crowd in thanks and Naruto hurried to do the same. The nobles were eating them up, a beautiful pair of siblings holding hands, showing their family unity. Finally they stood before Yukie and they bowed together to the soon to be Queen.

Yukie smiled back, her gaze lingering on Ino's face. To them, it was easy to see she was struggling to not embrace Ino right there. When she looked to Naruto, her happiness wasn't as bright, a little confusion replacing it. The princess snuck a peek at their tightly held hands and her smile dropped ever so slightly that only Naruto and Ino noticed.

Ino extended his hand to Yuki and she greedily accepted it. She leaned closer, saying, "It's a pleasure to see you again, Satoshi-san. I look forward to speaking with you later." Her words were covered by the music, so that only the three standing there could hear.

Giving a polite smile in return, Ino nodded once. "The pleasure is all mine, Yukie-sama. I look forward to that as well." He swallowed quietly, not liking the way Yukie was eyeing him, or the anticipation in the princess' voice.

Naruto's heart burst with jealousy, angrily listening to the exchange that was meant for her. She released Ino's hand and lifted it for Yukie to take. When the princess did, her smile was strained.

"And I don't believe we've had the enjoyment of meeting yet, Haruko-san," Yukie said, shaking Naruto's hand firmly.

Trying to hide her frustration, Naruto grinned as best she could. It came out awkwardly, a half pleased, half annoyed expression. "I look forward to getting to know you better, Yukie-sama," she said.

"Yes, I look forward to finding out more about you a well," Yukie replied and to Naruto it sounded more like a challenge than an offer of friendship.

Together, Naruto and Ino moved aside and walked to the other nobles. The braided noble, Takehiko was eyeing Naruto again, and she didn't like it.

"That went well," Ino whispered. He wouldn't admit that Yukie's forward demeanor had made him nervous.

Naruto turned her attention away from Takehiko and glared into the distance. "Yeah . . . the kinda well a little kid falls down . . ."

For the rest of the ceremony the stood and clapped for the other nobles, but they exchanged no words. It was an uncomfortable silence lost among blaring music and welcoming applause.

* * *

Next Time: Chapter 6 – Dance, Dance Revolting

The day's festivities continue, leading to a dinner party Naruto and Ino would sooner throw up at than enjoy.

A/N: So, after churning out that One-shot, I got writing on this and just . . . beat the living words out of it. Finished in a day, pretty much, outside of going over it for grammar mistakes. I've changed a few things about Snow Country, clearly, such as the castle and its placement. Hell, I don't even remember if there was a castle in the movie, let alone where it was, but you know what, I don't care. I know there were mountains and such. That island was all kinds of weird. Someone posted a review saying that this was a Naruto trapped as female permanently, which isn't the case . . . otherwise Naruto and Ino wouldn't be training so hard to switch back to their bodies. Naruto is not going to be falling for any guys in this story, just as Ino isn't going to be going after any girls.

Hope you're enjoying it; this one wasn't really that comedic, I think, as I'm getting more into the story and the shit hitting fan stuff.

(1) Haruko means 'Sun, or Sunlight'. Felt it was fitting for Naruto to pick a name involving sun since he melted the snow before. And is sounds like Naruto . . .

(2) Satoshi means 'Clear-thinking, Quick-witted, Wise'. I like to think Ino chose the name as a joke, as she believes Naruto to be the complete opposite.

(3) Motou means 'Base, Origin, Source'. No real reason for this other than needing a damn last name.

(4) Mamoru means 'Protector' and yes, it was making fun of Sailor Moon.

(5) Kansou means 'Dry'. Thought that'd make sense for a village from the Land Of Wind.

(6) Otouto means 'Younger Brother', Ane means 'Older Sister'. Ino is older than Naruto in the manga, but since they've switched bodies, Naruto is the 'ane' and Ino is the 'otouto'.

Lastly, Naruto is laughing at 'Ta' in all the names, which means 'Thick, Big'.

Oh, and 10 points if you caught both of the Titanic references . . . don't know why I put them in there . . . trying to be clever, I guess.


	7. Chapter 6: Dance, Dance Revolting

"Why is this castle so big?" Naruto grumbled.

Beside her, Ino shook his head. "I'm sure we're almost there," he said.

Leading them down a never-ending corridor were Ryouta and Ryou. After standing outside while Princess Yukie finished greeting the rest of the arriving nobles, the two guards had immediately taken Naruto and Ino aside to escort them to their rooms. They had been given rooms at the far end of the castle beside each other so they could stick together easier, as well as help collaborate their fake identities as brother and sister.

"Only a little further," Ryouta said, his younger brother remaining sullen and quiet. "When you get there, get situated and then prepare for dinner. Ryou will return to pick you up at 5:40 sharp."

Naruto scratched her cheek in thought as they passed a number of other rooms. "When will we get to talk to Yukie-sama?" she asked.

"Don't know, most likely at dinner," Ryouta replied simply. "She's very busy after all."

When they reached the end of the hallway, meeting another hallway going perpendicular to it, they arrived at their doors. As told, their rooms were beside one another, though the wide space between them gave a good example of how big the rooms were.

Before leaving, Ryouta and Ryou bowed to each of them, as though they really were nobles.

"Remember, 5:40. I don't want to have to wait," Ryou griped before the brothers backtracked down the hallway.

Naruto and Ino shared a glance, Naruto doing her best Ryou impression. Her face sagged and she pouted. "'I don't want to have to wait'," she groused moodily and Ino stifled a chuckle.

"Seriously, what's up his butt?" Ino added, rolling his eyes. He turned the doorknob to his room, opening the door a crack. "I'll come over when I'm finished getting dressed."

"Eh, why?" Naruto said blankly, the door to her room already open. She ignored it at the moment, more curious about Ino's reasoning than her quarter's interior.

"To help you with your makeup, there's no way in hell I'm letting you do that yourself," Ino replied, raising an eyebrow as though this fact was obvious.

"Makeup. . ." Naruto moaned.

"Now you really sound like Ryou."

Naruto crossed her arms over her chest, glaring slightly. "I bet you just want to come over so you can see yourself naked!" she countered haughtily.

"Why would I want to see my own body naked?" Ino snapped in frustration, his face turning red. Sure he missed his body, but not like that. He wasn't some narcissistic pervert that got by checking out his figure.

Cupping her breasts, Naruto gave Ino a sultry wink. "You miss them, don't you?"

Ino's eye twitched and his fists clenched at his hips. "As much as I've gotten used to you IN and SEEING my body, Naruto, touching it like that is still not allowed," he growled through gnashed teeth. "When we're back in our normal bodies, you'll never touch mine again, I guarantee that!"

"Then I better get as much out of it while I can!" Naruto exclaimed grinning wide, and disappeared into her room.

Ino was about to follow when someone turned the corner. He wore an attendant's uniform with long, stringy black hair. His clear blue eyes blinked at Ino, having discovered the source of the yelling. Slowly, he raised a single finger to his lips, signaling that he wanted Ino to quiet herself.

Ino's stomach insides turned annoyance as the attendant walked back around the corner.

With an exasperated snort, Ino entered his room, slamming the door. As he had though, the interior was expansive, richly decorated, smartly organized, and immaculately clean. The bed was enormous, with fine silk and satin sheets, and dozens of comfortable pillows. The floor was finely carpeted, and Ino considered the possibility that it might be as comfy as the bed.

Carefully crafted desks and cupboards rested against the walls, already filled with his clothes. A couch as relaxing as the bed, and almost as large, was on the far side of the room, facing a television so big, it encompassed most of the wall.

An entryway to a large, beautifully tiled bathroom was on the opposite side of the room from the bed. The shower was big enough for two people, as well as the marble spa. Two sinks in front of a long mirror and not a spot of dust anywhere. This was luxury.

Crossing the room to the far side, where long purple drapes shielded two massive windows, Ino tried hard to collect his awe. He had quickly realized that the room went to great efforts to make the occupant feel insignificant. Pulling the heavy drape aside wasn't easy, but when he had and he could look outside, Ino stared in wonder at the view.

"That's quite a drop . . ." he muttered to himself, involuntarily licking his lips.

The room truly was at the back of the castle. There was nothing behind her room but a giant drop into an iceberg covered, freezing ocean. He debated briefly whether he could survive the plunge, and decided that he probably could, but actually falling from there wasn't in his plans.

The room and the view made Ino feel like an insect.

* * *

Stepping away, Ino let himself fall into his bed, sinking into the covers and pillows. At least he had his own bed.

Naruto was equally impressed by her room's décor, a mirror image of Ino's. As Ryouta had stated, her belongings were already in the room and she hurried to unpack them. Unlike Ino, Naruto wasn't going to let herself be distracted by the room's grand stature. When her clothes and gear had been safely put away or prepared for later use, Naruto took the time to sit down on a cushioned ottoman.

With a frown, she pulled on her pinky, hoping it would curl like she wanted, but was only able to bend it by using her other hand. She wondered how Ino made it curl, how Ino could perform the Jutsu with such a bum finger, but Ino had been completely useless in providing any information.

"I just do it!" Ino had always replied.

"The uncurlable finger," Naruto muttered in disgust. The longer that finger refused to work, the longer she would be stuck in Ino's body. Making it curl was priority number one; it shouldn't have taken this long to learn the Jutsu. At least, Naruto wasn't used to it taking this long. She had mastered every Jutsu taught to her within hours, if not days. It had already been four days since the switch and it had felt like a lifetime.

Adapting to her body was still an issue. She hadn't training in anything except for the Jutsu, so punching, jumping, or throwing anything would be a little awkward if she had to fight.

"Bend you stupid, piece of crap!" she exclaimed, as if insulting her pinky would pressure it to curl.

There was a light knock at the door, and Naruto grunted in annoyance, wondering why Ino was already done changing. Ino just couldn't give her a minute alone, could he? Sighing, Naruto rose to her feet and crossed the room, opening the door angrily.

"It's not a race – Erk!" Naruto flinched and covered her mouth, eyes gone wide. Princess Yukie stood, in full royal garb, outside her room. "Ah, Yukie-sama, what . . . what are you doing here?" she stuttered nervously.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I  
owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"Dance is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire."  
- George Bernard Shaw

A Mind Bending Inconvenience  
A Naruto Story  
By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place AFTER the Naruto series, AFTER  
Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha.  
Characters that aren't dead in the Manga at CHAPTER 356  
(when I started this) may or may not appear in this fic, even if  
they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic.

Chapter 6 – Dance, Dance Revolting

* * *

Yukie smiled, and while normally Naruto would have found it a beautiful thing to behold, this smile was not kind; it was serious, intimidating, sardonic. Naruto felt her pulse quicken and suddenly wanted to escape. This visit was definitely unexpected and, at the current time, unwanted.

"Hello again, Haruko-san, was it?" Yukie said with false pleasantry. "May I enter?"

"Ah . . ." Naruto looked from side to side, hoping someone else would abruptly show and drag her away, but no one came. "Um, of-of course, Yukie-sama," she said finally, and stepped back so the princess could come inside.

Yukie did so, softly closing the door behind her and Naruto swallowed at the sudden tension filling the air. Once they were alone, Yukie strode regally to middle of the room and sighed almost mournfully. "Haruko-san," she said then stopped, lifting a slim finger to her lips, trying to find the right words.

Naruto waited, patient and quiet, though her nervous were rattling.

Nodding to herself, Yukie started again, "Haruko-san, you're here with Uzumaki-san, correct?"

"Yes?" Naruto replied inelegantly.

"Then you know that I requested specifically for Uzumaki-san come. I didn't request anyone else, so I'm left wondering who you are and why you're here," Yukie said calmly, eyes narrowing slightly.

Naruto blinked at the intensity in Yukie's voice. The princess meant business. "Ah . . . I'm N –" and she stopped herself from continuing.

Who was she? She had almost told Yukie she was Naruto, which would have been a bad idea. No one could know the truth of the situation, not even the person they had to protect. If anyone caught wind of what had happened, protecting Yukie would become impossible, their mission likely forfeit in the process.

Internally, though, Naruto wanted to tell Yukie the truth. She wanted to let the princess know that she was Naruto, that Yukie should've been happy to see her, not Ino. It was so hard not to blurt it out, to claim the prize which was rightfully hers.

Instead, she bit her lip, holding back her frustration. Yukie couldn't know; it would complicate things and endanger her life even more.

"My name is Ino Yamanaka, Yukie-sama," Naruto said softly, though there was an undertone of bitter in her voice.

"Why are you here, Yamanaka-san?"

Naruto sighed noisily, dropping to the ottoman she'd recently vacated. "I was sent here to help Naruto and for added protection," she lied. "It made more sense to have two nobles rather than just one, so . . ."

Yukie ran her fingernails over one of the finely crafted desks. "I see. So you're only here to help and provide extra cover for Naruto-kun's back story. Is that all you're here for?"

"Well . . . I can read minds," Naruto added uneasily, scratching the base of her ponytail. It was a lie and yet at the same time it wasn't. Ino, when in her own body, could read minds. At the moment, that wasn't the case, so it was a lie, of sorts.

This perked Yukie's interest and her eyes widened in curiosity. "Oh, now that's . . . something worth having."

"Yeah, so I can look into people's minds and discover the conspirators by reading their thoughts," Naruto said with more confidence. She felt as though she had made her presence important for the mission.

"I see . . . that would come in handy," Yukie agreed, though she was clearly unhappy to admit it. She carefully lifted a small decorative vase, turning it over in her soft hands. Without looking at Naruto, she continued, "Tell me, what is your relationship with Naruto-kun?"

Confused, Naruto realized Yukie wasn't talking about her, but Ino in her body. And then that confused her further, and she lost her train of thought on the entire matter. She didn't understand what Yukie's question was about. Did Yukie want to know what her relationship was with Ino, or vice versa? She felt a headache coming.

"Uh . . . what do you mean?" Naruto asked, nervously fiddling with the end of her ponytail.

"Just that, Ino-chan. What is your relationship with the man in the next room?"

Naruto scratched her head, still not fully comprehending. How could she adequately describe her relationship with herself? With a sheepish grin, Naruto shrugged. "I dunno, I'd say we're pretty close," she said and chuckled knowingly; close was an understatement for two people sharing each other's bodies.

"Actually, I'd say I know him pretty well actually," she declared with a wry smile.

Yukie calmly put the vase back into place and lightly dragged her nails over the wooden top. The sound scratched at Naruto's eardrums, and she shuddered both from the noise and her own growing anxiety.

"Well then, perhaps you should read my mind and see what it is that I want," said Yukie with all the grace of a soon-to-be Queen. Her chin was slightly lifted and she proudly exuded a pompous manner.

"Uh . . . Okay . . ." Naruto replied, glancing off to the side in confusion. Shrugging to herself, she looked deep into Yukie's eyes, fighting the urge to blush, and made an awkward face of concentration. It was how she imagined her expression should look while reading another person's mind. In the end she thought she probably looked like she was taking a dump.

"So, do you see now?" Yukie asked frankly, a single eyebrow rising.

Naruto wanted to shake her head a negative, but nodded, as if she had actually read the Princess' mind. "Yup, read your mind. I understand completely," she lied blandly. She had no clue what was going on and hoped the conversation didn't go any further.

Yukie walked to the door. "Good. I'll see you on the dance floor."

And with that she was gone, door softly closed behind her.

* * *

"What . . . just happened?" Naruto mumbled then sat up straight. "Dance floor?"

Ino laid out his suit jacket on his bed, having pulled it from his pack. Inspecting the hidden pockets on the inside, he double checked them for weapons, making sure each was full. He was in the middle of changing, wearing only a nice button up shirt, a black vest and boxers with kunai designs.

Ino shook his head thinking about it and wondered how many other ninja owned such underwear. He fingered the pockets on his vest, testing their opening speed. Like a snake, he whipped a flap open and then a blade was whizzing across the room, embedding itself in the wall.

Nodding to himself, he walked over to the kunai and yanked it free, sliding it back into its hiding place. There was a knock at the door and Ino shook his head. Naruto couldn't do anything by herself.

Marching to the door, Ino yanked it open. "Can't you do anything, Naruto?" he snapped.

Yukie smiled at Ino, looking him up and down, taking in his state of attire. An eyebrow lifted when she took in his boxers. "Talking to yourself, Naruto-kun?"

"Ah, Yukie-sama! Wh-what . . . to ah . . . what do I um . . . owe the pleasure?" he asked nervously, tugging at the collar of his shirt. When she stepped into the room uninvited, he stepped back, trying to stay out of her way. He really didn't like the look in her eyes.

"What do you mean by that, Naruto-kun?" she replied after shutting the door behind her. The two were alone and suddenly the expansive room felt incredibly cramped. "You know why I'm here!"

"I do?" Ino muttered, raising an eyebrow in bewilderment. He flinched when Yukie wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Standing stock still, Ino made no move to return the display of affection. "Ah . . . Yukie-sama, are you alright?"

"You dolt!" she exclaimed excitedly, leaning back and holding Ino at arm's length. "We haven't seen each other in so long and this is how you react?"

"Yeah – well, uh . . . I really – what should I be saying?" Ino said vacantly. His senses and defenses were completely out of whack, completely unsure of how he should act. The future Queen of the country had embraced him so tightly and abruptly that his mind had been temporarily blown. He really hoped he didn't get randomly aroused.

"Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Ah . . . yeah, of course! I just . . . wasn't expecting you . . . and I'm in my underwear," Ino finally managed, coherent thoughts returning. He blushed beet red when Yukie looked pointedly at his state of undress. He definitely didn't want to become aroused now.

Yukie stepped further into the room, until she was standing beside Ino's bed. The tips of her fingers trailed over the heavy comforter before she took a seat on it and smiled. "That's alright, Naruto-kun, I don't mind."

Ino struggled to think, normally one of his strong points. 'This must be how Naruto feels all the time,' he mused. Truly, Ino had no idea what to do with Yukie there, sitting on his bed, obviously trying to come onto him in some way. His mouth hung open at the realization. The future Queen of this country was subtly hinting that she wanted to have sex with him, or Naruto rather.

Ino swallowed heavily. "Ah . . . Yukie-sama, I'm sorry, but – "

Yukie raised a hand, silencing Ino. "If this is about your 'close' friend next door, I've already spoken with her."

"You've . . . what? Why did you talk to her?"

Her hand was still running over the bed's comforter. "I wanted to know her intent."

"Her intent to what?"

"Her intent with you."

Ino barked out a laugh. "There's nothing between us, Yukie-sama, don't worry," he stated, shaking his head.

"Really, because she said that you two were 'pretty close' and that she knows you 'pretty well'," Yukie replied, rising to her feet. She seemed resigned to the fact that Ino wasn't going to join her on the bed. Any other man would have; that's what made Naruto special, she thought.

"She said that?" Ino asked weakly, and to Yukie it appeared as though Naruto was stunned by the revelation.

"Ino-chan also stated that she could read minds, so I let her read mine," Yukie continued.

"She did?" Ino muttered, shoulders slumping. "And?"

Yukie opened the door to the room, preparing to exit. "She knows how I feel. I apologize for having eyes for you, Naruto-kun, but I will be pursuing you while you're in Ino-chan's company. I look forward to dancing with you at dinner tonight," she said before stepping out.

"Pur . . . suing . . .?"

* * *

Naruto had just pulled on her panties when the door burst open. She squealed in surprise and instinctively flung the closest object at the intruder.

Ino ducked the chair and it slammed into the open doorway. With a deft back kick, he launched it through the door frame and out of the room.

"What the hell! Can't you knock?" Naruto snapped, hands on her hips. She was completely naked but for the underwear she had just slipped on. Her mouth dropped when she say Ino's state of undress. "Why aren't you wearing any pants? You walked through the castle pant less!"

Brushing off Naruto's complaints and ignoring the sight of his body barely clothed, Ino marched right up to Naruto, towering over her. "I was just visited by Yukie," he growled.

Naruto stepped back, but Ino followed the move. "So was I!" Naruto shot back. Her butt bumped into her bed and she fell back on it into a sitting position. She crossed her arms over her chest.

Ino continued to lean over her. "I know, and because of YOU she thinks we're in some kind of relationship!"

"What? Why?"

Ino ignored Naruto's questions, blazing on in his anger. "Not only that, but she declared that she was interested in me and would be stealing me away from you."

Naruto blinked, brow furrowing in confusion. "Yukie's a lesbian?" Her mouth dropped open as dozens of perverted images began filtering through her mind.

"No! Not you, me! She wants me, in your body! She wants Naruto!" Ino raged, throwing his hands up. He fell forward forcing Naruto on her back and slammed both his hands down around her shoulders, trapping her in place. "She wants you, but I'm in your body, so she wants me!"

There was a long moment of silence as Naruto processed everything Ino had said. She winced as Ino's chest heaved from all the yelling, each deep breath it pressed heavily against her bare breasts. Something sharp in the pockets poked her soft skin each time.

"I have no clue what you just said," Naruto said finally, completely lost and slightly overwhelmed. She wasn't accustomed to being pinned to a bed by another man, let alone herself. Considering how messed up the entire situation was, Naruto had little idea how to deal with the close proximity of Ino.

"Because of you, Yukie thinks WE'RE together and she's not happy about it! Do you know how awkward that is?"

"Well . . ." Naruto started, "what we're doing right now probably isn't helping. I'm really not that type of girl, Ino. Sure I'm already in my panties, but you have to feed me if you want to get past those."

Ino grunted in disgust, pushing away from the bed and Naruto's nude body. "Put something on, would you," he grumbled in disgusted and turned away. Crossing the room, he slammed the door shut.

Sitting up, Naruto stretched her neck and back. "I was putting something on before you rushed in here like a wild boar," she retorted irritably. Her nipples were hard and sensitive from Ino's chest rubbing against them, and she grimaced as she pulled on her bra. "Whatever's in your vest was poking me."

"Sorry, I'm just prepared for if something happens tonight," Ino muttered and plopped down on the chair that hadn't been thrown out the door.

"Those are some sharp condoms."

"Ha, ha, very funny, pervert."

"At least what was poking me was in your vest and not in your boxers."

Ino sighed heavily, burying his head in his hands.

"Explain again what the hell happened, 'cause Yukie came over here too and was asking me questions about you and me and then told me to read her mind," Naruto said and sat back down on the bed.

"She pretty much just declared her intention to win me from you. She thinks that you and I are . . . together, and intends on stealing me away," Ino explained, frustrated by the complicated discussion and equally complicated situation.

"I'm still not following. Who does she want?" Naruto asked, scratching the side of her temple.

Ino inhaled deeply. "She wants 'Naruto', and since she thinks that you and I are a couple, thanks to you, she intends to steal 'Naruto', in other words, ME, away from YOU."

"She wants me?" Naruto exclaimed, jumping to her feet, eyes wide with excitement.

"She wants male you," Ino corrected, "which would be me right now. She was trying to sleep with me in my room."

"And you didn't do it!" Naruto bemoaned, dropping to her knees in horror. "What have you done? Now my manhood is in question! Yukie thinks I don't want her."

"I don't want her!"

"You may not, but I do! Now go find her and do her!" Naruto yelled, pointing to the door.

Shaking his head, Ino started to stand, planning on leaving if only to get away from Naruto.

"Wait!" Naruto cut him off, pointing at Ino fiercely. "You can't do her. Only I get to do her. I forbid you from doing Yukie."

Clenching his fists, Ino tilted his head to the side, a strained sneer on his lips. "I'm not doing anyone, Naruto."

"Good, good." Naruto was wringing her hands together, plotting. She looked devious and it scared Ino to see such a sinister and perverted look on her face.

"You're . . . sick, Naruto."

Naruto scoffed in annoyance. "Well, you're the one getting all the attention that I should be getting. If it weren't for you, I'd be with Yukie right now making sweet, sweet –"

Ino's hand clamped over Naruto's mouth. "Stop, no more. I don't want to listen to myself talk about having sex with another woman. Let's just get you ready and then I'll finish getting dressed."

Pulling Ino's hand from her mouth, Naruto pouted. "Fine, but you had better not screw things up with Yukie. When I get back into my body, I want her to still want me."

"I'm not going to hit on her for you," Ino said and walked into the bathroom.

"I'm not asking you to hit on her for me, just let her know that I'm available," Naruto called after him. She watched as Ino walked out of the bathroom, makeup case in his hands. The sight of it made Naruto grimace.

Ino pulled his chair over to where Naruto sat and plopped down into it, popping open the case. "Well, you just remember that we're here to protect her, not 'bone' her. You wouldn't want to sleep with her if she was dead."

"Yeah, I suppose so," Naruto agreed, frowning. "I don't see why I need makeup."

"It won't be a lot and it'll make you look good."

"I already look good without makeup," Naruto grumbled and pouted.

Ino turned away, a blush creeping into his face. Naruto had inadvertently given him a compliment, and probably hadn't even realized it. When he regained his composure, Ino reached into the case and withdrew a stick of mascara.

Naruto tried not to blink as Ino applied a light amount of mascara to her eyelashes. A dash of blush and swipe of lipstick and she was gorgeous. When Naruto looked at herself in the mirror, wearing nothing but bra and panties, her face enhanced, she blushed heavily. If she were a man again, she would've found it hard not to jump Ino.

"What're you smiling about?" Ino asked.

"I just look good."

Ino crossed his arms, smiling cockily. "I think you mean, 'I' look good," he corrected.

"Alright, that's good enough. You can go finish while I put on my dress," Naruto said bluntly, scratching the back of her neck. It was bad enough to have Ino help put on her makeup; Naruto didn't want him around when she put on her dress.

"You can do the earrings?" Ino asked as he stood.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem. I have experience sticking sharp metal things through flesh."

Ino left, shaking his head, and hurried to his room before anyone saw him wandering around in his kunai boxers. Upon entering his room, he hurriedly slipped on his dress pants, tucking in his button up and undershirt. He stole a glance at himself in the mirror, admiring how good he looked in his tuxedo. He still had to put on his tie and jacket, but thus far, Ino appreciated what he saw.

As it turned out, he found it incredibly hard to put on his tie. He tried five times but it never seemed to wrap and knot correctly. After the sixth attempt, he threw it down in frustration. "Orange monstrosity," he grumbled. Why Naruto had packed an orange tie with his tuxedo was beyond him.

A light knock at the door drew Ino's attention and he narrowed his eyes at it. The only person he was expecting was Naruto, but the knock was so soft and un-Naruto like that Ino was afraid Yukie might have returned. There was another knock, this one a little more urgent, and Ino strode to the door quickly, annoyed with his tie and this interruption. His frustration was getting worse and the night had barely begun.

Yanking it open, he started to glare, but it faltered immediately. His mouth dropped. "W – wow . . . I look good," he muttered, looking Naruto up and down. The dress was a calm sunset orange and it hugged Naruto's curves smoothly. It ran down to Naruto's feet and a long slit in the dress ran up her left leg to her thigh. It was both sleeveless and backless, showing off a generous amount of skin and cleavage.

Naruto was blushing in embarrassment. "Thanks, will you let me in already?" she mumbled and stepped inside when Ino finally made room. "It's hard to move."

"That dress is a little much, don't you think?" Ino asked as his mouth fell agape. "There's a reason why I've never worn it."

"Well, considering I bought it for Sakura-chan as a present and found it in your closet, I figured it was only right that I wear it," Naruto explained. She stumbled into the room, adjusting to her heels. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you have this dress? I gave it to Sakura-chan as a present."

"Well, she – " A knock on the door cut off Ino's response and he couldn't help the involuntary eye twitch. "I'm about ready to kick that door out."

"Satoshi Motou," Ryou said from the other side, using Ino's fake name. "I'm here to escort you and your sister to the party." He sounded bored.

"One minute," Ino called back then turned to Naruto. "Help me with my tie, would you? I can't get the damn thing to work."

When Naruto finished tying Ino's tie, and Ino slid on his jacket, the two admired themselves in the mirror. "I do look damn handsome," Naruto said of Ino, then reached over and adjusted Ino's tie, straightening it. The orange matched perfectly with Naruto's dress.

"Alright, let's go protect a horny princess," Ino said clapping his hands together.

Ryou looked none too pleased, waiting for them with arms crossed and a sour expression. He gave Ino and Naruto a passing glance, not even lingering on Naruto's stunning figure.

The fact that Ryou didn't ogle her wasn't overlooked by Naruto, who narrowed her eyes at the guard in annoyance. Here she was dressed to kill, showing off ample amounts of flesh, and the man didn't even give her a second glance. With that in mind, she pressed her breasts together, doubling her cleavage, and leaned toward Ryou.

"Thanks for the pick up," she said sweetly and gave him a seductive smile.

"Whatever, come on." Ryou walked down the hallway, leaving Ino and Naruto in front of the door.

Naruto leaned over to Ino. "I think he's gay," she whispered. "You try hitting on him."

"I'm not going to hit on him." Ino replied shaking his head and started after Ryou.

"Yeah, good idea. Don't want Ryou telling the princess I'm gay." She rushed to catch up to the guard.

Ino's eye twitched and he grit his teeth. "I know, Haruko-ane," he bit out.

Scurrying to Ryou's side (as running in her dress was quite hard) Naruto stepped in front of the young man, halting his advance. "Don't I look good, Ryou-san?" she asked demurely.

Ryou's eyes went up and down Naruto's body once. "You look trashy," he said simply and stepped around her.

With a shake of her head and shrug, Naruto turned to Ino. "I'm telling you, he's gay. Why're both your eyes twitching?"

"What does he mean you look trashy? That's my body he's talking about," Ino growled. He cracked his knuckles violently. "I'll show him what's trashy when I stuff his head into a garbage can."

Naruto grabbed Ino's fists, pushing them down. "We can't kill him!" she ordered firmly. "We'd get lost in this castle without him. After he leads us to the party we can kill him."

* * *

"When you enter, you'll be announced again. Do not forget who you are," Ryou said plainly as they stood outside a pair of gigantic doors. Ornate trees and plants were carved into the wood, evidence of the Spring Country now gone.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm Satoshi, she's Haruko. We know who we are. We're professionals," Ino replied grumpily. He wasn't too fond of Ryou anymore, insulted by his lack of interest in Naruto. Ryou had done nothing but beat down Ino's ego. Every insult directed at Naruto was one that hit Ino too.

"I have yet to see proof of that," Ryou retorted coldly. "You're already ten minutes late."

Naruto brushed off Ryou's cold response, rubbing her hands together excitedly. "I can't wait for this dinner party, combines two of my favorite things: Dinner and party."

"And dance, which you both will be expected to partake in."

"Ugh, how do I keep forgetting about the dancing?" Naruto grimaced, not looking forward to other men grabbing her and leading her around the dance floor.

"I'm not bad, but . . . I don't know how to lead." Ino added.

As they turned a corner and drew closer to the castle's Great Hall, a servant walked past. His attention snapped to them, his sharp blue eyes studying Naruto and Ino as they passed. His gaze lingered on Ino a moment longer than normal, which didn't go unnoticed.

Naruto nudged Ino, leaning to whisper in his ear. "Ryou may not be into your body, but that servant seems to like mine."

Ino cracked his knuckles. "That's ten when we change back," he muttered.

Like earlier in the day, they were introduced as the Motou siblings to the assembled mass inside the Great Hall. There was a short applause, mostly from the working servants, before Ryou showed them to their table. Soft music was already playing and a few couples were dancing on the open floor. Food covered every bit of their plates, waiting to be feasted on. Naruto licked her lips at the sight.

Across from them sat an elderly couple. They wore fine clothes and jewelry, but nothing that put them over the top. They smiled as Naruto and Ino took their seats.

"You two make such a cute couple," the older woman said kindly.

Ino gave her an incredulous look. They had only a moment before been introduced as brother and sister. He turned to Naruto, but she was fully distracted by the food, shoveling it in her mouth as fast as she could.

"It's so good!" Naruto crowed, pleasure washed across her face, chopsticks clutched in her fist.

"Calm down, would you," Ino hissed.

"Now, now," the old woman cut in, "it's normal for a young woman to be so hungry."

Her husband snorted, ignoring his wife to focus on his dinner.

"See?" Naruto smiled and stuck out her tongue.

"It's shows signs of being ready to bear a child," the old woman finished with a happy smile.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Ino moaned and covered his face with his hands.

Naruto put down her chopsticks. "Suddenly, I'm not so hungry."

A new song started, and the old woman slowly pushed herself to her feet. Her husband looked up at her from his food, a sudden grin appearing on his wrinkled face. He rose and took her hand, leading her to the dance floor, leaving the embarrassed ninjas alone.

"Crazy old people," Naruto muttered as she and Ino watched the elderly couple start a slow dance.

Ino sighed. "Yeah . . ." he mumbled as he gazed at the two. "But look at them, how happy they are."

Naruto looked at Ino instead, surprised by the tone of his voice. It was soft, wistful almost, a longing happiness that Ino rarely displayed. Smiling, Naruto was about to agree when another man took a seat at their table. He was older than them, but smaller in height, his body thick with muscle. Grey flecks sprinkle a neatly trimmed black beard. Scars covered his face, along with his arms, which were abnormally long for his short stature.

"Hello," he grunted, a gruff, sticky sound. "I am Hayato Hiyashin, head of Yukie-sama's security."

Naruto glanced around for Yukie, finding her dancing with another noble. She was smiling warmly as the noble spoke.

"Pleasure to meet you, Hiyashin-san, I am Satoshi Motou, and this is my sister Haruko. How may we help you?" Ino replied pleasantly.

"You can shove the act, I know who you are," Hayato grumbled. "In the coming days, we'll be keeping in close contact. Yukie-sama is . . . very precious to the people of Spring Country. If anything were to befall her, I wouldn't be able to live with myself." He looked at Ino directly. "It's thanks to you, Uzumaki-san, that this is all possible."

Naruto's eyes narrowed in annoyance, jealous of Ino receiving the praise meant for her.

"Ah, it's really a team effort," Ino said, attempt to redirect the compliment.

"Our intelligence believes the attack will most likely occur during Yukie-sama's coronation."

"Do you have any idea who's behind it?" Naruto asked.

"We believe it's a rebel group of Cloud ninja and Lightening soldiers. We think their leader is Sakuma Shikiima, a former Cloud ninja, now S-Rank criminal," Hayato said.

Ino shook his head. "I don't get what they want. What does a bunch of rebels gain from killing Yukie-sama?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out."

A young noble woman appeared by the table, head held high. She stared hungrily at Ino. "Excuse me, Motou-san, but would you care to dance?"

Ino and Naruto blinked, surprised by the young woman's bold approach. "Ah, no, thank you, I'm slightly busy at the moment," Ino said with a wave of his hand.

The noble woman reached out, latched onto Ino's wrist, and pulled him from his seat. "I don't take no for an answer." She began dragging Ino to the dance floor, who sputtered in confusion.

Naruto and Hayato shared a glance, both shaking their heads in amusement. Hayato smiled at Naruto, extending a hand. "Would you care to dance, Yamanaka-san?"

Naruto eyed the man's hand and leaned back in her seat. "You look like you've been in a lot of battles, Hiyashin-san."

"I have."

"You ever have your nuts cut off in any of them?"

"N-No, of-of course not!" Hayato stuttered indignantly, pulling back his offered hand.

"You want them to be? Because that's what you're asking me right now," Naruto threatened, a flash of warning in her eyes.

"You are . . . quite the lady, Yamanaka-san." Hiyashi stood and left, leaving Naruto sitting alone. From her table she watched Yukie and Ino dancing with new partners, noticing that Ino was having problems leading, but was adapting well. Yukie broke away from her partner and crossed the dance floor, finding Ino. There was a short conversation before Ino took Yukie's hand, unable to refuse the future Queen's request.

Naruto crossed her arms over her chest, leaned back in her seat, and glared at the two. She watched as Yukie gripped Ino tightly, smiling and laughing. Without noticing, Takehiko Mino, one of the nobles from the Land of Lightening, had moved to Naruto's side.

"You're sitting all alone, Motou-san," he said, full of self-confidence. A smug smile graced his lips as he looked down on Naruto. "Perhaps you should be on the dance floor."

Naruto inhaled through her nose, frustration showing. "Fine," she grumbled, rising to her feet. Takehiko took her hand without waiting, eagerly dragging Naruto to the dance floor. Naruto shuffled uncomfortably in her tight dress, glaring at Ino and Yukie the entire time. She ignored Takehiko as he took her hand and drew her close, placing his other hand on the small of her back.

It wasn't until Naruto felt Takehiko's breath on her face that she started paying attention to the man.

Ino glanced at Naruto from the corner of his eyes, sweating profusely. Yukie had been gushing over him since the moment they started dancing. Wide smiles and suggestive touches had shaken Ino's nerves. The Princess' hands had slid from Ino's shoulders to around his back, clinging tight, purposefully pushing her breasts against Ino's chest.

"You're so quiet, 'Motou-san'," Yukie teased. "I expected you to be happier."

Ino laughed nervously. "I'm just on guard is all. People want to kill you, remember?"

"I'm not worried. You'll protect me." Yukie pulled Ino closer, if that were at all possible, breathing hotly on Ino's neck.

"Sorry," Naruto muttered unapologetically. She scanned the crowd of dancers, mostly focusing on Ino and Yukie.

Takehiko grimaced, his toes aching from abuse. "It's quite alright, Motou-san. I'm not doing the best job leading. Your beauty distracts me from the pain."

"Uh, thanks."

"So, do tell me all about your village," Takehiko said. He winced as Naruto stepped on his foot again.

"It's . . . hot," Naruto lied. "And rocky and dusty."

"Sounds rugged and tough. Like your personality. I like it."

"You like what? My village or my personality?"

"Both. Tell me, what do what you like?"

". . . Cake."

"You're making it hard for me to do my job, Yukie-sama," Ino said.

"Am I? Good, I want to make it hard for you, Naruto-kun" Yukie whispered, lips brushing Ino's ear.

"That's uh . . . not what I meant."

Yukie giggled, placing a hand on Ino's cheek. "Still so naïve. Besides, where can I be any safer than in my protection's arms?"

Ino hated to admit that Yukie had a point. The Princess was completely safe there, dancing in his arms. The thought made Ino nervous. What if Yukie decided she needed to spend the night for further protection? He glanced around the room until he found Naruto in the arms of another noble and he narrowed his eyes in confused disgust.

Ino's attention snapped back to his dance partner. "Ah, Y-Yukie-sama, that's my b-butt you're grab-grabbing."

"I know."

"Please stop squeezing it."

Takehiko laughed boisterously. "You're hilarious, Motou-san!"

Naruto gave a nervous chuckle in return. "Yeah, thanks."

"What else do you like? Please, tell me," Takehiko asked warmly.

"Um . . ." Naruto looked across the room, spying Ino and meeting his eyes. She ignored Ino's confused expression and thought for a moment about the Yamanaka ninja. "I like . . . flowers," she said and turned her attention back to Takehiko.

"Lovely," Takehiko said. "Flowers truly are nature's most beautiful feature. I am an avid collector and have a great garden in my estate."

"Oh, well that's nice," Naruto muttered and looked away from Takehiko in disgust.

"Why do you like flowers, Motou-san? Is it because their beauty reminds you of yourself? Or perhaps of men like me?"

As much as the question made Naruto want to throw up on Takehiko's shoes, it did make her wonder. Why did Ino like flowers so much? Was it because of her family business? Her parents had probably raised her to appreciate them, of course, but there had to be more to it than that. Obviously Ino was a girl, though not at the moment, and girls seemed to love flowers. To Naruto, that's what flowers were used for: to give to girls to make them happy. She supposed they also helped make houses pleasant.

It wasn't like ramen. Naruto understood why she loved ramen. The taste, the texture, the hundreds of different recipes. The feeling of satisfaction and warmth in her belly after finishing a bowl. Eating a flower was pointless; it wouldn't fill a stomach or warm a body on a cold night. She couldn't use a flower as a weapon, at least, not that she knew of. Naruto understood very little about them, and thus saw little value in the flowers Ino's family so graciously culled and grew.

"Is something wrong, Motou-san?"

"I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

Naruto shook her head. "Why I like flowers."

The passing minutes only confirmed Ino's fears. "I think I'd be much safer in your room tonight," Yukie had whispered. "Don't you agree?"

"We-well, Yukie-sama, I just–I don't think–think that's a great idea. People might get the wrong idea," Ino stuttered. "You have to put up a royal appearance."

Yukie halted their dance, stepping back from Ino, appearing none too pleased with the direction the conversation had gone. "Are you that attached to her?"

Ino's face contorted in confusion. "What? Who?"

"Your partner."

"I told you, there's nothing between us."

"That's why you've spent more time looking at her than me," Yukie countered.

"We're communicating, Yukie-sama," Ino lied. "We're doing our job."

This placated the Princess, who lowered her head in embarrassment. "Oh, I just–"

"Your Highness, we're doing everything to protect you, nothing more. As it is, I need to get her away from her current dance partner who is distracting her too much, so if you'll excuse me." Ino bowed low. "There are many more who want to dance with you." He gestured to a number of noble men that stood around the dance floor trying to look inconspicuous.

"I suppose you're right," Yukie muttered.

"Don't worry, Princess, we're keeping an eye on things," Ino stated, nodded his head, and strode across the dance floor.

"How can you not know?" Takehiko said, smiling broadly. His pompous charm was making Naruto sick. She wanted to punch him in his snobby, pampered face.

"Excuse me, Mino-san, was it?"

Naruto and Takehiko turned to Ino surprised. "Ah, Haruko-san's brother!" Takehiko exclaimed.

"Yes, I'm sorry to intrude, but I'd like to dance with my sister for a bit," Ino declared.

Takehiko stepped back, releasing Naruto, and bowed. "Haruko-chan, if I may address you as such, it was a pleasure dancing with you. I look forward to dancing with you another time."

"Uh, thanks," Naruto muttered and gave the noble a strained smile.

Takehiko nodded to Ino and turned away, his long braid swooshing behind him.

"He's cute," Ino said with an appraising glance.

"And you're a man, so . . . stop looking."

Ino shook his head and extended a hand to Naruto. "You looked like you needed a rescue."

Naruto smiled and placed her hand in Ino's, watching as it was gently engulfed by Ino's larger fingers. "Yeah, thanks. He was getting a little too touchy feely for me."

"So how're we going to do this?" Ino asked.

"I'll teach you how to lead, I guess," Naruto replied and placed her free hand on Ino's shoulder. "Put your hand on my back."

Ino did, his large hand covering Naruto's upper back.

"No lower," Naruto said and shuddered when Ino's hand slid down her body to cradle the small of her back. It felt . . . weird. "Yeah there," she mumbled softly. "Now just kind of, pull me along. Not too fast, move with the music."

"I know how to move with the music, idiot."

Naruto collected herself at the insult. "Could've fooled me. You were moving like a spastic gorilla with the Princess."

"Yeah, well I lost count how many times you stepped on Mino-san's feet."

"Those were all planned to make him back off."

"Of course they were."

Without realizing it the two had begun moving together in an easy, fluid dance. It was slow, nothing too impressive, but there was nothing wrong with it either. They looked and felt comfortable with their simple dance. Four steps, slow turns, nothing fancy.

"I have to say: I look amazing in that dress," Ino said, nodding his head. "Lots of cleavage."

Naruto glanced down at her chest. "Yeah, I like the view."

"That should be eleven, but I'll let it slide since it is a nice view."

"Look at us, agreeing on things," Naruto said with a grin.

"Next thing you know we'll be in our own bodies."

"Yeah . . . and this great view will be gone." Naruto paused then looked up at Ino. "Why do you like flowers? I mean, I know it's your family's business, but I don't really get it."

"That's an odd question coming from you. Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious," Naruto said and shrugged. "I wanna know what it is about them that you like."

Ino's eyebrow rose. "Are you trying to get to know me, Naruto?"

"Never mind, I was just aski–"

"No, no, I'll tell you why," Ino cut in. "It is partly because of the family business. Growing up my parents taught me all there was to know about them. It made me really appreciate them."

"Okay, so you like them because of your family?" Naruto asked, disappointed by the answer.

"There's more to it than just that."

"Like what?"

"Well, while a flower may not fill your stomach like your ramen, it does have thousands of different species, like ramen has different recipes. Each flower has a different smell, a different purpose in the world. Different animals and bugs use the flowers, spread the pollen which helps other plants grow, in turn feeding us. It's co-evolution. They provide us with medical ingredients as well as herbs for your dinner. Without flowers, we humans would be dead."

"Oh . . ." Naruto mumbled.

"Were you expecting my reason to be something more superficial?"

"Well, yeah. You're a girl. I was thinking more along the lines of, 'I like roses because they remind me of myself as a ninja: Beautiful to look at, but dangerous to try and hold'. Something cheesy like that," Naruto said dismissively. She blew at a strand of hair that fell in her face.

"Be-beautiful? W-what?" Ino stuttered, a heavy blush flushing his cheeks. Had Naruto compared his female body to a rose and unintentionally called him beautiful? Or had she knowingly done that?

As she danced with another noble, a plump, older man, Princess Yukie couldn't help but stare at Naruto and Ino. There was nothing special about the way they were dancing. They weren't holding each other close, they weren't spinning or dipping, but they looked content, relaxed. Naruto was even blushing!

Yukie's stare turned into a glare. The Princess wasn't the only one looking at the couple. Many eyes in the room were watching them, each with different reason.

"There's something wrong with those two."

"There is something . . . off . . . about them. They're not what I was expecting. Will their presence be a hindrance to the plan?"

"No. Not in the slightest."

* * *

Tusnade rubbed her temples to ward off the growing headache. She read over the report for a third time, believing her anger might light the papers on fire.

"Jounin Yamanaka Ino has not been seen in village for the past two days. Extensive searches have revealed nothing of her whereabouts. Jounin Yamanaka Ino has not returned to her home, her parents, or any other known locations she is expected. She has not reported for repeated mission briefings and is believed to have left the village without proper notification."

As she started to crumple the report in her hand, a knock came from her door. Her hand loosened on the papers. "Enter."

The doors swung open and four individuals stepped inside.

"You wanted to see us, Tsunada-sama?" Sakura asked.

"There's a problem," Tsunada replied.

"There's always a problem," Shikamaru muttered.

"Let me guess, it involves Naruto?" Kakashi added, a smile visible under his mask.

"Naruto and Ino."

"Ino?" Choji shook his head in surprise, wild mane of hair rustling.

"There was an incident between the two of them a couple of days ago. It's hard to believe, but they . . . switched bodies."

"What?"  
"What?"  
"Huh?"

"That would explain some of their erratic behavior," Shikamaru mumbled, thinking of when Naruto had slapped Ino. But no, if they had switched, then Ino had slapped Naruto. And the two of them spending the night together. He sighed, relieved to have made sense of everything.

"Naruto is IN Ino's body!" Sakura exclaimed, clenching her fists.

"Lucky dog," Kakashi stated, nodding his head, images of his sexy books floating through his thoughts.

"As much as I'm annoyed to admit it, they tricked me. I was too gullible to believe Naruto . . . Ino. Naruto had a mission in Spring Country and if I'm right and they didn't switch back, then I sent Ino there in Naruto's body." She slid the report across the table where Kakashi picked it up. "Meanwhile, 'Ino' has been missing since 'Naruto' left, which leads me to believe that they both went to Spring Country. If they're still in the wrong body, they're going to need help."

"So we're heading to Spring Country?" Shikamaru summarized.

"You are to go and assist the two in their mission then escort them back here for punishment. What you've been told here today is top-secret. No one is to know about what's happened between the two . . . ever. There will be extreme consequences for all of you if word gets out about this. Do I make myself clear?"

The four ninja nodded.

"Then go. And hurry, before those two get into more trouble than they can handle."

In a flash the four were gone, sprinting from the room.

Tsunade fell back into her chair, shoulders slumping with a sigh. "Idiot . . ." she muttered to herself.

* * *

Next Time: Chapter 7 – Party Crashers

Another night, another dinner party, but this one goes differently from the first. Unexpected guests are never welcome and even the best and worst kept secrets can come to light.

A/N: Sorry for the delay. Had wicked writer's block which seems to have gone for the time being. This chapter is longer than the previous one, so yay for that, right? Next chapter is probably going to be very short, so hopefully that means I'll get it out faster. Not much to say here, other than thanks for reading and waiting patiently.


	8. Chapter 7: Party Crashers

"I think you had too much," Ino said, shaking his head. "You are drunk."

"You are drunk. I . . . I know . . . I know my limit, blob," Naruto mumbled, face flushed red, eyes drooping. She started to fall, but Ino was quick to hold her up. "I can-can drink three barrels."

Ino nodded his head in mock agreement.

Naruto pointed forcefully at her chest, poking her breast. "The guy in-inside . . . he vapo . . . he vapoli . . . he voporiles . . ."

"Vaporizes?" Ino suggested helpfully.

"No!" Naruto said indignantly and tried to push Ino away. Ino's stronger and sober body easily kept Naruto in place at his side. "I was thinking of vaporizes! Or-or . . . dishin . . . dishintuh . . ." Naruto shut her left eye, trying to focus her thoughts.

"Disintegrates?" Ino supplied.

"Evaporates!" Naruto retorted.

"You can't drink as much as you did, idiot. We're on a mission here. You getting plastered isn't a part of it and puts the entire thing at risk. Also, you're in my body, remember?"

Naruto poked Ino's nose playfully. "Pssh . . . you talk too much, SA – TO – SHI!"

Ino swatted Naruto's dainty hand away from his nose. "You're getting too loud."

"I think . . . I think I shhhhhhhhooooooooould . . . spend the night in Yukie-sama's room," Naruto stated with a drunk leer and tried pushing Ino away again.

"I don't think she'd like that," Ino replied calmly, keeping a tight hold on Naruto's smaller frame. He was glad he was in Naruto's body. Were they in their normal bodies, Ino doubted he could restrain a male drunken Naruto.

"She would if I were in your body," Naruto said and looked Ino up and down. "Daaaaaaaaamn . . . I am amazingly good lookin'." She ran a finger over Ino's chest invitingly. "Where're you sleepin' tonight?"

This time Ino grabbed Naruto's hand, removing it from his chest. "That's gross, Naruto, this is your body."

"So I'm a little . . . nar . . . narci . . . marcississ . . . nar . . ."

"Narcissistic," Ino finished tiredly.

"Naruto," she corrected matter-of-factly before giggling cutely. "It feels . . . goooooood in my pants. If you . . . know what I mean."

Ino looked down at Naruto, noticing the girl rubbing her legs together subconsciously. He blushed furiously and ground his teeth in frustration.

Naruto was blushing as well, a combination of alcohol and burning arousal. "I think we're finding out that . . . uh . . . um . . . what's my name?"

"Haruko Motou." Ino's patience was fading. The length of the castle's hallways was driving him crazy. He wasn't even sure if they'd gone the right direction. Their escorts, Ryouta and Ryou, had stayed behind to watch over the Princess, leaving Ino to deal with returning a very drunk Naruto to her room.

"That's right . . . Well, I think that-that when Haruko-chan drinks . . ." Naruto rested her head on Ino's shoulder, her hot breath tickling his ears as she whispered softly, "Ino-chan is a horny drunk."

"Pervert!" Ino snapped and let go of Naruto.

Naruto collapsed to the floor in a heap, giggling furiously. She curled into a ball, legs pressed together, face burning. She watched, stomach fluttering, as Ino marched down the hallway. Naruto counted how long it took Ino to walk down it, somehow finishing at 10 minutes. Her eyes narrowed as she realized that it was, in fact, a very long hallway. Though it had been a fast 10 minutes. Had time sped up? With the grace of a snail, Naruto pushed herself to her knees. The hallway began to spin and she placed a hand on the wall for balance. Was Ino still walking?

"Holy crap, I am drunk," Naruto stated bluntly and burped loudly, before tipping over and falling on her face.

Standing over Naruto, Ino frowned and sighed, crossing his arms. He had only walked a couple feet away before turning back.

"This carpet . . . is my new best friend," Naruto muttered into the floor.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"Right actions in the future are the best apologizes for bad actions in the past."  
- Tryon Edwards

A Mind Bending Inconvenience  
A Naruto Story  
By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place AFTER the Naruto series, AFTER Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren't dead in the Manga at CHAPTER 356 (when I started this) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic.

Chapter 7 – Party Crashers

* * *

Naruto woke in such agony she thought her insides had spilled out and on her bed.

'Wait, bed?' She rolled over, relishing in the cloud like comfort, despite the rest of her body aching and brain screaming bloody murder. Her stomach churned and she covered her mouth, feeling last night's dinner rising. Without thought, she flung herself from the bed, trampling everything in her path to the bathroom.

When she exited 10 minutes later, Ino was sitting in one of the large chairs, elbow on armrest, head resting in hand. "Feel better?"

"What happened?" Naruto groaned, falling back on her bed. She let the massive comforter engulf her.

"Well, we ate, we danced, you drank . . . and drank . . . and drank some more," Ino explained.

Naruto covered her eyes. "Why didn't you stop me?"

"I tried, but you kept telling me you could handle it, that it wasn't anything, that you never get drunk."

"The wine was very good," Naruto said simply. "You should've stopped me. I'm no good for the mission if I'm drunk."

"You don't say . . .?" Ino replied. "You put us both at risk. If we'd been attacked-"

"We would've been screwed, I know," Naruto finished. "But I only had three glasses of wine."

"Try six . . ."

"That's not so bad."

"Teen," Ino finished and stood.

"Oh . . . that's bad," Naruto grimaced.

"Of course, then you started hitting on every woman there."

"That's worse."

"I had to drag you from the dance floor and back to your room, which wasn't easy. This of course meant leaving Yukie-sama unguarded except for her personal guard," Ino explained and Naruto could hear the frustration building in his voice.

A ball of shame filled Naruto's gut, and she curled into a ball, holding her head. She'd never been drunk before; Kurama had always dissipated the alcohol in her body before it could take effect. In Ino's body, she had no control over it. The wine had kicked her ass without her even realizing it.

"Do you realize how bad this looks, Naruto? It wasn't easy taking care of you either, idiot," Ino said and looked away, a blush rising in his cheeks.

Naruto buried her face so deep in her comforter that she missed the expression.

The door to the room exploded open and Hayato Hiyashin, Spring Country's head of security, marched in, followed closely by a solemn Ryouta.

"What the fuck were you doing!?" Hayato roared. "Do you know the embarrassment you caused?"

Naruto rolled over and sat up on the bed, legs crossed. "My head's killing me, Hiyashin-san, can you cool it down."

"Your behavior last night was unacceptable as both a noble and a body guard! You put our princess at risk for your own pleasure!" Hayato continued unabashed, ignoring Naruto's request.

"It was an accident, it won't happen again," Ino said, trying to placate the furious guard.

"You're damn right it won't." Hayato pointed a finger at Naruto. "She is not to attend the party this evening."

"What!" Naruto exclaimed and grabbed her head as it struck back.

"Sir, I know what she did was stupid, but it'd be irresponsible to leave her on the outside," Ino said.

"She will not join the party. She will apologize and excuse herself before the princess. She can stand guard outside tonight," Hayato ordered. "Is that understood, Yamanaka-san?"

Ino turned and glared at Naruto, the fault having fallen on his name, not Naruto's.

"Is this understood?" Hayato repeated gruffly.

"It's understood, Hiyashin-san," Ino said, realizing Naruto wasn't going to speak. 'Since when were you a coward to authority,' he thought, still staring at Naruto.

"Then I expect tonight to go better than last," Hayato growled and left.

Ryouta remained behind, a frown on his face. He shook his head. "I expected better of you, Yamanaka-san."

That hurt Naruto more than all Hayato's yelling, but still she said nothing.

"Uzumaki-san, we'll be relying on you greatly tonight," Ryouta said and gave Ino a small nod of farewell and Ino returned the gesture. The large guard turned and silently exited, closing the door behind him.

Ino sighed, turning back to Naruto, his annoyance falling to confusion. Fists clenched so tight they'd turned white, Naruto's bowed her head, face shrouded by her falling, disheveled hair.

"Naruto? You alright?" Ino asked, stepping closer.

"Ino . . . I'm sorry," Naruto mumbled. "I screwed up. It won't happen again. I swear, I'll fix this."

"It's alright, Naruto," Ino started.

"It's not alright! Everyone's blaming you when it's my fault! It's not fair to you!" Naruto snapped and looked up at Ino through narrowed eyes. She ignored the throbbing of her head, focusing more on the burning in her eyes.

At first Ino thought Naruto's eyes were full of anger, but at second look, he saw the truth. Naruto was doing her best to hold back tears. Awkwardly, Ino reached out and put his hand on Naruto's head.

Naruto reacted quickly, swatting the hand away with a frustrated yell. She rubbed at her eyes, trying to banish the onslaught of tears. "I don't know why, but I can't help it. Why am I getting all emotional over this? Do you cry over this stuff too? Or am I just pathetic as a woman?"

"I don't know," Ino said shaking his head. "I haven't felt any different being a man, but . . . how would I know? I haven't been thinking about it. It's been five days. The switch might be starting to have an effect on our minds."

Naruto sniffled cutely and frowned. Again, she wiped the tears away and stood on the bed, pointing a determined finger at Ino. "I swear, I'm going to fix your reputation, we're going to switch back to our normal bodies, and I'm never going to cry in front of you again, believe it!"

"You promise?"

"Promise!" Naruto declared, smiling brightly, the last of her tears drying on her cheeks.

Ino crossed his arms, smiling smugly. "What if you break that promise? You owe me a lot after last night."

Naruto continued to smile too. "If I fail either of those three, I'll let you decide what my punishment is, but I'll tell you this now; Naruto Uzumaki doesn't fail."

"Except when he is me and gets drunk. Then you fail brilliantly."

"Yeah, but I learned something very important last night," Naruto said with a sagely nod.

"And what's that?" Ino asked, suddenly interested. Had she, in her drunken stupor, found a clue about Yukie-sama's assassins?

"You get really horny when you're drunk," Naruto stated before taking a large cushion to the head, knocking her uncharacteristically from the bed and to the floor in a messy pile of blankets and sheets.

* * *

"So you really don't remember anything from last night?" Ino asked suddenly. It was later in the day, the afternoon sun hanging high overhead. Despite that, there was a noticeable chill in the air, their breath visible to the eye. The two walked through the castle's massive courtyard, occasionally mingling with other nobles that had decided to do the same.

Naruto had apologized to many nobles already, a constant bow and honest embarrassment. Most had accepted her apology, while others ignored her completely. She really didn't care about them. It was Princess Yukie's forgiveness she sought most, but the almost Queen was nowhere in sight.

"Other than being really turned on . . ." Naruto tugged anxiously on her ear. "I remember nothing. Except . . ."

"Except . . .?" Ino followed, cheeks turning red. Things had happened that he really hoped Naruto would never remember. He didn't want to remember them.

"Something about blobs and the carpet in the hallway," Naruto finished with a shrug. "Did I throw up on it?"

"Something like that," Ino replied with a soft, relieved sigh.

Naruto looked around the yard. It sprawled over a hundred yards, the fresh greenery of Spring Country everywhere, but slowly dying from the growing cold. The vines covering the walls were almost bare, the potted plants were drooping, and the grass had turned a darker green. Small piles of snow dotted the walkways and servants worked to clear them away.

"The party's out here tonight?" Naruto asked and rubbed her arms. The chakra in her hands instantly warmed her. A useful, simple trick to help deal with cold missions.

"Yeah, seems like Spring Country wants to celebrate outside before this winter weather gets any worse," Ino said. Though both he and Naruto wore heavy, finely made, cloaks, the biting cold still prevailed.

Naruto looked around the wide court yard with reflective eyes. "I don't like it. Too much open space. Too many places for an attack to come from. The guards are just asking for an attack tonight."

They stopped beside one of the potted plants. "We'll be ready for them."

Naruto's hand disappeared inside her cloak. "You need to be ready for them. I won't be here if something goes wrong."

"You won't be far," Ino said, looking into Naruto's eyes.

Naruto nodded and the two started walking again. "I'll be far enough. At least four seconds away and that's more than enough time for an S-rank to hit their target. If you're not on your game, we're screwed."

"Just make sure you don't get distracted, or worse, drunk," Ino replied and winced.

Naruto winced as well, a twinge in her stomach. "I won't," she growled and they stopped next to another potted plant.

Ino reached out a hand, cupping the beautiful tulip that had bloomed. "Orange Emperor."

Naruto watched Ino as he admired the orange flower, always surprised when Ino showed her gentler side. The color of the tulip caught Naruto's eye as well. A soft yellow base, the top of the bulb was a warm orange. She couldn't help but smile as the cup shaped flower almost reminded her of herself. Well, of her male self.

"It's beautiful," Ino said softly and Naruto's eyes widened. "It's a very rare flower."

"What do they mean?" Naruto asked curiously then shook her head. "I mean, what do they stand for?"

"Well, tulips universally stand for 'perfect love'. You'd give to someone you consider your perfect love, but orange emperor tulips in particular stand for energy, enthusiasm, desire, and . . . passion," Ino explained, letting the tulip slip from his fingers. "Sound like anyone we know?"

Naruto stared blankly at the flower, lost in her thoughts. Ino had compared her to the flower, the very thing Naruto had thought a moment before. Slowly, she reached out and touched the tulip. Her eyes closed and she shook her head. This was no time to play with flowers. She moved on from the flower.

"It's pretty," she commented blandly.

Ino grinned at Naruto's back before stealing another glance at the orange emperor. It looked a little livelier than a second ago. It really was a beautiful flower, one of Ino's non-purple favorites. Looking at it really calmed his nerves.

"Come on, Satoshi-otouto!" Naruto called, snapping Ino out of his thoughts. She was already standing next to another potted plant. "Tell me about this one!"

Naruto's smile vanished as another noble stepped in front of her, bending to smell the flowers. They were small, white, and numerous, which Naruto didn't find nearly as nice as the orange emperors had been. When the noble stood, Naruto's good mood disappeared completely.

"The mock-orange," Takehiko Mino said, grinning handsomely at Naruto. "A tricky flower, really, but the sweet smell of oranges makes up for it, in my opinion."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"Despite its pleasant scent, the flower matches those of the common orange and lemon trees, but provides none. Therefore it is a liar," Takehiko explained coolly.

'Does he know what I am?' Naruto wondered, her heart suddenly fluttering as she studied the noble's face for any sign. For the first time she truly looked into Takehiko's eyes. They were simple and black, nothing overly special about them, but they felt almost familiar.

"I . . . am sad that you will not be at tonight's party, Haruko-chan," Takehiko continued, having not noticed Naruto's piercing gaze. "You're behavior last night was . . . refreshing. Quite humorous and wild."

Naruto closed her eyes, hoping to remember something. She covered her face with her hand, hiding her embarrassment. 'What the hell did I do?'

"I . . . ah, apologize for my behavior last night, Mino-san. It was . . . unbecoming of a lady of my house," she said, keeping her face hidden. 'Where the hell is Ino?'

"It's quite alright, Haruko-chan. My only regret is that I can't dance with you again tonight." Takehiko took Naruto's hand from her face and kissed it gently. "And please, call me Takehiko."

Naruto gaped in horror and disgust.

"Mino-san, I hope my sister has apologized for last night," Ino said as he approached the two. His eyes spied the hand being kissed.

"She did, and of course I accepted," Takehiko replied warmly. "I was just telling your sister about the mock-orange here, since last night she told me she enjoyed flowers."

"Are you interested in them as well, Mino-san?" Ino asked in pleasant surprise.

"I have a very large garden at my estate, so you might say I'm very interested."

Naruto looked up at Ino, frowning when she saw him smile excitedly.

"That's wonderful. I'm sure my sister would be delighted to see it one day," Ino said happily.

Naruto shoved her elbow into Ino's side. "I'm sure I wouldn't," she retorted, giving Takehiko a strained smile.

"Don't be shy, Haruko-ane."

Takehiko kept his eyes on Naruto. "She's just playing hard to get."

"More like 'never get', because it's never gonna happen, Mino-san," Naruto said with all the sweetness of a sour apple.

"Please excuse my sister and I, Mino-san. Her manners are always lacking," Ino said kindly and took Naruto's hand, dragging the small girl away.

"Took you long enough to get there. I was getting close to stabbing either him or myself with a kunai," Naruto grumbled.

"Did you have to act like such a brat?" Ino replied. "You're making me look bad."

"First of all, I'm not 'you', I'm Haruko Motou and once we're done with this mission, Haruko will cease to exist. Second, who cares? That guy is horrible. I don't like him."

"Well I think he's interesting."

Naruto threw her hands up in disgust. "What about that guy is 'interesting'!"

"He likes and seems to know a lot about flowers. And he's handsome and rich, what's not to like about that?" Ino said, crossing his arms.

"Is that all you care about? I didn't know you were so shallow," Naruto retorted and frowned, staring off to the side. "Besides, I know stuff about flowers."

Ino gave the back of Naruto's head an incredulous look. "What do you know about flowers?"

Naruto turned on Ino, chin held high. "The orange emperor stands for energy, enthusiasm, desire, and passion," she replied proudly.

"I just told you that a couple minutes ago," Ino deadpanned.

"Yeah, and I remembered it, so, Mino isn't the only one that knows something about flowers. Plus, I know that 'each flower has a different smell, a different purpose in the world. Different animals and bugs use the flowers, spread the pollen which helps other plants grow, in turn feeding us. It's co-evolution. Without flowers, we humans would be dead,'" Naruto said and turned away.

Ino blinked. Naruto had repeated, verbatim, everything he had said the night before. He had never known Naruto as a great listener, yet the chaotic ninja inside his body had just proven him wrong. Something about that threw Ino off. Naruto, despite being a hero, would always be known around Konoha as a prankster, someone who didn't take life outside of being a ninja seriously. When he wasn't saving the day, Naruto was living free, running around the city without a care, hitting on, and subsequently being beaten or made love to by a copious amount of women.

That's right, Ino had forgotten Naruto's player status among the Konoha women. Being a hero of the ninja world had its benefits, namely easy women who threw themselves at Naruto with abandon. And Naruto was always happy to comply, at least, so the rumors went.

And yet, here was a side Ino hadn't known existed. Naruto, the great listener? Was Naruto like this with all the women that came or was this something new?

"Why'd you remember all that?" Ino finally asked.

"Because you told me it," Naruto answered simply, as if there was no other reason.

Ino blinked, even more confused than before. He lowered his head and glanced to the side. "You almost sound jealous, spouting all this."

"I'm not jealous," Naruto muttered, crossing her arms. "I just hate that guy. You deserve a better guy than him."

"Just because he's handsome and rich and you're the opposite doesn't mean you have to hate him for it," Ino said reaching into his cloak.

Naruto snorted, a very unladylike moment. "You're just blind to it, stupid."

* * *

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask," Naruto started after the two had returned to Ino's room. Naruto's hands were moving in a blur, going through the motions: Boar, Bird, Boar, Dragon, Rat, Horse, Ram, Hare, Ox, Boar. "What happened to my dress last night? When I woke up this morning, I was in a nightgown, right?"

"Please don't ask about last night," Ino muttered from where he was doing shirtless sit-ups. Sheen of sweat coated his chest and face. He had lost count around 300.

Boar, Bird, Boar, Dragon, Rat. "Last thing I remember was you and I dancing and then . . ." Naruto stopped and pressed her pointer and middle finger to her forehead. "The floor and the bedroom, I think."

Ino stopped his exercise, lying flat on the floor so Naruto wouldn't see his blush. "You did something at the party . . ."

"What? Tell me!" Naruto complained.

Ino sighed. "You're not going to like this."

* * *

"Thank you, kind sir," Naruto said and gave the waiter a grand bow, spilling a little wine as she did. "Whoops. That should've gone in my mouth."

She leaned over to the nearest noble, an older man with a sharp pointed beard. "I like putting things in my mouth," she whispered and giggled. "Especially tasty things."

The nobleman turned away from her, shocked by the frivolous behavior. He hurried away, a blush rising in his pale cheeks.

"I wasn't talkin' 'bout that, perv!" Naruto called after him. She looked around the dance floor for Ino, but everyone had started blurring together. Instead of two people dancing, intermingled, colorful blobs floated across the floor.

Reaching over, she grabbed the nearest blob, pulling it close. "Hey, where's-where's my brother." She frowned with the blob didn't reply. "He's the tall, handsome, blonde? You seen 'im?"

Again, the blob didn't reply, so she gave it a little shake. "Hellooooo? You alive?" she asked and downed her glass of wine in one gulp. Her head swam, like a title wave had crashed into it and she tilted backwards.

"Ma'am, please leave the coat rack alone."

"Whoa, whoa, I'm-I'm sorry, rack-san. Though I must say, you have a . . . very nice rack . . . for a rack. Not as nice as mine though," Naruto said, letting go of the coat rack. She grabbed her breasts, while puffing out her chest as if to prove her point. Giggling again, she turned to the speaker. "I'm sorry, good sir, but might you point me in the direction of my devilishly handsome brother?"

"First of all, Motou-san, I'm a lady," the female servant replied. "And secondly, I think you should sit down."

"I will only sit down . . . if that person sits on my lap," Naruto said and pointed into the mass of fuzzy blobs.

The servant sighed loudly. "You're pointing at Lord Hatomi. One of the riches nobles here tonight and a happily married man."

"Oh, gross, no, no, no, I don't want that blob," Naruto said and moved her hand to point at another blob. "Then that one. Fetch me . . . that blob, fellow blob. Haruko Blob-san commands it!"

"How about I fetch your brother instead," the servant suggest patiently.

"Blobberful idea, blob. Go blob that," Naruto said. "And also . . . blob."

Naruto smiled blissfully, and tried crossing her arms over her chest. She failed and tried again, her arms failing to move the way she wanted. Finally, she put one on the back of her head and the other on her hip, hoping to strike a sexy pose.

"Oh yeah, I'm hot," she slurred, smiling widely at everything.

"Haruko-ane."

Naruto's smile grew even wider, teeth flashing. She looked like a hungry predator. "Satoshi-otouto," she purred and tried running a finger down Ino's chest. Her finger missed and she poked Ino in the cheek. Naruto's giggling grew louder.

"You didn't shave today, did you, Naruto-kun?" she whispered teasingly and giggled again. She ran her finger over Ino's cheek, feeling the stubble. "But then, I never showed you how to shave . . . not that you don't know how to . . . do it." She winked, or tried to and instead blinked both eyes at different times. "I've seen firsthand you know how . . . to shave. If you get what I'm sayin'."

Ino grabbed Naruto's wrist, forcefully pulling her hand away. "Alright, I think it's time we left. And that's eleven."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait a second . . . hey, hey, hey," Naruto blubbered, tearing her hand from Ino's grasp. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your . . . extremely sexy friend here?" She turned to the nicely shaped blur standing beside Ino and squint her eyes.

The blur focused and became a very attractive face, one Naruto vaguely recognized. She shrugged and opened her arms wide, embracing the person.

* * *

"And that's when you kissed Yukie-sama," Ino said.

"I . . . what?!" Naruto exclaimed, hands falling to her sides, all thoughts of training forgot. "How . . . how bad?"

"Pretty bad. You got way up in there with your tongue before I pulled you off," Ino explained as he pulled on his shirt. "The only reason you weren't kicked out of the castle is because you're with me."

Naruto stood in silence, staring into space, her mind just as empty. After a minute of silence, she finally asked, "Did Yukie-sama say if she liked it?"

Ino buried his face in his hands. "Could you not think with your non-existent penis for a minute?"

Naruto chuckled nervously. "Sorry, can't help it, even if I'm in your body. I mean, hell, I think my nipples just got hard from the thought."

"Why would you tell me that?"

"Well, because technically they're your nipples. I thought you'd like to know what your nipples are up to."

"So should I tell you every time I get a boner? Because it's happened quite a bit."

"Don't you dare," Naruto threatened.

Ino winked. "From looking at guys."

Naruto covered her ears, horror flooding her mind. "Oh, God! You've forever tainted my body! My eyes are ruined with lust for other men!"

"You're the one that kissed another woman in front of a hundred very important people! Do you know how weird it is to see yourself kiss another person? Let alone a woman?! Imagine me kissing some guy in your body!"

Naruto fell to her knees. "Stop! No one wants to imagine that, no matter how good looking I am!"

"Are you done?" Ino growled.

"Who will marry me now!" she lamented, shouting at the ceiling. Exhaling, Naruto cracked her neck as if to reset herself. "Still doesn't answer my question: What happened to the dress?"

"When I was dragging you from the hall, you . . . started to take it off. When I stopped you, you started to tear it off."

"Tear?"

"Yeah, it's ruined."

Naruto rubbed the back of her head, ashamed. She grinned weakly. "Well, no big deal, right? It wasn't really yours in the first place since I got it for Sakura-chan, right?"

"You're right." Naruto could tell Ino's smile was forced. "I'm going to take a shower. You keep practicing," he said briskly.

Naruto stood after Ino left the room. She listened to the sound of the shower starting, not even caring that Ino was naked with her body. With little thought, her hands started moving again; Boar, Bird, Boar, Dragon, Rat, Horse, Ram, Hare, Ox, Boar.

Again; Boar, Bird, Boar, Dragon, Rat, Horse, Ram, Hare, Ox, Boar.

Again; Boar, Bird, Boar, Dragon, Rat, Horse, Ram, Hare, Ox, Boar.

Again; Boar, Bird, Boar, Dragon, Rat, Horse . . . "Damnit."

* * *

"I am, from the deepest part of my heart, terribly sorry, Yukie-sama," Naruto said, bowing her head. "Last night was . . . completely unacceptable. I have never done something like that before and will never in the future. Please believe me when I say that your safety is the most important thing in the world to me right now."

Yukie shook her head. "What you did . . . were you not here as my protection and Naruto-kun's partner, I would have shipped you right out of my country. But Naruto-kun pleaded with me to keep you here."

Naruto stole a quick peek at Ino, who was trying hard not to look at her, lips pressed tight together. She was grateful Ino had fought on her behalf, but it probably had more to do with preserving Ino's own reputation, not keeping Naruto from reprimand. Had they been in their normal bodies, Naruto had little doubt Ino would have let Yukie carry out a punishment.

"You are aware of tonight's circumstances?" Yukie asked calmly and Naruto was reminded of when Tsunade-obaa-chan got serious.

"Yes, Yukie-sama, I've been informed."

"Understand this, Yamanaka-san," Yukie begin coldly. "If you do anything to disrupt this party, even think of crashing it, nothing Naruto-kun or your Hokage says will prevent severe punishment."

"You're not talking about a spanking, are you?"

"OUT!" Yukie roared and Naruto flinched, rushing from the room. The princess' attention moved to Ino, breath ragged, and Ino swallowed nervously. "Despite our history, Naruto-kun, that goes for you as well. My coronation is in two days, and if . . . something like that happens again, how can I expect you to protect me when you're busy taking care of that girl?"

"Please, Yukie-sama, it's just as Yamanaka-san said. Your safety is our top priority. Nothing will stop us from keeping you safe," Ino replied smoothly, hands nervously clenched at his sides. "Our mission won't be complete until we've found whoever's threatening you and put a stop to them."

Yukie moved into Ino's personal space, taking his hand. "When this is over, I may request you remain her for a couple more days."

"Y-you'd have to take that up with Tsunade-sama," Ino mumbled, staring pointedly at Yukie's hands that held his. "I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome."

"Your stay is always welcome," Yukie whispered.

It was happening again. The princess shut her eyes, lips slightly pursed. She emitted a soft purr as she pressed up against Ino's chest and he cast a furtive glance around the room for help. Sadly, the guards had vacated the room before Naruto's apology, and with Naruto's hurried exit, only he and Yukie remained. Ino really hoped her didn't become aroused, but he honestly had little control over the lower half of his body. He wondered how Naruto managed it on a day to day basis. Years of experience and practice, clearly something Ino didn't have.

Five days wouldn't cut it. Compared to Naruto, Ino felt like a teenage boy starting puberty, or at least what she thought a teenage boy would feel like. He took a step back from Yukie, focusing all of his concentration on other things. "Yukie-sama, this isn't the time or place."

Yukie placed a hand on Ino's cheek, gently brushing it. "You've become so serious, Naruto-kun. Has all the fighting . . . all the killing changed you this much?"

Ino closed his eyes, seeing Naruto, in his real body, smiling brightly. The cheerful ninja waved enthusiastically before sticking out his tongue and flipping the bird. Ino shook his head, grinning wryly. "No, Yukie-sama, it hasn't changed me one bit."

He nodded once, in farewell, and quickly departed. Once outside the room, he covered his fluttering heart. Whose fault was this, he wondered. He looked down and his groin twitched, followed by his eye. He knew whose fault that was.

'I hate that thing,' Ino thought, walking away with a slight hunch, hands stuffed in his pockets.

* * *

"If the economy in Wave Country continues its rise, well, I might have to buy twenty more ships for my company!"

Ino smiled kindly as the older nobleman continued talked. He owned a very lucrative shipping business; perhaps the richest in Wave Country, Ino hadn't really paid much attention to the conversation. The chilly air had numbed his hands, despite keeping them inside his cloak all night. Groups of nobles huddled around numerous fire pits for warmth.

This party was a less livelier affair than the previous nights.

"That's wonderful for you, Jokou-san," Ino said, taking a small sip of his drink. Haruto Jokou was a very slim and tall man, taller than Naruto's body. His smile was kind and the glasses he wore made his eyes appear three times bigger.

"Quite wonderful, quite wonderful! But of course, with more ships comes more pirates."

"Then it's a good thing Water Country has stabilized. They're protection of the Wave Country must be greatly appreciated." Ino scanned the courtyard as he spoke. Princess Yukie had been within ten feet the entire night. His eyes moved to the great balcony overlooking the party and spotted a shadowed figure.

Naruto. They had stationed her on the balcony, permitted no closer to the party. Ino tried not to frown, feeling sorry for the other ninja. It was short lived, Ino remembering the things Naruto had done the night before. He grated his teeth to fight off the rising blush. 'That idiot,' he thought.

"Very!" Lord Jokou blasted enthusiastically. "Without them, I honestly don't think my business would be so large." Jokou downed his entire glass of wine. "I've got the fastest ships in the sea, I do!"

"I would be interested in seeing that for myself one day, Jokou-san," Ino replied.

"I would be delighted! Not all of them are for business, after all!" Jokou crowed and adjusted his glasses.

* * *

Naruto sighed, wisps of her breath escaping into the night air. She was bundled under a heavy cloak, layers of clothing underneath. Unlike those gathered below, she hadn't dressed for the party. There was no need and she was honestly fine with that. With a casual move, she dragging her ponytail over her shoulder, letting it fall down her front. Her hands went to the hood of her cloak, pulling it over her head.

The cold started stinging her cheeks, but she ignored it. It had gotten even worse in only a matter of house. Naruto could only imagine how cold it was in the courtyard. Multiple fire pits had been lit to keep the area warm, but even still, the cold wind prevailed.

She exhaled again, a long stream of misty breath pouring from her lips and folded them back for warmth.

"Ah, Motou-san?" a soft voice asked and Naruto turned to look at the speaker.

A male servant, a little taller than her, stood at the entrance to the balcony. He had short blonde hair and a nervous smile.

"Yeah? What is it?" Naruto asked simply. No need formalities.

"Hayato-san has requested your presence," the servant said, bowing his head.

"What? Why?" Naruto's forehead creased, eyes narrowing. To pull her away from her post was suspect. From her current vantage point, Naruto could observe the entire courtyard. Leaving it now would be stupid.

The servant simply shook his head and shrugged. "He said it was an emergency and you were needed immediately."

'Emergency?' Naruto thought. 'Now something's definitely wrong.'

* * *

"How are you finding things tonight, Motou-san?"

Ino turned to Yukie, a calm expression on his face. Inside, his nerves were rattling. The cold air and quite atmosphere made everything feel wrong. "It's much calmer than last night," he said and glanced around the courtyard. "No one dancing, very little interaction between guests."

"This weather is unfortunate," Yukie agreed. "Really puts a damper on the mood."

"It really does, though I'm okay with not having to dance." Glancing to the balcony, Ino's eyes narrowed. 'Where the hell is Naruto?'

"But it was so much fun," Yukie pouted cutely. "Instead, I've had Hayato-san pestering me all night."

"Huh?" Ino turned back to Yukie. "What about Hayato-san?"

"He's barely left my side all night, it's gotten very frustrating," Yukie explained and pointed to where Hayato was standing, not ten yards away.

Ino put a hand over his chest. Something felt wrong.

* * *

Naruto, hood pulled off, walked down one of the castle's long hallways, the servant trailing close behind. Something had happened, or was going to happen, but what it was, Naruto had no clue. She wanted to hurry there, but knew she'd get lost inside the castle without the servant. In her distraction, Naruto bumped into a beautiful side table, rocking the vase. The servant quickly held it, placing it back in its spot.

"Please be careful, Motou-san," the servant said gently.

"Sorry, sorry, you said Hayato-san is up ahead, right?" Naruto asked.

"In the room around the corner," the servant replied.

"Thanks," Naruto turned and grunted. She looked down, finding a blade of ice jutting out from her chest. A line of blood oozed from the side of her lips. "Oh, so that's what that was."

Before the servant could pull the blade out, Naruto's body exploded in a cloud of smoke.

"Who are you?"

The servant spun around, beautiful side table impaled on his arm, which had been covered by a sharp and wide blade of ice. His eyes narrowed, the once gentle face turning dark. "Would've liked this to be over with, but I guess that's too much to ask."

Naruto removed her cloak, revealing full ninja garb. "Who are you?" she repeated. "Are you the only assassin?"

The servant smashed the table against the wall, shattering it and freeing his frozen arm. "My name is Kori," he said and his left arm quickly covered with ice, smoothing into another blade. "Who might you be, Motou-san?"

Naruto's fingers curled around the weapons at her waist. "Are you the one making Spring Country cold?"

"You didn't answer my question," Kori replied, his grin turning into a sneer. He leapt at her, arms swinging and tearing open the walls.

Naruto threw her kunai, and they stuck in the ice. She flipped away as Kori drew closer, arms still slashing. As she was upside down, she flung a couple more kunai, but they were swatted away. She ducked under a stab and spun to the side. The hallway was too narrow to easily pass Kori, whose arms continued to swipe and strike the area around him. With a simple hop, Naruto planted her feet on the wall and ran up it jumping through Kori's swinging arms, and flipped back to the floor.

Kori spun around, ice blades cutting the walls to shreds and gave chase. He swung his arms as Naruto jumped and twisted in the air, bouncing off the opposite wall before running along the ceiling and over his head. His blades swiped above his head slicing through the ceiling and missing the nimble ninja.

Naruto cartwheeled backwards, narrowly dodging Kori's strikes. She planted her hands and spun on the floor, kicking at Kori. Her foot connected with his frozen arms and there was an audible crack as the ice splintered. She pushed up, throwing herself at the ceiling, landing in an upside down crouch, Kori's undamaged arm struck below her head. Dropping down, she kicked at his head, landing a blow on his temple.

The ice user stumbled, shielding his bleeding head. He yelled in frustration, swiping an arm across his face. A mask of ice appeared, stopping the blood, and Kori dove at Naruto again.

* * *

"What's wrong, Naruto-kun," Yukie asked so only Ino could hear.

"Ah . . . Ino hasn't returned to the balcony," Ino said and scratched at his chin in thought. "I'm wondering where she went."

"You don't think she's come down here, do you?" Yukie looked around the crowd, hoping to catch the other ninja party crashing.

"No, she wouldn't do that unless there was an emergency, but she also wouldn't just leave her post," Ino reasoned. "Stay by my side, Yukie-sama. I have a bad feeling."

'Where'd you go, Naruto?' Ino thought anxiously.

* * *

Naruto charged Kori, running along the wall. A dozen kunai flew through the hall, clashing with Kori's ice encased arms. She hopped over the window before stepping to the right and rushing down the ceiling. With the grace of a cat, she launched herself over Kori's head, twisting her body to slide through his wildly swaying arms.

Kori's ice blades again sliced the ceiling, showering bits of fine marble across the hall. "How long are you going to run, coward!" he sneered and as he spun around, his blades shredded everything around him.

Naruto chuckled. "I'm going really easy on you. Trying not to ruin the party for those fine folks down below."

"I could say the same. I'm trying to kill you quietly, after all," Kori retorted. The ice on his arms grew longer, touching the floor by his feet. "That's why I need to cut you to pieces right here."

"And here I was worried it was gonna be a boring night," Naruto said, grinning happily. She pulled out a single kunai.

"Really? More of those? They haven't worked," Kori said. Speaking through the ice mask, his voice sounded deeper.

"I guess you'll be surprised when I kill you with this one then," Naruto replied darkly, eyes narrowing.

* * *

Ino put a hand in the air, the cold air prickling his fingertips. He poured a little chakra into it, warming it quickly. His eyes found Ryouta and waved him over.

Ryouta briskly made his way over to Ino and Yukie. "What's wrong? You calling me over here like this-"

Ino cut him off. "Something's wrong. Ino isn't at her post and hasn't been for over 10 minutes."

Ryouta glanced at the balcony. "Are you asking me to go check on her?"

Ino shook his head. "No, she can take care of herself. If she isn't being attacked, then someone's going to come after Yukie-sama. Tell your guards to be on alert."

"Understood." Ryouta hurried away.

"Naruto-kun?" Yukie said softly, looking at Ino with pleading eyes.

"Whatever happens, I won't let you be hurt," Ino replied as he reached inside his cloak. An attack was coming, but when and from where.

His arms exploded from his cloak, knocking it off his shoulders. His knuckles were full of kunai and shuriken. They flew from his hands and to his sides, colliding with a dozen kunai flying in his direction, knocking them out of the air. His hand came back and grabbed the top of Yukie's head, pushing her down before deflecting three shuriken with a new kunai in his free hand.

From three different directions they came, dressed to kill. The crowd was already in an uproar, screaming and running in all directions. Ino quickly looked at the three party crashers.

The first appeared normal enough, all black ninja garb, face masked. The only thing different about him was the number of armaments he carried. Strapped to his body, from head to toe, were dozens kunai, shuriken, and other sharp weapons. On his back, two scythe shaped blades.

The second stood the same height as Naruto's body, thin as a stick. His arms were particularly long, reaching down to his ankles, but just as skinny as the rest of his body. His form shivered as the nobles around him ran past. He ignored them all, focus on Ino and Yukie.

The last clung to the dead vines on the surrounding wall. Short like a child, his outfit was literally made of explosive tags. Hundreds of explosive balls dangled from his body, and despite the screaming crowd, Ino could very easily hear them clinking together like wine glasses.

His last glance was to the balcony. His expression hardened.

* * *

Naruto's kunai clashed with Kori's left forearm, chipping the ice. She pushed off, avoiding an upward slash from Kori's right arm. Her long ponytail twirled around her like a gymnast's ribbon as she spun through the air. She landed on all fours and pushed off the floor, flipping to attach to the ceiling.

Kori's flinched as two shuriken smacked off his ice mask, not hard enough to do damage, but enough to be an annoyance. He stabbed up at Naruto, but she danced out of the way. His frustration grew as the ninja woman continued run up and down the walls and over the ceiling, hopping around him like a wild animal. He had believed the narrow corridor would work more to his advantage, but it had proven the complete opposite.

Naruto dropped to the floor and winked playfully at Kori. She knew he was frustrated. As sharp as his blades were, they weren't too hard to dodge. They had done more damage to the walls and ceiling than to anything else.

"All you can do is run away. I've done more damage to you than you me, little girl," Kori mocked.

Naruto ran a finger over her cheek. A small cut, nothing major. "Yeesh, she's gonna kill me for that," she mumbled. "Getting her face damaged."

"What're you muttering about, coward!" Kori snapped. He swung his right are to the side, cutting a huge chunk from the wall.

"None of your business, you stupid icepick!" Naruto exclaimed and pointed a finger at Kori dramatically. "Get ready, because now I'm running right at you!"

Kori brought his arms to his sides, grin threatening to cover the lower half of his face. "I'm going to enjoy impaling you again."

Naruto spun the kunai around in her hand and charged, running straight for Kori. Her feet pounded the floor as hard as her heart. She'd have one chance and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to pull it off in the first place. Before she got too close, her head fell back, followed by the rest of her body. She landed on her back and slid forward on the floor. As Kori adjusted his aim, Naruto kicked out her legs to the sides as hard and far as she could. Her feet hit the walls, completely stopping her momentum as she performed a perfect split.

Kori blinked in amazement as his blades pierced the floor inches from Naruto's crotch. He watched as she brought her legs together and rolled onto her shoulders. She pushed off with her hands, feet pressed together.

Naruto put every bit of chakra into her heels as they smashed into Kori's chin, completely shattering his ice mask and throwing him down the hallway. He landed unceremoniously, the ice on his arms melting away and soaking into the floor.

Rising to her feet, Naruto felt between her legs and nodded in approval. "Nice, didn't think Ino was so flexible. I didn't even pull a muscle. Good thing I wasn't in my body, I think I would've ruined myself," she said to herself and walked over to where Kori lay.

* * *

"We need to keep that one away from Yukie!" Ino screamed and pointed at the bomb covered ninja. No doubt about it, that was the most dangerous of the three.

Ryouta and a number of guards had moved to intercept the first ninja, clashing with his armada of weapons. Two guards had already fallen while Ryouta did his best with a single sword.

At the same time, Ryou had run at the paper thin ninja. While full of energy, the younger brother's attacks did nothing, and the paper man barely moved. His body would shimmer and Ryou's sword would miss. Other guards ran to join the fray, yelling wildly.

The courtyard was still in chaos. The nobles didn't seem to know which was to run. The human bomb had sprinted across the wall shedding explosive notes as he did. Two of the main exits had already been destroyed as Hayato did his best to chase him down.

Ino stood at Yukie's side. He'd taken his cloak, laced with protective metal, and draped it over the princess. If any of the three broke free from the guards, Ino had to stop them. While the human bomb ran around the courtyard, and the ninja covered in weapons deftly parried the attacks of the guards, jumping and hopping about, the paper man seemed the least mobile, but the hardest to actually hit.

The paper man shimmered again and Ino swiped a kunai around him. It swept through the paper man's body but didn't cut him. The paper man's long arms reached out and Ino tried again to cut him, but the kunai passed through his wrists.

Ino swept the princess and his cloak into his arms and jumped away, tossing an explosive note at the paper man. It exploded, destroying the fire pit with it, spewing fire around the area. When the smoke cleared the paper man had vanished. He started to put the princess down, but leapt away again as the ninja covered in weapons tossed a dozen shuriken.

The blade ninja landed and pulled one of the scythes from his back, swinging it around at Ino.

Ino deftly hopped over it, throwing a kunai at the ninja's face. The weapon ninja caught it and swiftly placed in one of his many holsters for later use.

"What?" Ino landed and threw three shuriken, all of which were plucked from the air and attached to the weapon ninja's body. "Shit!"

Ino gritted his teeth and vaulted straight back, narrowly avoiding the paper man's arms. He skidded to a stop, bumping into a noble and knocking them over. The human bomb had stopped his running and started tossing explosive pouches at the guards. Ryouta had reengaged the weapon ninja along with his brother.

There was no sign of Hayato. His eyes once again went to the balcony. 'Naruto, where the hell are you?'

* * *

Kori groaned weakly, eyes fluttering. He felt his body being moved and propped against a wall. When his eyes focused, Naruto was kneeling beside him, kunai held to his throat.

"Try anything and you die," Naruto ordered.

Kori swallowed against the kunai. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"So then, you wanna tell me who're you working for? Someone's obviously paying," Naruto said calmly, pushing her kunai against the soft flesh of Kori's neck.

Kori grinned weakly. "Sorry, can't say . . . boss would kill me."

"I'm going to kill you," Naruto stated.

"Then what's the difference."

"I'll do it slowly."

"So would the boss, only ten times worse than you ever could," Kori said and chuckled. He stopped when the kunai pressed into his neck harder. "Just kill me," he gasped.

"Who's your boss?" Naruto growled.

"You'll know him when you see him. I can feel it, my purpose has been served," he breathed and blood poured from his lips.

Naruto backed away and looked down. Kori had reformed an ice blade and impaled himself in his stomach. He coughed and sputtered, spitting blood over his chest.

* * *

Ino rushed across the courtyard, hopping over an explosive tag. It exploded behind his back, throwing him in the air. His clothes burned and his back felt hot, but the damage wasn't bad. It disappeared seconds later. The bundle in his arms had become a burden, but he couldn't let it go, so he kept it cradled in his arm. Yukie's life depended on it. He was glad Naruto's arm could hold it, leaving him with one free. It wasn't much, but it was better than having no arms at all.

He hadn't realized how hard it would be to fight in Naruto's body. They had completely different elemental chakra. While water release suited Ino's body, Naruto's had always been a wind release user. Ino had no idea how to use Naruto's jutsu's.

All Ino could rely on were basic skills and tricks.

He grimaced at the paper man fell from above, shimmering in the night air. Twisting in the air, Ino slipped by the arms but took a kunai to his forearm. Wincing, he clutched the bundled cloak tighter. Most of the guards had fallen. Ryouta and Ryou were still fighting, but their attacks were even more ineffective than Ino's.

A sudden blast of cold air caught Ino's attention. He wasn't the only one that noticed. The three ninja's tensed and landed, ceasing their fighting. Ino touched down and pulled the kunai from his arm. It dripped with blood but his wound started healing immediately.

"The boss is tired of this. Let's finish this," the weapon ninja announced to his comrades. He spread his arms out, and kunai hung from them like bird wings. He flapped his arms and all the kunai shot free, launching at Ino like a wall of steel. The paper man shimmered appearing in the middle of the metal storm, but none of the blades touched him. The human bomb rushed behind it all, hands tearing explosive notes from his body.

"Sorry, Yukie-sama," Ino muttered. He flung the cloak in the path of the approaching kunai, revealing no princess, but sides laced with explosive tags.

"Get back!" the weapon ninja roared.

The paper man shimmered. The human bomb halted his momentum. The cloak hit the kunai and a great explosion rocked the courtyard. It shook the ground, leaving a massive crater in its wake, a giant ball of fire lighting the night sky. The explosion engulfed the wall of kunai, the paper man had vanished, and the human bomb lay unmoving.

Ino groaned and pushed himself up, coughing from the smoke and cloud of dust. Well, their secret was revealed.

"Where is she?!" the weapon ninja roared and rushed at Ino. The nobles still trapped inside the courtyard huddled in fear. With most of the exits destroyed, few dared to cross to the other side. The human bomb was slowly starting to rouse.

The weapon ninja was crossing the crater. "Where'd you hide her?!"

'Naruto, where are you!' Ino thought anxiously.

The window three stories above Ino's head exploded. He looked up, a body flying out, blood pouring from the stomach.

The weapon ninja stopped his run and hopped back.

Naruto appeared in the broken window, smiling brightly. "Sorry!" she cried as she leapt from the frame. "But I'm crashing this party!"

The dead body continued to fall and Naruto pressed her body together, speeding her descent. She flipped in the air, planting her feet on Kori's back and used it as a springboard, launching herself at the weapon ninja. Kori's corpse slammed into the ground from the force and Naruto met with the surprised ninja's face, blowing him off his feet.

The weapon ninja crashed into the vine covered wall, splintering the stone behind his back.

Naruto rolled to her feet and turned on Ino. "Don't just stand there, idiot!" she shouted.

Nodding, Ino leapt forward. The human bomb still lived and he doubted the paper man had died in the explosion either. His suspicion proved true when he noticed the shimmer appear behind Naruto. "Behind you!" he yelled.

Naruto spun around, noticing the paper man for the first time. She leaned back, avoiding his reaching hands. She stabbed at him with her kunai, but again, it passed through his body. With a look of confusion, she flipped away. "What's with this guy?"

"I have no clue!" Ino shouted as he ran at the human bomb, pulling kunai from the inside of what remained of his coat. The human bomb ran at Naruto, noticeably slower than before. Ino threw his kunai, hitting the human bomb in the leg.

He dropped but still threw his explosive notes. They fluttered in the air a moment before exploding around Naruto, engulfing her in flames. The paper man vanished again.

Ino stared in horror. Until he felt a weight on his back and he twisted his neck to look. Naruto, grinning happily, rested there.

"That was close," she said weakly and slid off Ino's back.

"How?" Ino muttered.

Naruto shrugged. "I'm me. I'm brilliant. Did you really expect me to blow up?" She licked her lips. "It's not easy fighting."

"Yeah, I noticed that myself. I feel pretty useless since I can't use any of your jutsu's, and I can't use any of mine."

"The fight's not over yet, but we prepared for this, and now that it's the two of us, we can handle these guys, no problem," Naruto boasted, clenching a fist. "The weapon freak isn't down for the count, and neither is explode-o, but they're hurt."

"It's that thin guy we have to worry about. Haven't been able to land a single blow on him."

"But has he hit you? Or anyone?" Naruto asked. "Or is just a scare tactic?"

"Whatever it is, it's working. Every time there's an explosion, he disappears for a bit though, so that might be something," Ino said.

"That'll help." Naruto scratched her cheek, wincing when she hit the cut. "You know, this is the first time in a long time that you and I have fought together like this."

"Technically, this is the first time we've ever fought together 'like this'," Ino said motioning to his male body and grinned at Naruto.

"Alright, so here's the plan," Naruto started.

The human bomb had pulled the kunai from his leg and hopped to the weapon ninja on his one good leg. The weapon ninja had pushed out from the wall, steadying his balance. He rubbed his jaw and cracked his neck.

"You alright?" the human bomb asked.

"Bitch can punch," the weapon ninja replied. "The boss ain't gonna be happy about this."

"Our lives are forfeit already. Succeed or die, there is no alternative." The human bomb plucked an explosive note from his chest. "Here they come."

With Ino's help, Naruto launched herself high into the air. She reared back and threw three kunai at the two assassins. They jumped apart, but the explosive note attached to the middle kunai exploded, forcing them further away. Spinning in the air, Naruto fell toward the human bomb, throwing another explosive kunai.

It hit the ground and exploded, forcing the human bomb to jump away again. Naruto landed in a crouch. "I've already figured you out. You're not here to kill Yukie-sama. If that were the case, you would've just blown yourself up by now. You're covered with enough explosive notes to blow up this entire courtyard."

Naruto held up another explosive kunai and grinned maniacally. "So, how 'bout we talk for a minute."

Ino rushed the weapon ninja, throwing shuriken and kunai at rapid speeds. He wasn't surprised with they were harmlessly plucked from the air.

"Still trying that?" the weapon ninja taunted.

"You're overconfident," Ino retorted. "So you can catch some kunai thrown at you, big whoop."

"I suppose that's not much to brag about," the weapon ninja agreed and pulled the twin scythes from his back. He held them in at his sides. "So I'll show you what I'm really capable of."

Ino hopped back, barely dodging the first attack. The length of the scythes had grown, at least eight yards long. It swept through the yard, tearing up the ground from the force. Ino began counting.

One.

"You must be running out of weapons," the weapon ninja goaded, giving chase.

Two.

"Yeah, this is my last," Ino said simply, holding up a single kunai as he danced away from the scythes. He dove to the left, drawing the weapon ninja in a new direction.

Three.

"You can't beat me by running!"

Four.

"You've never played shogi before, have you?" Ino asked in return. "You see, I have a friend named Shikamaru. He's obsessed with the game." He rolled under a scythe before pouncing in the air. "It's all about patience, and making the right moves."

Five.

Chakra had built up on the scythes' blades; a wind release. The courtyard torn apart with each swing.

Six.

"It's really annoying playing him, because I just can't win," Ino continued. "He's always ten steps ahead of me."

Seven.

"What are you blabbering about!" the weapon ninja roared.

Eight.

"You don't think very far ahead," Ino concluded and he threw his last kunai.

Nine.

The weapon ninja ignored it, watching as it missed him completely, stabbing into the potted plant at his side.

Ten.

"With your last kunai, you missed," the weapon ninja mocked. The pot cracked and its side fell open, littering the ground around his feet with dozens of exploding pouches. He looked down, forehead creased in surprise.

"Check mate," Ino said as the pouches lit and exploded. The explosion engulfed the weapon ninja in a ball of flames.

Naruto ignored the sudden blast, attention focused on the human bomb. She twirled the explosive kunai around her finger. "You should give up now."

"Can't do that, I'm afraid," the human bomb replied. "As of this moment, I am already dead."

"Then we can protect you. You just have to provide us with information," Naruto tried.

"My survival tonight has already been decided. The moment Yukie-sama left our sight, we were dead. All we have left is to give our lives."

"And yet, you won't blow yourself up because you need Yukie-sama alive, what a conundrum for you."

"We don't need you alive," the human bomb replied and charged, tearing explosive notes from his sides.

Naruto leapt in the air, away from the paper man's grasp. The human bomb jumped to follow Naruto, tossing his explosive notes in the air. She winced as they erupted around her.

The paper man shimmered, appearing above Naruto, long arms reaching.

Ino lowered his arm, peering over his fingers at the spot the weapon ninja had been standing. Nothing remained but a number of charred and smoking kunai and shuriken. Burnt blood splatters stained the surrounding area and Ino winced in disgust.

"Waste not, want not," he said and hurried to grab a few of the usable kunai. His attention moved to Naruto, finding the woman high in the air, explosions all around her. 'Can't leave her alone for a minute,' he thought before his eyes widened and a smile threatened to split his face.

Naruto landed for only a second before leaping away again, a trio of explosive notes fluttering around her. The paper man followed behind them, but she ignored him. Every time an explosive note went off, he disappeared. Other than corralling, the paper man was useless in the fight.

She landed on top of a potted plant and jammed her hand inside the dirt. When she withdrew it, a long string of shuriken followed. Yanking it back, she cracked it like a whip and the shuriken broke free. She watched as the human bomb tried to dodge them, but a few nicked his arms, cutting the explosive notes.

The human bomb grimaced and shed the notes, hurrying away before they erupted. As he leapt high in the air, his hands pulled at the explosive pouches attached to his hip.

"Heads up," Naruto shouted from the ground.

The last thing the human bomb managed to do was blink. As the scythe passed through his neck, severing it from his body, dozens of explosive notes fell free, fluttering in the air. His body and head hit the ground together, a wet smack, blood pouring over the courtyard.

Ino landed heavily, scythe resting over his shoulder. "This thing's heavier than I thought," he said, the curved blade dripping with blood.

"I wish I had a great one-liner prepared, but I can't think of one off the top of my head," Naruto replied and smiled mirthfully. She blinked as an explosive note fluttered in front of her face. "Ah, shit."

A kunai flew past her face, catching the note and carrying it away moments before it exploded. Naruto shielded the side of her face, surprised. "Was that you?" she asked Ino, who shook his head in denial.

"Sorry, Haruko-chan, that was me."

Naruto fought back a grimace before turning to look at Takehiko. "You threw that kunai?"

The young noble nodded. "I have a little training. Part of being a noble, after all."

"Thanks, was a good throw," Naruto complimented.

"Wouldn't want your pretty face getting damaged," Takehiko said.

Naruto sighed, shoulders slumping in displeasure.

"It's over! Come out!" Ino shouted to the night sky, walking to Naruto's side. "You can't beat us alone."

After a moment, he appeared, an elderly man, worn and tired looking. He sat, cross-legged, at the edge of the giant crater. With a deep sigh, the old man gave the two Konoha ninja a weary smile.

"Not going to run?" Ino asked.

"What reason does a dead man have for running?" the old man replied. "Kill me and be done with it."

"I think we'll keep you as a prisoner, make you answer some questions we have," Naruto replied.

"The plan is already in motion. This is only the beginning. I'm nothing but a single cog in the plot," the old man muttered, shaking his head. "In time, all will be revealed, but it's already too late to stop it."

"What're you talking about, you old fart?" Naruto growled.

The old man reached into his vest and pulled out a knife. Without a word, he shoved it into his throat. He fell forward, blood pouring from his neck, pooling around his head.

"Well, I think our cover's blown," Ino said and glanced back at the huddled nobles, now slowly breaking free from their fear.

"Since you're better at medical stuff, you check the guards and nobles injuries, I'll check the bodies for any information," Naruto suggested, nodding at the dead old man. After walking to the corpse, Naruto lifted the old man's head, blood flowing out slower now. She laid him on his back and began searching his body for any clan markings. Finding nothing, she moved to the decapitated man and started checking him.

"Find anything?" Ino asked after some time had passed.

"Absolutely nothing," Naruto replied and released the body, letting it slump back to the ground. "Nothing that would tell us who they're working for or even what country they're from."

"You got a little something," Ino said, pointing to his chin.

"Huh?" Naruto rubbed her chin, smearing the blood on her fingers across it.

"Idiot," Ino muttered.

"What?" Naruto asked simply.

"There's something on your forehead too."

Naruto ran her bloody fingers over her forehead. "Did I get it?"

"Yeah, it's all gone."

"How are the guards? Did you find Hayato-san?"

"Eight guards dead. Ryouta and Ryou are alive, but both have some wounds. Nothing a little Shousen chakra can't fix." Ino scratched the back of his neck. "No sign of Hayato. I'm worried he might've been blown up while chasing this guy around."

"Where's Yukie-sama?" Naruto asked, looking around the demolished courtyard.

"I'm here," Yukie said, stepping out from the nobles. "I'm safe."

"Your highness, I'm afraid that Naruto and I will have to stay with you tonight, to ensure your safety. Ryouta!" Naruto shouted and the guard sprinted to them, holding his injured arm.

"Hayato's missing, that puts you in charge, right?"

Ryouta nodded, wincing slightly. "What can I do, Yamanaka-san?"

The cat was out of the bag now, didn't matter who knew the truth anymore. "Gather up as many guards as you can. Every noble will be afraid tonight, some may even request to leave. You need to do everything to accommodate and protect them. We need some semblance of order back in this castle."

"Yamanaka-san, I'm impressed," Yukie said softly, appraising Naruto in a new light. "I truly thought you weren't good for anything."

Naruto frowned. "Well, I'm happy to prove you wrong."

"So you are Naruto Uzumaki?"

Ino turned to the speaker. "Ah, yes, I am, Mino-san."

Takehiko beamed at him, extending a hand. "It's an honor to meet such a hero!"

Ino took the hand and shook it once. "Thank you, Mino-san," he replied with a small tilt of the head.

"Who is your partner?" Takehiko asked, turning to Naruto. "Since your name clearly isn't Haruko Motou.

"Ino Yamanaka," Ino introduced Naruto, who was pointedly looking in another direction.

"Even with blood on her face, you're splendid looking, Yamanaka-san," Takehiko complimented.

"Ah, thanks?" Naruto mumbled uncomfortably. "And thanks again for earlier. Really saved my ass."

"Yes, thank you very much, Mino-san," Ino stated, giving Naruto a dirty glare.

"Happy to have been of some help," Takehiko said cheerfully. "It would've saddened me to see damage done to your beautiful body, Yamanaka-san."

"Asshole." Blushing in embarrassment, Naruto grabbed Yukie's wrist, pulling the princess away.

"What a woman," Takahiko said to no one in particular.

Ino couldn't help but nod. "She's something else alright."

* * *

"So how was that?"

The air turned bitter cold, bits of ice crystals forming in the sky. "Informative. Something's not right with Uzumaki."

"I've noticed that as well. But the plan is in motion now, there's no stopping it. The Yamanaka girl won't hinder things, will she?"

"No," the air crack audibly. "Actually, she looks like she might be of use. Prepare yourself, we may move earlier than planned."

* * *

"This isn't good, Ino, we need to switch back now," Naruto said. They stood outside of Yukie's royal bedroom. They had stationed a few guards inside while Naruto and Ino discussed matters outside. "We barely managed against those three as we are. If, and when, someone stronger comes, we'll be in deep shit."

"That all depends on you," Ino replied. "Just remember, the further from the target, the harder to hit, just like throwing a kunai. You miss, and your mind may fly off into the sky and never come back."

Naruto bit her lower lip. "That's why we need to do it now, while we're alone and standing right next to each other. We may not get another chance like this."

"Give it your best shot," Ino said and Naruto nodded. "Concentrate on me."

Naruto closed her eyes and inhaled lightly. When she exhaled, she stared up at Ino. Their gazes met and held. Naruto's hands moved

Boar, Bird, Boar, Dragon, Rat, Horse, Ram, Hare, Ox, Boar.

A moment of silence.

"I still have no penis."

"I still have your penis."

Naruto sighed. "At least I have your breasts to comfort me," she said, cupping her chest.

"That's twelve," Ino warned.

"You know, I'm really starting to look forward to this beating," Naruto replied, grinning slyly.

There was a light cough and Naruto and Ino snapped to attention. A servant, with sharp blue eyes, stood a few feet away, holding a silver platter, food covered by a round lid. "This is for Yukie-sama," he said softly, eyes giving Ino a once over.

"Ah, thanks," Ino replied nervously, taking the tray from the servant's hands. The servant gave a short bow and hurried away.

"Wasn't that the servant that was checking you out last night?" Naruto asked, tapping her chin. "Must've wanted another glance at my sexy bod."

Ino stared after the servant, a strange prick rising in his chest.

* * *

Next Time: Chapter 8 – Moving Mountains

The plan is motion. Nothing can stop it. Naruto and Ino are at their most vulnerable when they face an enemy they have no chance of beating the way they are.

A/N: Uh . . . Yeah, so this chapter is done. Way longer than I planned, probably two times what I thought which seems to be what's happening of late. Longest chapter of this fic, actually. I hadn't been writing my fics, been working on actual novel stuff, so I finally sat down and churned this out in about 5 days. Lemme know if you liked it! Or if it sucked! Also took the time to reformat the previous chapters to normal standards, so they're not all funky.

I'm sure there are some typos or grammar mistakes. If you see any, feel free to point them out so I can fix them. Thanks for reading, sorry for the wait!


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